


Rough Comforts

by Basched



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: ATA Gene, Ancients, Angry Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Athosian beliefs, First Time, M/M, Satedan Culture & Beliefs, Slash, hate/love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 46,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basched/pseuds/Basched
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One angry Satedan warrior in mourning.  One Air Force major who doesn't want him on Atlantis.   </p>
<p>A confrontation begins between the two of them that leads to something neither of them expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Satedan Runner

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever Stargate Atlantis fic. 
> 
> Started writing this ages ago, mainly because I despaired at the lack of scenes my two favourite characters had in the series. I love Ronon and Lorne and I need to have them in my life. 
> 
> The story is basically expanding on some of the episodes and putting in what I feel should have been in the series. It's still an ongoing project... so we'll see how it ends up. Not sure if I should be posting up more WIPs but after seeing Kavan in SPN... I had to. 
> 
> Thanks go out to Fififolle who beta'd. All mistakes are mine. Constructive and cool comments are appreciated. 
> 
> \------

“Get us out of here, Lorne!” 

Evan immediately relieved the young soldier, slipped into the pilot’s chair of the puddle jumper and began the start-up sequence. The Wraith were still around, but hopefully they would leave (soon) and allow them to get back to Atlantis. 

Checking over his shoulder, Evan did a quick head count of the personnel. McKay was huffing and puffing, the heavy red radiation suit weighed him down and so he practically fell into the seats, stumbling against one of Lorne’s men. The Doc came running up the ramp and Teyla followed helping him with the last of his equipment. All Lorne’s men were present too as was Sheppard who was the last to get on, at least that was until a tall scruffy half naked man with dreadlocks followed him. 

Intimidating, threatening and dangerous, in fact everything about this man had Lorne immediately on his guard. This was the guy who took Teyla hostage, who the Wraith were after and now they were bringing him back to Atlantis? That really didn’t bode well in his mind. His hand was already on his weapon, had been when he first saw him, but it stayed as Sheppard already had him covered. But even with the other soldiers sitting next to the alien man, he towered above them. 

_Okay…he’s big._

When the alien glared at him menacingly, Evan returned the look with the same amount of contempt, warning him not to try anything. The man straightened up in defiance and snarled, one hand slipping down to his lap and curling into a fist.

_Really. Don’t try anything._

“Major, we’re good for lift off!” Sheppard sat next to Lorne and leaned forward a little to look out the window as the Wraith darts began to disappear through the gate. 

“Wait, where’s Ford?” Lorne broke his stare from the alien and looked to the open ramp. 

The lack of response from his CO and the saddened look upon his face, told Lorne all he needed to know. The ramp began to ascend. 

All through the flight back, Lorne couldn’t help but look over his shoulder now and then at the new passenger. He was going to be trouble, Lorne knew it. 

\-------

 

_“That’s Sateda?”_

No survivors, nothing. There were only ruins of what had once been a beautiful world and he was all that remained of his people. 

The reality of being the last Satedan alive punched him hard in the stomach and twisted all his insides invoking a nauseous and burning hatred and insurmountable grief. Ronon didn’t show it, he just grit his teeth and clenched his fists and kept a lid on all the emotions inside. However, seven years of instinct to keep running was screaming in every fibre of his being and that was something he could never ignore. 

He had to get out of here. 

Ronon Dex turned away from the MALP images of his birthplace and walked out of the command centre. He wasn’t going to wait around for further talk from those people, or for his ‘guard’ to catch up with him. He would figure a way off this world and away from these humans, even if it killed them. 

However, out in the corridor he nearly barged straight into one of the men from the shuttle. The one Sheppard had called Lorne. 

“Hey, do you mind watching where you’re going?” 

It was a dumb thing to say as he already was watching, but Ronon didn’t reply. He simply stretched himself to his full height and barged purposely against the smaller man, causing him to take a couple of steps back. Unlike others, this man didn’t violently react or start mouthing off. He kept his cool and stood his ground, glaring up at Ronon defiantly with intense blue eyes. This was the guy who had stared at him on the shuttle, the one who looked as if he wanted Ronon to lash out. This was the guy who had kept looking at him expecting a fight, a means to get back at him for taking the female hostage. He probably blamed Ronon when they weren’t able to bring back their friend as well. 

Ronon’s need to unleash and vent his anger was now suddenly greater than the need to run. He looked the older man up and down and snarled again. This man could take beating, in fact the more the human glared at him with judging eyes, the more Ronon wanted to carry it out. 

This Lorne person wouldn’t last a couple of minutes in a hand to hand fight against a Satedan Specialist, their training was second to none in this galaxy, but as the two of them still stood posturing, their chests brushing against one another in some show of bravado, it seemed that Lorne thought differently. Now Ronon really wanted to pummel this fool, to take the blame and hatred he held towards the Wraith out on him. 

The man really didn’t like Ronon either. Oh Ronon could tell he was trying to be nice and polite for the new visitor and he sickeningly saw pity in those eyes as well and that was the last straw. He didn’t want pity, not from Sheppard, Weir or the others, and certainly not from this man. Ronon was already imagining beating him, each move, punch and kick swift and hard, and the more he thought on various other ways to incapacitate Lorne, the more his hands twitched in anticipation. He really wanted to act upon these urges; to show this human what a mistake it was to pity him. 

“Excuse me, you’re in my way.” 

_False pleasantries, he’s still trying to be nice? Typical._

“You’re in mine.” Ronon said back at him, his eyes widening and screaming for Lorne to give him the smallest of excuses to throw a punch right here and now. 

“Are you going to move?” Lorne asked. 

“No.” 

It wasn’t until Sheppard and the military guard came towards them that Ronon finally stepped out of Lorne’s way and allowed him to continue on towards the command centre. 

“Thank you.” 

_Yeah, that wasn’t 100% sincere._

Ronon didn’t respond to Sheppard when he asked what was going on. He just made some deep guttural vocalisation and headed off towards the room where they had been keeping him. When he was alone, the desire to vent became even worse. His head felt as if it was splitting apart and he couldn’t bare it. He had to do something or else he would snap. 

Ronon closed his eyes, but he saw his people dying and being slaughtered by the Wraith. He remembered his family, Melena and the deaths of so many others, other women and children; it made him choke upon the anger and loss that was eating him up. The tears were burning his eyes and cheeks as they fell; he was the last Satedan alive. 

There was no one else.

So Ronon only had one option. 

\-------

 

“Elizabeth, he’s just found out his whole planet has been wiped out by the Wraith! What did we expect him to do?” 

Weir rubbed her forehead and sat down into her chair. “I know, Colonel, but in the process of it all, he did injure three of our people. He could have killed them!”

“Heck, he is looking for revenge! He’s been hunted by the Wraith for seven years and I’d say that need is pretty strong.” 

“Agreed. When you put it like that…look, John I’m not happy for Ronon to be walking around Atlantis without more than two guards. Three is minimum, at least.”

“I don’t think that three, four or even five will be adequate. He took out over seven Atlantis personnel in that escape attempt.” John sighed. “He did warn me that Keilty and Daniels wouldn’t be enough, I should have realised.”

“Did Ronon tell you why he didn’t go through the gate in the end, why he changed his mind?” 

“Not really.” Shepherd looked over the gate room and watched as the personnel caught up in Ronon’s escape were slowly getting things back to normal. It had been an impressive attempt, especially with how Ronon had managed to get past the defences, disable the command staff, open the gate and get back down there. But it was puzzling that at the last minute the Satedan stopped himself and allowed Shepherd to apprehend him. “He made a request though.” 

“A request?”

“He wants to use our training room.” 

“He wants to use our training room?” Weir was utterly puzzled. “He could have escaped through the Stargate and instead he changes his mind in order to use our training room?” 

“He’s a man who really needs to vent out a lot of grief and anger and I’d say let him but let him take it out on the gym equipment and not our people. Once he’s destroyed things in there he might settle down.” 

“Settle down? I don’t know about that John.” Weir sighed. She looked to be thinking about the situation for a moment. John could see that she wasn’t too keen on the idea, especially when this man had taken Teyla hostage and had taken out marines and trained SG personnel without so much as a sweat, but Sheppard knew she understood why he was like this. How would any of them react if they found out Earth had been destroyed and they were all that remained? Weir finally nodded in agreement with Sheppard. “Fine, let him use the gym and if he wants to leave after that, he’s more than welcome to, provided he doesn’t compromise our security here. Colonel, I want you to make sure that Ronon understands that.” 

Sheppard nodded his thanks and when Weir smiled, he took it as read that he could leave. 

Once he told Ronon that he could use the training room and when the Satedan specialist vented and grieved in his own way, he hoped that Ronon would decide to stay on Atlantis instead of leave. Someone with his skills and expertise was too good to pass up. He would make a great ally. 

Sheppard wasn’t going to mention that to Weir yet, he wanted Ronon the opportunity to think about it first. 

\--------

 

He couldn’t sleep.

Painting wasn’t helping him as it usually did but then who could after that escape attempt happened? Lorne couldn’t believe the man was still here, that Weir and Sheppard were allowing him to remain, especially after Ronon had put three marines into the infirmary with broken appendages. 

He had voiced his concerns about Ronon Dex, as any good XO would, but it appeared that Sheppard had his own plans. Evan may not have agreed but it was his CO’s call and he would say nothing more on the matter, unless Dex did something further to jeopardise Atlantis and their safety. 

Not happy with his latest attempts at artistic creation, Evan put down his brush and made a grab for a t-shirt. He put it on and then snatched up his bag. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep in this state so he left his quarters and headed straight for the training room. 

A good work out on the punch bags and other equipment might relieve this frustration and tire him out. 

When he got there and saw the familiar statue like forms of Keilty, Chang and Daniels standing outside, he felt a disgruntled groan leave his mouth. Ronon was in there. 

Through the doors he could hear the sounds of deep furious grunting and of hard thumping impacts with the punch bag. Ronon was having a serious anger management session. 

Any sensible person would have turned around and walked away at this point. Evan Lorne usually and most of the time had a level head on his shoulders and as a major in USAF he’d know when to fight and when not to, but everything about this new ‘guest’ had his hackles up. 

Yes, Ronon Dex was the last of his kind and it was horrible for him to learn of his people’s demise, Lorne felt great sympathy for him because of that, but there was something that wasn’t quite right about the Satedan. They knew nothing about him, what kind of a man he was or whether he could be trusted. Yes he had been in the military, but even Earth’s military had bad eggs amongst them. 

Lorne was too wound up and wired to think more about what is was that was making him distrust the man more than usual, especially when it was five am in the morning. Jeez, he had been up all night? He needed to tire himself out, to take the edge off this tension he was feeling. Lorne could have gone for a run, but no, he pushed open the doors and walked inside. 

As soon as he stepped over the threshold, Ronon halted his workout. The room became silent and the four marines who had been watching Ronon stood to attention when they saw it was Lorne who had come in. The other three guards from outside quickly followed, looking just as concerned as the others. 

“Sir, he’s been doing this all night, he hasn’t stopped. I wouldn’t approach him if I were you.” 

Lorne ignored Keilty’s warning; he could see for himself that the Satedan had worked up more than a sweat, that his grief was still fueling him. 

Stripped from the waist up, with his feet also bare, the sweat was pouring off Ronon’s mocha skin. His long thick dreadlocks were soaked as well and he had pinned them up high on the top of his head, only a few of which had fallen loose around his shoulders. Ronon’s hands were bandaged and his blood soaked through the strips and spatters of it covered the red plastic of the punch bag. 

Ronon looked tired too, dark bags showed under his eyes but there was a fierce determination to keep going. He was staring at Lorne with the same primal, vicious and intimidating manner as before, along with a powerful longing to dish out some serious hurt. The grin planted on his face clearly showed that he wanted to fight with Lorne and that he was looking forward to using him as some kind of punch bag.

Ronon had more than several inches on Lorne, his height was a powerful advantage as well as the size of his bulk, but that had never deterred Lorne with past opponents. He had been against bigger and bested them. If Ronon had been doing this all night, he would be tired which would be a definite advantage for Lorne, but Ronon would also be unpredictable in this state. Sparring with him would prove to be an interesting challenge. 

But if he were to join Ronon on that mat, the both of them knew that it wasn’t going to be a simple sparring match. So Lorne said nothing; neither of them did as Lorne threw his bag down, stripped off his shirt and kicked off his shoes to join Ronon on the crash mat. 

_Evan, what are you doing? This is not a good idea. Turn around, get your things and go for a fucking run._

“Sir! Major? Are you seriously going to go ahead with this?” 

The concern of all the Marines was ignored again. Foolishly.

Lorne took up a defensive stance and the two men began to circle one another, eyeing each other for almost five minutes, watching for weaknesses to exploit. 

Ronon attacked first. 

His fist cracked hard to Lorne’s jaw and Lorne stumbled back. Once again the Marines went to Lorne’s aid but he held up his hand in warning to keep them back. When they did, Lorne rubbed at his jaw, it wasn’t broken but it had been a hefty punch as the pain throbbed through his skull. Ronon smirked. Lorne realised that it wasn’t a full on punch, a guy of his size could quite easily kill someone with a single punch if he wanted. This was supposed to hurt. 

Immediately a second jab caught Lorne in the ribs whilst he was still reeling from the blow to his face and a foot swiped at his leg. The blow to his ribs wasn’t hard either, but it still damned hurt, as did his back when his legs came out from underneath him and Lorne landed heavily on his back. Lorne rolled, flipped back to his feet quickly and the circling begun again. Ronon looked so pleased with himself, in fact he looked like a cat playing with a mouse, as if this was only teasing Lorne. 

USAF officers and Marines have intense and rigorous training before they became officers and Marines, but not all had the extra expertise Evan Lorne had gone through. He knew and had mastered several kinds of martial arts, and during his time at the SGC, Teal’c had personally taught him Jaffa fighting methods, and now, those skills didn’t let him down when he retaliated. 

Ronon managed to block some of the hits Lorne gave, but the ones that did connect made him stagger. Lorne also blocked the Satedan’s responses as well and that pissed Ronon off no end. He was livid as he clearly didn’t expect a puny human from Earth to be able to do this to him. 

Right jab to the abdomen. Left upper cut to the face. Swing, duck, turn, jump, downward kick to the back of the leg and…right fist to the face. 

Lorne smiled. 

Blood dripped now from Ronon’s lip. 

A furied rumble sounded from the younger man and his retaliation came quick and hard. 

Lorne again managed to block and dodge some of Ronon’s assaults but even through fatigue the man was a tough opponent. If Ronon wasn’t tired, this fight might be more his but those bloodied fists that impacted with Evan still hurt. A lot. 

It was the particularly harsh crack to the back of his head that sent Lorne down. 

When Lorne collapsed, his head was spinning and he hacked and coughed violently before rolling on the mat in agony. He didn’t think he would be able to get back up after that, he could taste blood in his mouth and his limbs were aching, protesting.

He really should stop and normally Lorne would, knowing when it was best to give up. He wasn’t going to. 

“Major!” 

He heard the approaching boots of the guards but they stopped. The guards backed away when through blurred eyes Lorne saw Ronon standing above him, seething with anger and frustration. 

“Get up.” The Satedan hissed, spitting onto the mat beside Lorne. “Get up!” 

Lorne thought he heard one of the guards calling for Sheppard, for assistance from anyone who could get here quick enough and then he heard himself yell at them to belay that order. For some strange reason, he didn’t want any interference and certainly not from his CO. 

_What the hell are you doing? This is not like you! Do you hate this guy that much? How could you? You don’t know him!_

He gasped for air and rolled again, several times in fact, and when he tried to get to his knees Ronon kept him down, kicking him back to the floor when he appeared to be succeeding. After one violent boot to Lorne’s stomach, he thought he had lost and this was the end of it, but with a sweep of his foot, he felt it connect with a leg and the Satedan was upended to the floor next to him. 

Lorne quickly scrambled over Ronon, jabbing his elbow directly into Ronon’s stomach and winding him which allowed Lorne to get in other harder jabs to Ronon’s torso. Once Lorne somehow got to his feet, he allowed Ronon to do the same and then for a brief moment Lorne was overcome with a wave of curiosity. There was a brief pleading, almost begging expression in Ronon’s eyes, as if he wanted Lorne to keep kicking him and pummeling the crap out of him. He could see a part of Ronon wanted to feel the pain as much as he was giving out. 

Lorne knew that feeling all too well. He had lost close friends and family members and the anguish was crippling to a point of numbness that was unbearable.  
Both clambered to regain their footing and while every part of Lorne’s body was feeling as if it was going to break apart, he managed to dodge Ronon’s next onslaught. 

Regaining a new surge in strength, Lorne took advantage of Ronon’s haphazard flailing punches and fought back with successive punches and kicks which dropped the Satedan back to his knees. The momentary frailty in Dex changed back to anger and he tried to attack again, but as he approached Lorne on his knees, his arms swung pathetically in an attempt to hit him. 

“Stop. It’s over.” 

Lorne’s request fell on deaf ears. Two hands latched onto his waist, clawing fingers dug into his already bruised sides and dragged him down. Ronon was seething, spit and blood hissed from between his teeth and when that sneering grin formed on his face, Lorne reacted, but not quickly enough. 

Ronon head butted him and both men fell on their backs writhing from the brunt of it. Lorne heard what was clearly a spewing of Satedan swear words and he had a few curses of his own as the whole room spun around him. 

_Oh god I’m going to feel like hell later. I think I have concussion…_

Moving was extremely difficult but not impossible and so Lorne crawled to Ronon and from behind locked his arm around Ronon’s neck, hauling them both off the floor and onto their knees. They struggled, Ronon tried to pry Lorne’s arm from his neck, but it was pretty futile. 

“Get out!” Lorne heard himself yell another order to the marines, but they didn’t move. “I said get out! Now! That is an order!” 

“So what?” Ronon spat, clawing his nails into Lorne’s skin. “Are you going to kill me?” 

“Don’t tempt me!” Lorne winced and blinked a couple of times before steadying himself more as Ronon began to thrash in his hold. The Marines were still here, their guns raised. “Get out!” 

The sound of the doors told Lorne that the Marines had indeed left, but he didn’t loosen his hold on Ronon, who was squirming even more. 

“You need to stop this now,” Lorne ordered in Ronon’s ear, “because you’re really not helping yourself.”

“Like any of you care about what happens to me.”

“Oh we care, we do. I care about what happens to you and to a lot of people, but I do have to be honest and say I don’t particularly like you, which is strange as I get along with most people. Sheppard wants you to stay…me not so much, but he’s my CO and I will follow his orders. Now, I’m sorry that your world is gone and I’m sorry you’ve lost everything—!”

“Don’t you dare feel sorry for me!”

“—but I have had enough. I’m tired and hurting and so this ends now. The guards will take you back to your room and then, hopefully, you’ll calm the hell down.”

“Whatever.” Ronon jerked violently again but achieved nothing. “Why did you send the guards out?” 

“You don’t want to be seen as weak or vulnerable. I’d feel the same way… I’m trying to do you a favour.”

“I’m not weak and I don’t need any of your fucking favours either!” 

Ronon bolted, he twisted and turned, but Lorne held firm. Then Ronon just lurched up and over slamming Lorne onto his back. Lorne managed to keep his hold and wrapped his legs around Ronon’s waist. 

Ronon struggled more, his restricted breathing clearly not stopping him, but Lorne was taken by surprise as Ronon twisted the both of them round so he was facing the floor, then he rose up to his knees and onto his feet with Lorne still clinging to his back. 

“Oh shit.” 

Ronon staggered to and fro on unsteady feet with Lorne holding onto him before he was shoved hard against the wall several times and at last his grip around Ronon’s neck and waist dropped away, but he did not. 

Ronon turned quickly to face Lorne. His body thrust hard into him again and slammed him against the wall as his hand slid around Evan’s throat. Lorne tried to pry the fingers apart and pull the hand away; he flailed with his feet to find the ground, he coughed and spluttered for breath, but then those eyes stared at him, dark angry, hurting eyes bore into him, along with a heaving panting breath of spit and blood. 

Ronon didn’t need to say anything, for Lorne could feel the confliction within Dex through the heaving pants of their chests, he could see it in the expressions on Ronon’s face, interchanging from hatred to gut wrenching sorrow. He could feel Ronon finally waning, tiring too, as his grip on his neck loosened and his body finally dropped Lorne to the floor. Lorne would have collapsed completely, but the heavy form of Ronon’s torso still pressed against him. 

“I don’t want your pity.” Ronon sneered, barely containing his contempt and rage. 

“What? You just want this?” Lorne looked over the blood and bruises on both of their bodies and grimaced. “You need to fight…to hurt?” 

Ronon nodded and kept his head bowed low, so low that their faces were close to touching. 

“Makes me know I’m alive. The pain…all of it…I need to feel it.” 

“So you take it out on me?” 

“Why not?” 

Lorne was going to tell him that it was because he didn’t trust him, that he didn’t like him and wanted him gone from the city; he was going to tell Ronon that this was also really bad timing as today has been a really bad day for him and—dammit!—he should have gone for the run instead, but as they both continued to squirm against each other, it wasn’t long before both of them realised that the whole fight had brought on completely different and unexpected feelings, new stirrings, startling and hard. 

“Oh shit!” 

Their eyes fluttered closed, for a moment he thought he felt the Satedan’s lips brush with his, along with the tingles of the hairs of Ronon’s beard, but Lorne definitely felt an arousing heat pool in his groin as a not-too-little hardness rubbed against his thigh. He began to stiffen as well and his breath caught in his throat in horror. 

Panic swelled up in Evan’s chest and his knee rose sharply on instinct, connecting painfully between Ronon’s legs. The Satedan bellowed and collapsed to the floor cradling injured genitals. Lorne staggered away from the wall, dazed beyond belief and stumbled around the room in confused circles. 

_Oh god….oh god…this isn’t happening! This did not just happen!_

Lorne looked at Ronon, still groaning on the floor holding his crotch, and frowned. A terrifying fear was now pounding in his chest, making his breathing even more difficult and he tried to shake it off. He shook his head in denial. This was not normal, not for him. 

Lorne liked a fight as much as the next guy but this was way beyond his comfort zone. Never had he ever had this reaction when he fought, training or otherwise, and certainly not towards guys. The warm sweat that sheened over his bare chest was now turning cold. Lorne began to shake. 

“Major Lorne!”

Lorne spun round at the familiar voice calling out his name and he snapped to attention, covering his semi-erection with his hands in the hope that it would diminish now he and Ronon and stopped trying to beat each other up. 

“Get Ronon to the infirmary, now.” Sheppard’s command to the Marines was quickly followed out. Ronon was walked out and as he passed Lorne, he gave him a look of absolute hatred.

When the doors shut, the whole room was eerily quiet except for the slight squeak of Sheppard’s boots as the Colonel paced in front of him. Evan was hugely aware of how hard and fast his heart was beating and when the dizzying haze began to clear, he could finally focus.

He was in trouble. 

Lorne could only look at the wall as Sheppard stopped pacing and stood in front of him.

Sheppard was a laid back CO, which was why he and Lorne worked so well together in commanding the military on Atlantis. Their friendship was probably the only reason why Sheppard was not raging like other COs Lorne had known, yet he was pissed off at something and Lorne knew all too well what it was. 

He had let him down. 

There would be no excuses, no lies. He should tell John the truth, but not the bit about suddenly getting a stiff one from having a fight with Ronon and from being so close to actually kissing him. 

“Major…would you care to tell me, why my quiet evening in with Johnny Cash was interrupted? Why I was called down here by the Marines telling me my XO was allowing himself to be beaten up by our new guest?” 

“I wasn’t allowing myself to be beaten up, sir,” Lorne responded, still not able to look at Sheppard. “Technically we were beating each other up. It was a sparring match and it…kinda got out of hand…sir.” 

“So I noticed.” John sighed and became less than formal, resting a hand on Lorne’s shoulder, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Look, Evan, I know you have doubts about him and you’re right to have them. I do too. There’s a lot we don’t know about Ronon which is why I’ve asked Teyla, Beckett and Heightmeyer to keep an eye on him whilst he stays here and give me their opinions. It’s why I want you to watch him too, to see if I’m right about him. Lorne, you’re a good officer, one of the best I’ve served with and I respect your opinions, I want you to help me out here. I have this vibe about Dex…”

_You’re not the only one._ Lorne slightly cringed and briefly looked down to make sure his hands were still covering himself. _But I really doubt yours is giving you a hard on._

“Ronon has proven himself to be an exceptional fighter, he knows his way around and if he wants to stay, if he adapts to our way of things, I reckon he’ll become a beneficial and useful ally. Maybe he’ll even become an integral part of one of our teams, but I can’t proposition that idea to Weir until I’m confident enough with who he is. When my men are starting fights with him and letting said fights get out of hand, when my XO seemingly forgets his place, it doesn’t help my position. I need your support, Evan and that means not getting into scraps and pummelling the man into mush.”

“I understand, sir. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.” 

_No more sparring with Dex. Definitely. Not ever._

Sheppard smiled and bobbed his head with approval. He knew that Lorne would be good on his word.

“Good. In the meantime, be civil and nice to the guy, like you are to everyone else. Ronon is the last surviving member of his race, surely you can be nice to him as well?”

“Of course, sir. I can and I will.” 

“Excellent.” 

“Is that all, Colonel?” Lorne hoped and wished that it was. 

Sheppard shook his head. “Are you okay? This really isn’t like you to go off on one even when you’re sparring. Y’know, I thought I was the calm and collected one, but you make me look like McKay on a bad day. Not today though. The Marines were pretty concerned about you as well. Don’t you usually read a book or draw or whatever instead of getting all worked up?”

“Usually, yeah, but I’m okay, really, sir. I just couldn’t sleep and my usual methods weren’t working. I was a little wired and I couldn’t think or relax properly either. I guess I needed to blow off some steam, tire myself out physically.” 

“Well, you’d best get some sleep, after you’ve checked your injuries with Beckett in the infirmary, first. Dismissed.” 

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Lorne quickly headed for the door, but before he could get away, Sheppard called out to him. 

“Major, as you interrupted my JC evening and for your conduct, I will expect you to apologise to Ronon and to the guys who witnessed it all. I can’t have either of them thinking that what you did was acceptable. Is that clear?” 

All he needed to do was give them an apology? That was a very light reprimand. Lorne nodded in acceptance. Sheppard wasn’t finished though.

“Also, McKay is giving a lecture on one of his experiments later today, for the science team’s benefit he said. It’s mandatory for them apparently and Rodney said it will take about four hours, give or take. Consider yourself under orders to attend it. In full.” 

_Oh shit._

Sheppard grinned. 

“I would have gone for a run if I were you.” 

_Yeah, I should have done._


	2. Major Duet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is only one way to vent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. :) Might be a while before I post the next, but do enjoy. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

The tiny Doctor saved him again. 

It was Carson Beckett who had made it possible for Ronon to stop running. He had been the one who extracted the tracker from his back and now Ronon could rest. Even though Sateda was destroyed and his people dead, Ronon had contemplated returning, now that he was able, but he wasn’t ready, not yet. He wasn’t ready for a lot of things. 

Atlantis was his home now, but he doubted that it would be for very long because he couldn’t fit in with these people, there were too many rules, especially for a person who had lived with virtually none for a number of years. 

Ronon did have to hand it to the little Doc, he saved him a second time for sure when the doors to the infirmary opened and the very man he was hoping to avoid (or confront?) walked in, looking worn out and battered, in the exact state that Ronon had left him in, minus a certain affliction. 

Why it had happened to both of them, Ronon didn’t have a clue, but whilst he was beyond confused about it, even disturbed that such arousing feelings arose when he was in the midst of grieving and coming to terms with being the last of his kind, it didn’t stop him glaring at that half-naked human, at every newly formed bruise patterning his skin, his tattoos, the stern rigid contours of his bloodied jaw and at the drops of sweat dripping from his dark hair and down over his body. 

_Snap out of it, Dex! Stop it! This isn’t…he isn’t what you need._

His body had told him differently apparently, but he wasn’t going to accept it now, or ever, if he could help it. 

Beckett was treating the last of Ronon’s cuts on his face, yapping away, his strange accent was distracting Ronon, preventing him from going over to the Major and…what? What would he do to Lorne? Punch him again or something a hell of a lot worse? 

As a Runner there had been two simple options to everything, run or fight. A third option was now arising, becoming just as instinctual as the other two, but this third option hadn’t been on the table for years due to the fact he had to purposely avoid any contact (or tried to) with others. 

_It’s been a while…_

He had coped without and he would continue to do so. At this moment, Ronon was grateful for the Doc’s continuing babble, but his patience wasn’t going to last, especially if Beckett kept prodding him. Carson was asking questions, important ones Ronon assumed, but all he could do was make vocal huffs and grunts of response whilst he continued to glare at the other man across the room. Lorne was trying to do the same back to him, but the discomfort that the Major was trying to hide was evident. 

Lorne didn’t want to be here anymore than Ronon did, however his body language was saying that he had to be, that Sheppard had told him to be here. 

_He’s been ordered to apologise to me. Oh great. I don’t need this._

“Oh my good God! Not you too, major!” Beckett had glanced over his shoulder to see what Ronon was so angrily scowling at and saw Lorne in pretty much the same condition. “Did you steal each other’s lunch money? What the heck have you two been doing?” 

His last question wasn’t one that either of them wanted to answer. Lorne just shrugged his shoulders and scratched the back of his head as if he was completely innocent of any wrong doing. Touching his head made Lorne wince and Ronon saw him sway a little. 

“Atlantis isn’t a school playground, gentlemen!” Beckett frowned at the two Marines who were in his way and when they obediently stepped aside, he walked over to Lorne, shoved him towards a chair and began to fuss over him like a doting mother. “Sit down Lorne, for heaven’s sake and let me take a look at you! Ronon…you’re good to go, if you must, but take it easy, do y’hear?” 

“Sure, doc. Whatever.” 

Ronon rose up from the bed immediately and the guards took a couple of steps back, their hands tightened on their weapons. He huffed, hardly surprised at their actions and went to walk out of the room, but he stopped when he heard the scraping of the chair leg and Beckett’s heavy sigh of dismay as Lorne obviously got back to his feet. 

“Ronon, look… I owe you an apol--!” 

“Don’t.” Ronon didn’t even bother turning round. 

“I have to…” 

“Don’t bother.” 

That was that. 

Ronon walked away and the Marine guards followed him back to his room, where they remained outside, ever vigilant. 

For the next few hours Ronon sat on his bed and stared at the blank wall as he was left alone with his thoughts of everything that had happened over the past few days. 

When sleep took him, he had the same dream he had been having for seven years. A single Wraith was chasing him, as it always had done, but the dream was different than before. Instead of a nameless barren and culled planet strewn with bodies and darts flying overhead, Ronon was running through the deserted corridors of Atlantis. There were no lights, no signs of power or life anywhere. 

The dream had always ended with the lone Wraith catching him and trying to feed on him before instead shoving its hand through his body and ripping out his innards. 

However when the Wraith finally caught up with Ronon, it wasn’t a Wraith. It was Lorne and he didn’t kill Ronon by pulling out his innards. 

\------------

It was a good thing he wasn’t on the duty rota today. 

Having gone with no sleep and a body that had taken a pretty hefty beating, all Evan Lorne wanted to do was go to bed. Carson had checked him over and ordered him to rest and Lorne wasn’t going to argue with the Scotsman. He had seen Carson Beckett when he was angry and he was damned feisty and pretty intense.

Like a zombie Lorne trudged into his room, his footsteps were slow and heavy; he could barely lift them up. He shuffled across the room and collapsed on his bed, sleep taking over instantly. 

Lorne didn’t know how long he slept, but when he woke up, he did so with his hand holding onto his hard aching cock and a vivid image of what he had been dreaming about still very clear in his mind.

Ronon. 

“Oh shit.” 

\-------

**Several days later…**

When the request came for Lorne and his team to accompany Sheppard’s team to Thenora, Evan was more than eager to get stuck in on an off world mission. He wanted to get off Atlantis so he didn’t have to keep bumping into Ronon and to be constantly reminded why he was so on edge. 

He still didn’t trust the man, there was a lot they didn’t know about him, and the fact that what happened, happened, made Lorne even more disliking towards Ronon Dex. But being the third-in-command on Atlantis, it was impossible to avoid Dex, especially when Sheppard was keen on the guy becoming a part of the expedition. 

A lot of people were avoiding Ronon actually, for unlike Teyla and the Athosians when they came to Atlantis, he was extremely intimidating and very angry pretty much all the time. His manners left a lot to be desired (his table manners especially) and he projected these hostile vibes that frankly no one, except a select few, could stand to be around him for long. 

Lorne had had more than enough people come up to him, even seasoned airmen and Marines, saying how uncomfortable they were with Ronon around. They asked him if he was staying or leaving soon, but when he said about Sheppard’s intentions to see how Ronon would fit in, it was responded to with despondency. 

While it was nice for Lorne to know that it wasn’t just him having doubts about Dex, none of them were dubious of him because they were getting stiff at the thought of scrapping with him. 

Well none that Lorne knew. 

However, as much as Lorne tried to avoid Ronon, it seemed that the big guy or “Chewie” as Sheppard had so aptly named him, was doing the same to Lorne. In the mess hall, if Ronon saw him, he would immediately discard his plate and storm away. Even in the corridor, if they saw each other, they would turn around and walk in opposite directions. The training room Lorne definitely avoided, however there were a few times when Lorne was invited to spar with some of the other men and Ronon instantly left when Lorne showed up. 

It was just impossible to not run into the man and it was driving Lorne insane because every corner he turned, every staircase he climbed, there was Ronon Dex. He thought about talking to Heightmeyer about what happened between him and Ronon, but that just made him cringe and so he took to smiling falsely and hoping that his body wouldn’t betray him. 

When the mission to Thenora came up, Lorne was keen to help out, it was a chance to get off Atlantis and away from Ronon, but reality sunk in when they reached the world and saw what awaited them. 

There were no signs of survivors, for the Wraith had utterly devastated the population and left nothing but burning towns littered with bodies. Whilst some of the people here had been fed upon, the others were taken for later consumption. There was no one left. 

But Sheppard, being ever hopeful, made the party split into smaller teams and commanded them to scout the forests and fields beyond the towns. McKay, Carson and Cadman went one way; Sheppard, Chang and Phillips went a second, and Lorne, Teyla and Jennings made a third, whilst the last two Marines remained at the gate. 

Searching through the woods wasn’t revealing any escaped villagers, but Teyla was just like Sheppard, hopeful. She always was. They searched for a while, coming across a few more bodies, discarded flags and broken carts, but there was nothing, no one. 

“Why don’t you talk to him?” 

Lorne was brought out from his thoughts as Teyla came to walk beside him. He gave her a brief quizzical ‘huh?’ but continued to scout for signs of life in the undergrowth. The search continued on again, in silence, until Teyla spoke up minutes later.

“Major, get to know him if you still don’t think you can trust him,” she said. “Don’t simply reject Ronon Dex because of first impressions. They can be deceiving. ” 

Lorne again looked at her. This really wasn’t appropriate field conversation. 

“What makes you think I don’t trust him?” 

Teyla sighed and her facial expression said it loud and clear. _‘Really, major, you’re not fooling me.’_

“I have noticed how you avoid him when you see him in the city and I know you have misgivings as to his past and who he really is, so why don’t you spend some time in his company and get to know him? Why avoid him?” 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Teyla knew what was going on, the Athosian leader was very good at reading people and picking up on the small things, but Lorne was surprised. How much did she know? 

Lorne paused for a moment and unconsciously hugged at the bazooka in his arms. When he realised what he was doing—Jennings was giving him a funny look—he saw that Teyla had walked on ahead. Lorne carried on catching up with her. He didn’t ask her how she knew, it would only incite her curiosity further so Lorne allowed the search to continue, but when they began to cover some ground they’d already been through, all three of them mutually agreed to head back to the gate and the rendezvous point. 

“Have you spoken to him?” asked Lorne, when Jennings was sufficiently out of ear shot. The question sounded a little childish. 

“I have been in Ronon’s presence on more than several occasions and he appears to accept me,” Teyla said, pushing aside some dense branches from their path, “or rather he tolerates me. We’ve conversed little but Ronon is a very physical and instinctual person, actions speak louder than any words.” 

“Don’t I know it,” Lorne muttered. “I’ve still got the bruises to prove it.” 

“Major, imagine what he has been through, what he’s had to endure and what he has to now come to terms with. He has survived where all of his people have not. Would you be as you are now after being on the run for your life?” 

“You’re right, when you put it like that but…” 

Teyla interrupted him, again seeming to know what he was going to say before he did. 

“As for what kind of a person he was before he became a Runner, being on the run from the Wraith will have changed him and perhaps Atlantis can be a new beginning for him. We can help him to belong again, to be a part of something good. He can help us in our fight against the Wraith and put an end to the cullings, to help put an end to situations and missions like this.” 

“That’s if he wants to stay, Teyla. A man like him will be out for vengeance, I know he is. He took it out on me. He’s been on his own for a long time and I think he’s used to it. He might not want to stay with us. We’re so different to what he’s known.” 

“Then why do you think he changed his mind when he did try and leave Atlantis? Why do you think Ronon stayed? He wants to stay, he might not realise it just yet.”

“We still need to be cautious with him. He could have been a convicted criminal on his world; he could be a psychopathic murderer! He threatened your life, Teyla! And we just take him back to Atlantis and invite him to stay? We need to be wary of him, we need to be cautious. Surely you also understand that?” 

“Cautious I agree, Major, and Sheppard is addressing these issues but until we know more, we cannot avoid him. Major, that’s not what your people do to those in need and I have come to know that you certainly don’t either. I suspect your fight, your brawling with Ronon has put you on edge with him, so please… don’t let your distrust…or any other feelings you might have towards him hold you back.” 

Lorne was about to ask what she meant by ‘other feelings’ when Sheppard’s voice came over the radio. 

_“All right, we’re about ready to call this one. Doesn’t look like there are any survivors.”_

Teyla responded. “The cullings are getting more and more intense.” 

_“You said so yourself, too many Wraith woke up at the same time, too many mouths to feed…hands to feed.”_

“Well, we’re heading back towards the gate.” Lorne said. “Meet you there?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

It was a good one, until the Wraith dart appeared out of nowhere. 

That suddenly became a lot more important than worrying about Ronon Dex. 

\---------------

Finally, Sheppard had asked him to stay and be a part of Atlantis. The offer was tempting and he couldn’t deny that to have the comforts this city had was greatly appealing. 

Ronon looked over his shoulder and gazed directly at Daniels who had been standing over him whilst he ate. 

“I’m not sure I’d fit in here.” Ronon licked the food off his fingers, dug his hands back into the mound of mashed potato and meat on his plate and picked up a few strips of beef. 

“Well…there’s only one way to find out.” 

“Do I have to decide now, or can I finish eating?” 

“Take your time.” Sheppard scowled and handed Ronon some cutlery. “And er…try these. They work great.” 

_‘Take your time.’_

Yeah, remaining here isn’t a decision to make quickly and eating was never something he could take his time over. If he stopped too long for anything, the Wraith caught up with him so now it was habit eating the way he did. Using cutlery was something he had always deemed unnecessary except for any of his knives. It felt odd not using his hands, for the eating experience was made that much more real when it was tactile. 

Ronon guzzled down some more water from the jug and when he slammed the jug back down onto the table, suddenly there was Lorne approaching him and Sheppard. Instantly Ronon’s defences came up, his whole body tensed. Lorne put his food tray on the table and sat down. 

“Colonel.” 

“Major.” 

The Major smiled in a sickening cheery chirpy manner at Ronon and immediately started tucking into the contents of his own plate, nicely and delicately. Lorne didn’t say anything to Ronon, he gave no greeting or acknowledgement other than that one smile. He simply chewed his food with his mouth closed and actually took time to chew before swallowing. 

Lorne was savouring his food, revelling in the juicy textures of the steak making these sounds that were positively pornographic. 

“Is it that good, Major?” Sheppard nudged Lorne with his elbow. “Why don’t you two get a room?”

Ronon clutched at the water jug and the plastic handle bent under the tension of his squeezing fist. He wanted to let go and leave but instead as he continued to watch Lorne eat, he was bombarded with flashbacks of the fight in his mind. Most of the actual fight was a blur except for the part where he had Lorne pinned up against the wall.

Ronon inadvertently let out a growl. 

Their eyes met across the table, and instantly Ronon recalled the two of them back in the gym at the moment where their mouths almost touched and he could feel Lorne’s panting breath upon his face. Such recall made Ronon’s fist squeeze harder on the jug. It also brought on another reaction. 

“Easy big fella.” Sheppard wasn’t looking at Lorne and it was probably a good thing, for he might not have mistaken Ronon’s vocalising and expressions for dislike and some kind of rivalry. “Just eat.” 

Ronon grit his teeth and scowled, he grimaced and willed his body not to react to the Major, but he saw the same lust and want in those blues eyes and it only made his reaction worse. Ronon shovelled mashed potato into his mouth again and again, but nothing worked for his eyes kept seeing the naked body beneath Lorne’s uniform. He looked at Lorne, aroused and angry, and all he could do was to keep on eating to prevent him from doing anything stupid. 

It was others who left rooms and turned away from Ronon Dex. He made them leave. He intimidated them and scared them into not being around him but this Major sitting opposite him …this man had turned it all around. Lorne was making Ronon intimidated and scared, he was making Ronon want to not be around him. To be more precise, the Major was making him feel things and want things he hadn’t felt towards anyone for seven years. 

It hadn’t been long since he found out he was the last Satedan alive, his home was destroyed and now he was feeling sexually aroused towards someone? Ronon knew that all his emotions were heightened and going haywire, he was barely controlling any of them, add to the fact that he hadn’t had companionship meant that all his sexual frustration was a part of it as well. But Ronon wasn’t ready to be with someone now; he didn’t want to have anything after Melena. 

He had loved her so much; it was agony remembering how he saw her die. It was like a part of him had died too. So now his body was being aroused by this human? 

“So, come by the gym later and we can start your official training…”

Sheppard was talking to him. Ronon wasn’t listening.

 _It doesn’t have to be a full blown relationship with the guy. You don’t have to be attached to him or have feelings for him._

“We can start with hand to hand then I was thinking we can see how you handle our weapons.” 

“Can I have my gun back?” Ronon barely managed to get the words out of his mouth as it was still crammed with food. 

“Er…we’ll see. Maybe.”

 _No attachments. No getting involved. You can just fuck him._

With a mouth full of mashed potato, Ronon grunted a reply to Sheppard’s suggestion, and picked up his plate to lick the remains of gravy from it. As he sank the plate down and wiped his mouth and goatee with his arm, both Sheppard and Lorne were staring with slight disgust and bemusement. 

“I’m finished,” Ronon said. “Are you done talking to me?” 

“Er….sure.” Sheppard gave Lorne a puzzled look before nodding. “We’re done.” 

Ronon picked up his crockery and other utensils; he quickly downed the rest of the water and got to his feet to exit the mess hall. Ronon didn’t linger and as he walked away—with Daniels and Keilty following behind him—he heard a choking sound.

“Jeez, Lorne! What did you do to piss him off so much?” 

 

\----------

 

Evan had tried to do as Teyla suggested, but such an attempt to ‘get to know Ronon Dex’ failed on all levels, except one. Now he wished McKay would arrange another lecture on some Ancient device they’d discovered. 

God, the one Sheppard made him go to was awful. Lorne had fallen asleep from boredom and McKay took great offense to his snores when he was trying to explain what this mysterious new doodad actually did. It was so boring and Lorne could really go for boring right now. 

He wanted anything except feeling this hard and damned confused over Ronon. He really wished that Ronon would leave. 

An intense run helped take off the edge a little but when Lorne returned to his quarters Chuck was waiting outside. He gave Lorne a tablet and cheerily waved goodbye as he went on to deliver some more. Lorne was instantly thrilled. The latest video message from home was a godsend. 

It was always the highlight of his day to hear what his family were up to and after taking a shower and settling down on the sofa; he turned it on with a joyful smile on his face. This was going to take his mind off the Satedan. 

His sister was there, along with his mom and as always, the two boys, his nephews. They all waved and cried out hi, Lorne found himself saying hi as well as waving back and grinning, even though they couldn’t actually hear him. He’d have to record a message for them afterwards. 

His sister and mom told him what they had done in the week or months since they’d last spoke and so did Matthew, his eldest nephew. _“Uncle Evan, I stepped on gum! Oh, and I started school today!”_ Apparently the stepping on the gum was much more important news. In the end both his sister Nia and his mother had to bring up the subject (as they always did) of him not being married or even having a girlfriend.

Evan’s smile faded as his mother babbled on about his lack of love life. The two year old sitting on her lap was oblivious to what she was going on about, much preferring to chew on the USAF action figure Lorne had sent him before coming out to the Pegasus galaxy. 

Lorne skimmed through the message as his mother and sister decided to have their own conversation/argument about his life. They couldn’t have edited that out?

It was painful to remember that his family had no idea he was in another galaxy, they had no idea that he was protecting them against the Wraith. They were oblivious to the whole Stargate Program and when Lorne joined the SGC, it meant depriving his sister of someone else she loved, it meant leaving his nephews who had already lost their dad and who saw him as more of a father figure than an uncle. But they were safe, the Goa’uld were not the threat they once were, but now he was keeping them safe, he and everyone on Atlantis were protecting them from the Wraith and he would continue to do so. He missed them, though. He missed them a whole bunch. 

Lorne laughed, when during the message, the two year old boy got hold of the camera and decided to lick the lens, as Lorne now had a blurred image, behind which he could still hear his mother go on about her son’s lack of love life. 

Atlantis’s expedition had a number of very beautiful women and Lorne had been approached by a number of them. He did go on a few dates, but they never panned out. After his eight year relationship with Sarah back home had ended, (his mother kept mentioning her and asking why it ended?) it had been difficult to connect with anyone like that again. Sex was different, there had been a few female Majors in USAF he went to bed with, but as military officers, the Air Force was their life. There wasn't time for relationships. 

Now all of a sudden he was attracted to this alien man from Sateda? An alien from another planet entirely? A man? How the hell was he going to explain to his family about Ronon when he didn’t fully understand himself? 

_It’s not like you want to marry the guy or be his sweetheart or something._

_He’s a guy! Since when were you ever attracted to guys?_

Lorne couldn’t even begin to contemplate recording a message back to his family now. What he hoped would be a distraction had instead made him think about Ronon more. When the message finished, when they had all waved goodbye, Lorne turned off the tablet, got to his feet and headed for bed. 

He never reached it. 

There was a knock on the door. 

 

\---------

The young soldiers Sheppard pitted against him were nothing. He defeated them easily. 

Every weapon they had in their armoury, Ronon only had to pick them up and he could use them immediately and with great accuracy. He was also allowed to have his own gun back and that did wonders for Ronon, he felt secure with it on his hip, he was comforted with its weight and the feel of it when he held it in his hand. 

Ronon must have sparred with nearly every soldier under Sheppard’s command and he beat them all. It was invigorating to do so. Ronon had built up such energy that he felt he could go on forever and he was buzzed with an elation he hadn’t felt in some time. 

“I yield!” 

Lieutenant Kemp held up his hands in surrender as he got to his feet. The other four on the floor couldn’t quite manage it. Ronon backed away from them and looked to Sheppard who was still watching from the side. 

“Is this all they got?” Ronon asked, finding himself grinning from ear to ear. 

“Lieutenant?” Sheppard waited for Kemp’s response. 

“No more, sir.” Kemp coughed and spluttered for a moment “Seriously. I think we’re going to crawl away and die with what dignity we have left.”

“Okay, fine.” Sheppard patted Kemp on his shoulder, who winced. “That’s it for now.” 

“Colonel? We’ve all gone through this, how come Major Lorne isn’t taking part in the training of the new guy?” complained one of the younger men. 

“Better yet, why aren’t those three taking part?” asked another, pointing at Chang, Keilty and Daniels. The three men just looked smug. 

“They're exempt and Lorne’s got a note from the doc.”

“What about you, sir?” asked Kemp. 

Ronon grinned. _Yeah, what about Sheppard?_

“I’m in charge.” Sheppard smirked. “So stop complaining and let’s call it a night. Stop by at the infirmary if you need to.” 

Ronon didn’t need to be told twice. That was the end of the training for the day, so he grabbed a towel and quickly exited the gym, knowing that Chang, Daniels and Keilty were following, and laughing at the beaten down men still moaning on the floor.

“Hell, I’m beat just watching them get beat!” Keilty said. “I can’t wait for the others to take over our shift. I need my bed!” 

The other two yawned and nodded. 

“Hey, Dex…you took it a lot easier on them than you did on the Major,” Daniels said to Ronon. “How come? Do you hate him? Because if you do, he doesn’t deserve it. Major Lorne is a good guy…he’s respected by everyone here on Atlantis, so you should give him some slack.” 

“You in love with him or something?” Ronon snarled. 

Keilty and Chang laughed, though Ronon didn’t find it funny considering the thoughts he had been having about their SO. Daniels protested about the comment, but he eventually went silent as all three of them again concentrated on following Ronon. Now the mention of Lorne made the heightened buzz from his workout more intense. Again, his emotions came bubbling to just below the surface, the anger towards the Wraith, his grief, everything threatened to make him lash out, and the last thing he wanted to do was take it out on these three. 

Ronon just quickened his pace and headed towards the living habitat. His guards tried to keep up, but just like it had been before when he attempted to escape through the gate, it was easy to lose them in the maze of corridors and give them the slip. Ronon knew that they would tell Sheppard and that they would start searching for him, he knew that he had probably just ended a good thing before it had even started. 

Right now, Ronon didn’t care. After an intense work out like that, there was only one thing he could do and only one person he wanted to do it with. During his few days of being here, it hadn’t been that hard to get information that he needed so he knew the exact location of Major Lorne’s quarters. 

He knocked on the door and when it opened, he was greeted by a sight that nearly broke the last of his resistance. He didn’t hesitate. 

“How long?” he growled as he barged his way into Lorne’s room, pushing the man up against the wall with his body. 

Oh god…

Lorne had showered, his skin and hair was still wet and a subtle but arousing artificial aroma permeated from him that made Ronon shove Lorne harder. Ronon grabbed his face and buried his own into Lorne’s neck, nipping at his flesh. “How long has it been for you?”

\----

Ronon didn’t have to know that it had been more than a few months since Lorne had last had sex. 

Actually Lorne couldn’t verbally respond to Ronon’s question, for the Satedan had tightened his grip on his face and his other hand had pushed down beneath the waistband of his sleep pants, his fingers digging into Lorne’s hip. The only response Lorne could manage was to gyrate and buck his body against Ronon’s and it screamed _‘it’s been too long’._

Lorne grabbed onto a solid brick wall of a back and as he felt the graze of Ronon’s hungry mouth against his neck, as the warm tingling shudder ran down Lorne’s back, he breathed in and tasted sweat and leather. Lorne groaned and tightened his hold.

Ronon dropped his hand and grabbed Lorne’s neck, squeezing it whilst his other hand slipped down under Lorne’s pants and took hold of him. Lorne gasped through the tight grip on his cock and neck and he tried to pry the hold off of his neck but Ronon simply nuzzled at his hair and eventually dropped both his hands away and placed them on Lorne’s hips. He proceeded to smell and nip along Lorne’s jaw and neck, tasting and sampling him with a craving hunger. 

Lorne tried to kiss him, he tried to catch Ronon’s roaming mouth but his teeth only caught Ronon’s bottom lip and the Satedan pulled away, startled as if adverse or afraid of being kissed. Ronon stared at him, Lorne saw what was a dark angry flash in those brown eyes moments before they glazed over with lust, a yearning that he was barely keeping control on. Ronon’s hands now nervously rubbed at Lorne through the material of his pants and across the lines of his hip bones. Ronon wanted to do more, every breath he took and every touch of Lorne was to show him how much Ronon wanted him. Ronon took it a stage further when he scooped up one of Lorne’s hands and placed it firmly between his own legs. Lorne felt through the leather that the Satedan was very ready. 

Then, all of a sudden, he stopped. Ronon took their hands away and again just stared at Lorne, but this time Evan knew what it was about. He was giving Lorne a chance to say no, he was waiting for permission to continue. Lorne nodded and Ronon slipped his hand beneath his pants again, but grabbed hold of Evan’s ass. Ronon leaned in close to his ear and bit hard on Lorne’s lobe. 

“This is going to hurt. I don’t intend to be gentle with you.” 

“Yeah…I know, you don’t have to be.” 

“Last chance.” Ronon backed away slightly, but his hand still squeezed hard at Lorne’s ass, a single finger stroking along his crack. “Want me to stop?” 

“No. Don’t.” 

Lorne closed his eyes as the motions of Ronon’s hand against him made him shudder and he thought his legs would give out, but instead he stood firm and began to tear his hands at Ronon’s clothes. Lorne was stripped as well. Their forceful hands literally tore the clothes off each other and the tattered remains were forgotten about, along with the weapons Ronon had concealed on his person. The gun, its holster and the knives dropped to the floor and were kicked aside and out of the way. 

Lorne barely had time to take in the full ripped tone of Ronon’s nakedness, for he was hauled up into strong arms and carried to the bed, where he was flung harshly onto the mattress. 

He got one last fleeting look at Ronon’s entirety, his eyes fixated in both surprise and desire on Ronon as he ran his hand over his cock, before Lorne was then roughly turned onto his front and Ronon straddled over his legs. 

Ronon wasn’t lying when he said that he wasn’t going to be gentle. Rough calloused hands and nails scraped over Lorne’s body, they latched onto his hips, dragged Lorne to his knees and as Ronon began to hungrily bite across his back and shoulders, he took hold of Lorne and began to entice him more, his palm gliding and squeezing his shaft. The motions of Ronon’s hand was slow at first, Ronon’s thumb and fingers sometimes skimmed across the sensitive glans, making Lorne judder, before increasing speed, forcing more stammering, gasping breaths from Lorne. 

Lorne shook, he choked and panted, he clawed at the pillow beneath him, and he scrunched it up so it would muffle his sounds whilst Ronon worked on his cock relentlessly. The combination of hard bites to his back and the throbbing waves of pleasure in his dick felt different than anything he had experienced before. 

Then Ronon stopped biting him. There was a slight shock as a mouthful of spit hit his ass, the wetness trailed down to his anus with Ronon’s finger guiding it and rubbing it. Then there was a pang of pain, of a single finger sinking inside him, forcing through the tightness of his muscle. Lorne shuddered, his legs wobbled and wouldn’t stop as Ronon pushed and pulled it inside of him. Lorne moaned with both agony and ecstasy, he trembled and cried out into the pillow as one finger became two, then three, each stretching him wider before pumping into him with a furied pace. 

It hurt, oh god it hurt, but he liked it. Lorne grinned, he actually found himself grinning through the blissful new pain and even though his body was spasming, he thrust back into Ronon’s fingers as much as he could. Ronon was saying something, they were Satedan, alien words growled behind him every time Lorne thrust, every time they synched and found the rhythm.

Lorne had not expected it to ever feel like this. However, when Lorne tried to look round, even to reach behind to touch Ronon, Ronon shoved his face down.

“Don’t look.” 

Lorne’s legs were pushed apart, a wet spit-covered hand teased at his ass again, circling the fluctuating muscle before Ronon, without warning, pushed his cock in, hard. 

The blinding pain made Evan scream and his eyes screwed shut as tears streamed down his face when he felt something tear. More pain shot through his body, but Ronon didn’t stop, he kept on thrusting, slamming deep into Lorne with an aggression that Lorne couldn’t manage. Ronon faltered a couple of times, he stopped, gasped for breath and clambered for hold as sweat simply poured off them both. When Ronon started again, it was just as furied as before. 

Lorne didn’t know how long they lasted. He only recalled being dragged up, his hands forced to steady them both against the wall, he recalled the alien words that came from Ronon’s mouth and the biting kisses across his neck and shoulders. He felt everything when he came, spilling over his and Ronon’s hands.  
He remembered falling as Ronon climaxed inside him, strong arms and legs enveloped around him, squeezing and jerking as the Satedan continued to empty into his ass. 

Then everything else was a blur. Lorne was lost in a drowsy pleasured aftermath, breathless and aching and he continued to shake for a while oblivious to everything until Ronon pulled out of him. The Satedan’s extraction caused more waves of pain and he felt some of what Ronon had put into him come back out, it was all so…it felt so….he couldn’t even begin to describe the experience as his eyes began to flutter shut. In a way he knew that he had been used. Ronon had emptied more into him than just his come. Lorne had felt all his lust, rage, his guilt and anguish…everything Ronon had bottled up had come out here, he had used Lorne to vent. 

Strangely enough, Lorne didn’t feel bad for it. It wasn’t that much different from the fight they had in the gym…but this, this had been much more pleasurable. 

“Holy…..fuck….that was…” Lorne began to doze, he couldn’t finish his sentence. 

He didn’t notice Ronon get up from bed. He didn’t hear him collect his things or get dressed, but he was snapped out of his drowsy aftermath when he heard the door shut. 

Ronon had gone. 

That was okay, he hadn’t expected Ronon to stay behind for hugs. 

\-------

It was more than a shock. 

It was utter astonishment to nearly barge into Ronon Dex. (Well, at least now the search could be called off, Sheppard could be informed.) The half-naked, sweaty Ronon Dex wanted to get past, clearly he was heading back to his own quarters, but she couldn’t move out of his way. She was captivated by the sight of him. 

However, what was more than obvious was that the man had just had sex. He smelt of it, it permeated off of him. It was a smell that simply oozed male. He was wiping his hands and bare torso with the tattered and saturated remains of what had been his top but he had just come from Major Lorne’s quarters. That wasn’t right, was it? Ronon and Major Lorne?

She had to breathe in again. There was no feminine scent anywhere on him, no perfume or sweet scented shower gel. He smelt of male…he smelt of Lorne.

 _Oh wow!_

“What are you looking at?” growled the Satedan. 

“Oh! Nothing! Nothing at all! I was just…..passing through!” 

Ronon snarled and barged his way past, walking not so much with the confident swagger that he normally did, but with wobbling legs. 

“Oh my god.” She didn’t know whether to smile or be concerned about what she had just seen, but in the end she knocked on Lorne’s door and did so for quite a while until there was a response. 

The door opened again and there was a very shagged out Lorne, wrapped in a sweat soaked (and was that blood too?) bed sheet and he could barely stand. He was literally clinging to the door frame to keep himself upright. The pleasured smile on his face turned into an annoyed frown. 

“Are you okay, sir?” 

“Sir? What the hell do you want?” 

“I was concerned, I just saw…”

“McKay, I’m tired…I need to get some sleep, so unless there’s an emergency, if the Wraith are attacking, I’d really like to get back to bed.” 

“Oh, Major Lorne, sir! It’s not McKay it’s me…Cad---!”

“Goodnight, McKay.”

The door shut quickly and Laura Cadman was left standing in the corridor feeling quite overwhelmed. What had just happened between her superior officer and the alien was huge, it was unexpected too and she really didn’t know what to do about it. 

For the moment, she was going to keep quiet. That was the rule for the military concerning these matters, but at the same time she couldn’t help but feel so happy and excited for the Major. Dex was a fine specimen of man and she didn’t blame him. 

No. She would say and do nothing but wait until Lorne was ready to come out. 

It was a good thing she had taken over McKay’s body for the evening, if it had been the Canadian who witnessed it…there would have been trouble. 

She also wasn’t going to mention to McKay the rather discomforting hard on his body had now because of Dex. Or maybe she should? Just to tease him? He didn’t have to know his body reacted because of her attraction. Did he? 

Oh this was such a fun night!


	3. A Scotsman, an Athosian, a Canadian, a Botanist and an Explosives Expert.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened afterwards... how does any of it make sense?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter people. I hadn't forgotten... but right now I'm in complete Avengers frenzy due to Age of Ultron coming out on the 23rd of April! Weeeee! 
> 
> Anyhoos. Hopes you likes. Do enjoy. Mistakes are all mine. 
> 
> \------

Ronon had made it back to his quarters without being seen by anyone other than McKay. 

That night he dreamed of Melena and in the dream she had been disappointed and angry at Ronon for what he put Lorne through. _“It’s not like you, Ronon! How could you do that?”_ He saw her death, the fires engulfing her again and again and her screams broke the dream and his sleep with moments of him waking in a cold sweating terror. He tossed and turned, he thrashed, he kicked out and in the morning woke in the foulest mood.  
He felt like death. He felt sick to his stomach. 

Ronon got dressed however, and wondered whether he would stay on Atlantis after what he did to Lorne. He might not even get to stay if Sheppard or Weir found out. Even if they didn’t, Dr Weir could still say no. 

When he opened the door, the Colonel himself was standing right there. The three Marines were just a little bit further on down the corridor, keeping a watchful eye. 

John Sheppard was trying to look angry, more so than he actually was. Ronon was sure Sheppard didn’t know about Lorne, but he was certainly not happy about Ronon ditching his guards. 

When Sheppard looked up at Ronon, he was startled for a moment, taking note of the dark cloud of doom and gloom that was emanating from the man and the clear hate and disgust on his face. 

“Ah. So you’re back then.” The sarcasm was not lost on Ronon. 

“Looks like it.” 

“Where did you go last night?” 

_I went round to your XO’s quarters and fucked him to within an inch of his life. I tore him up._

“I went for a run and your men couldn’t keep up,” Ronon said out loud. “I heard you were looking for me.” 

“Pretty much. Look, Ronon… I really want you to stay here and be a part of this Atlantis crew. I want you on my team, if you decide that you want to stay.”

“You said that to me already,” Ronon growled. 

“Okay, no more pitch sales. Ronon, until I’ve spoken with Weir, these three guys will continue to escort you, it’s part of security, you understand. We’ve also got a slight problem going on with McKay and Cadman and until that’s sorted and until Elizabeth makes the decision, could you remain with them? Could you not run off without them?” 

“Sure,” Ronon grunted in reply. 

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” 

“Whatever.”

Whilst Ronon could easily slip away from the three men, he wasn’t going to do so. It would be best to have them keeping an eye on him, they could stop him from doing anything more about Lorne. 

Keilty, Daniels and Chang were not bad and certainly far from incompetent at what they did. In fact, they reminded Ronon of a few of his friends back home. Sometimes with their little comments or jibes at one another, they reminded him too much. Maybe that was just another reason why he wanted to get away from them in the first place.

But that’s what a new start on Atlantis would mean…making new friends, moving on from the old. 

Ronon felt angry for even contemplating forgetting his old friends, and making new ones was the last thing he felt he wanted to do. So as Sheppard walked off in one direction, talking to someone on the radio, Ronon stormed off towards the gym, and the guards, as always, obediently followed. 

Ronon had no idea that when he saw Teyla in the gym, when they sparred, it was the start of a friendship he had never before experienced. 

 

\---------

 

Everything hurt. 

His ass hurt, his knees…pretty much every part of him hurt. Lorne saw the red bite marks on his back and across his shoulders in the mirror, and when he showered, he realised that he had forgotten two very important things.

There was no option. He had to report to someone. 

There were no off world missions today. Today, Lorne had some performance evaluations to do, along with firearms testing with some of the younger military personnel and some weapons training to give to some of the civilian personnel. He wished he hadn’t volunteered to do the weapons training now as it ached to walk and he knew that everyone was going to keep asking him about it. Ronon had fucked him up pretty good. 

Lorne smiled briefly as he remembered last night, of Ronon’s ferocity and the feel of the Satedan on and in him. It had been one of the most painful, yet highly pleasurable experiences of his life, but he knew it wasn’t the same for Ronon. He was hurting in a different way and Lorne curiously found himself hoping that he had helped Ronon in some way and that he was feeling better for it, even just a little bit. 

Never did he think he would feel that for Ronon. He never expected the two of them to have sex in the way that they did, but they did. All that initial distrust he held towards Ronon, it was still there, however he was conflicted with his thoughts of the younger man, his feelings were in turmoil. 

Lorne did consider calling Ronon, they would have to talk, but he decided against it for the moment. He had to report last night. There was no other choice. 

As he walked cautiously out of his quarters and towards the infirmary, there was only one person who could deal with this situation with tact and decorum. 

Hopefully, nothing further would come of this delicate and rather bizarre occurrence. 

So this was it. Thankfully there was no one else around, only Beckett, sitting at the computer. 

“Hey, Doc. Have…have you got a sec?” 

Carson Beckett looked up from his computer console and smiled cheerfully. He had probably already had a hearty breakfast and several cups of coffee, which was why he was so bubbly and vibrant. 

“Good morning, Major! Certainly!” Beckett beckoned to a chair next to his, though his cheerfulness faded as he observed Lorne walking with extreme discomfort to the bed. 

Sitting down was painful too. Lorne eased himself down onto an examination bed and tried to hide the grimace on his face, but he failed miserably. He couldn’t keep still, or be comfortable. 

“You havnae been in another fight, have you?” Carson said sternly. Lorne shook his head and Beckett’s smile came back. “Good. So, how can I help you?” 

Lorne scratched the back of his head and tried to fixate his gaze anywhere except directly at Beckett. This really wasn’t going to be easy. 

“It’s quite personal, Doc.” Lorne said, focusing on the eye examination chart behind Carson’s head. “I don’t know where to start.” 

“Well, the beginning is usually the best place to start and for the record, I’m a doctor Major Lorne, not a gossip. Whatever you have to tell me will and always be in the strictest confidence.” 

Lorne did have every confidence in Carson, he was one of the best doctors Lorne had ever come across but he couldn’t shake the nagging fear that Sheppard, Weir—even Caldwell-- would find out. It suddenly dawned on Lorne that he could actually be sent home to Earth and be booted from the Air Force if this got out. 

Lorne rubbed his face and tried to calm down, but his hands continued to shake. 

He fleetingly looked at Carson who appeared very concerned now, he was worried but he was ready to listen. A few minutes went by and Lorne simply couldn’t find the words, he couldn’t form them appropriately without it sounding ridiculous or strange. Thankfully, as the silence lingered on, Carson didn’t pressurise him or force him to say anything, he patiently waited for Lorne to speak in his own time. 

Eventually, Lorne managed to find his voice. 

“I had sex last night.” 

_Simple, to the point. Well done, Evan._

Carson grinned. “Well, good for you, Major. It’s nice to know that people are still enjoying themselves despite what’s going on in this neck of the universe.” 

“It was unprotected.” 

“Ah.” Carson nodded and leaned back in his chair, ready to give some kind of medical lecture. Instead he scanned through Lorne’s file on the computer. “Well, I’ll forgo any kind of a telling off about that, so let’s see…your last physical examination said you were in perfect shape, no concerns apart from the injuries you sustained in the fight the other day. You’ve not had any sexual transmitted diseases or other problems, correct?”

“Yeah, I never had any, and I’ve always used protection in the past.”

“Well we don’t need to worry too much, if that is the case. I’ll give you an examination and treat you accordingly.” 

“That’s great, Doc.”

“I see that last night has resulted in some other injuries. Get a little rough, did we?” 

“Yeah, last night was…heated.”

“Well, y’might want to tone down the heat next time, Major, just a wee bit.”

“Next time? Uh, sure. Thanks. I appreciate anything you can do.” 

“Not a problem! It’s what I’m here for! Now, what is also important, is you get the young lady you were with last night to come and see me. She might be in need of some medical attention too?”

_Oh god…here’s the difficult bit._

“That won’t be possible.” 

Carson huffed. “Were you as rough with her as she was with you? Then she might well need some first aid, for sure. As for the intercourse itself, did you ejaculate inside her?” 

Lorne went bright red in response. Of course Carson would ask these kind of questions and be perfectly comfortable and fine with it. He wasn’t at all embarrassed at using such words. 

“Obviously with no condom or any other kind of protection and if she’s not on the pill, pregnancy is likely so, we need to be on the safe side.” Carson wagged a finger at Lorne, grinning that likeable Beckett smile. “I’m sure you don’t want to become a father just yet, right?” 

_Just tell him!_

“Doctor Beckett, I didn’t…there is no chance of pregnancy, really.” 

“There is every chance, son, when you have unprotected sex. Heck, even with the best condoms, they’re not 100%!” 

“I didn’t have sex with a woman.” 

The room went suddenly silent. 

Carson opened his mouth to say something and only a tiny little squeak of an “oh!” came out. Lorne immediately felt the sickening churn of fear in his stomach and at that moment he dearly wished that he could get up from this bed and run out of the infirmary, forgetting that he ever came here and this conversation never happened. God, he felt like such a fool. 

But then this wasn’t the worst bit. 

“So…you had sex with a man,” Carson said at last, his voice higher and slightly squeakier than normal. “You’re right, pregnancy is not an issue.”

“Yeah.” Lorne had to physically turn away, the embarrassment was too much and even though Carson was a doctor, Lorne didn’t want to see or know how disappointed and repulsed Carson was. 

“Major… Evan, you have seriously nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.” Carson’s voice was softer and very reassuring and it finally made Lorne look at him. The sincerity in the doctor's eyes was hugely comforting. “It’s okay to be gay, it’s who you are! I have a friend from medical school who is gay. It’s perfectly acceptable in this day and age, so please forgive my initial reaction, I was surprised, that’s all. I didn’t think you were.”

“Doc….I’m not gay.”

“Oh!” Carson’s expression changed from friendly reassurance to shocked and appalled and it caught Lorne off guard. “Did this…did someone on Atlantis… was this done to you without your consent? Were you raped, Major?” 

“No! No! Hell no!” Lorne felt disgusted at the thought of it. Ronon could have quite easily taken him without asking for permission, but he didn’t. “I mean… we both consented! We… very consented!”

Carson was greatly relieved as well. That smile came back. “That’s a relief.”

_Yeah it is._

Lorne took in a deep breath and the nervous words that followed blurted out at speed.

“Look, Doctor Beckett, I… I don’t make a habit of talking about my sex life with others, unless it’s with my closest friend or to the person I’m having, or wanting to have sex with and even then it’s not in graphic detail!”

“Of course, I understand, but I am a professional medical doctor. There is nothing that would embarrass me and you shouldn’t be either! Please continue.” 

_Do I have to? Can’t you just tend to my wounds and leave it at that?_

_That’s not gonna happen Lorne. Just get it over and done with._

“My buddies often teased me, Doc. They said I never had a type, I never settled on one particular kind of woman; blond, red head or brunette, the slim or shapely. They said I couldn’t make up my mind. In some ways they were right, but I thought of it as appreciating beauty in different ways. It was the same, not just for women, but guys. I did acknowledge that some men were… good looking, I thought it plenty of times but I never said a thing. I have always thought my appreciation of other men was in the same vein as how women complimented each other. Y’know? Women are always doing that to their girlfriends. They all say how beautiful or stunning… heck how sexy they look and how that dress or whatever makes their ass and breasts look great. Guys generally don’t do that and most certainly don’t think like that. There’s this unwritten rule or so they say so that’s what I told myself even when I joined the Air Force. You’re not attracted to other guys, Evan. You just appreciate a good looking man and that’s it! Yeah, I was kidding myself, wasn’t I?”

“Lorne… it doesn’t matter if you are attracted to other men. The real point of it is, did you enjoy last night?” 

_Oh hell yeah._ Lorne didn’t need to say anything further for his slightly goofy one sided smirk told Carson everything. 

“Then I don’t see your problem, Major!” Carson beamed like a 1,000watt bulb. “There’s nothing wrong with feeling and having pleasure with a man or woman. If there is one person who makes you feel good and wants to share themselves with you, then that’s great! Don’t resist something like this. Don’t be worried or ashamed.”

“It’s not as simple as that. I only have sex with people I like and get on well with, that I’m strongly attracted to. Yeah my first time with a guy was great… it was different than what I’m used to, but my problem is, I don’t like the guy!”

“You don’t like the guy? Why on Earth do you not like him?”

“He’s…I don’t know! I don’t trust him!” 

“Is he good looking?” 

Lorne momentarily phased out for a moment before Carson waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention.

“Huh?” 

“Is he good looking? Are you attracted to him?”

“Doc! What the hell?” 

“It’s a reasonable question, Major!”

“Well… he’s very… I uh… yeah, I am, I guess.”

“Major! Two people who don’t like each other, who are fierce rivals, can have strong physical attractions towards one another. Sex isn’t always about liking and loving the other person. ”

“Again, Doc… it’s not that simple.” 

“Aye lad, it’s not simple, especially with years of cultural and social taboos. People have been brought up to think homosexuality is wrong, it was unlawful for years and years, and such views and opinions on it will be difficult to overcome, especially concerning your own discovery.”

“I’ve never hated people who are gay, Doc. My mom never brought me up like that, but everything is different when you find out… when you think… okay shit, yeah, when find out you’re gay yourself!”

“Aye, I understand, but laddie, it will work out because now it’s changing, people are changing, the laws have. It will take time to come to grips with this part of your sexuality, I know, and Doctor Heightmeyer and I are here for you, we will be available to help you if you want to talk to either one of us. Though Kate is far better at talking than I am.”

“You’re not so bad with the words, Doc.” 

“Why thank you,” Carson bowed in gratitude. “Now, I’d like to take a look at your injuries. Whilst I do so I will ask you some… personal questions, which are necessary. I’ll try and be as brief as possible, okay? Hopefully I won’t embarrass you too much. Take off your shirt and let’s see what…oh my!”

Carson couldn’t help but be surprised at the state of Lorne’s back when he took his shirt off. The bite and nail marks were a sight to see. Ronon had been very thorough. 

So as Carson treated the injuries, he asked Lorne more questions, pretty routine ones it seemed for Carson, but each one was more difficult to answer, delving into Lorne’s sexual background. 

After today, it was pretty much a given that Lorne wouldn’t be able to see Carson around the city without feeling more than a tiny bit awkward after this conversation. He had shared a lot with Carson, more than he had ever told anyone. 

“It’s all right, Evan. Really,” Carson said. “I know how uncomfortable this is for you, but you’ve done the hardest part by coming to see me and talking to me about it. Not many people would do that. They’d ignore it all completely and hope it would go away. We’re dealing with this here and now, that’s what’s important. Now, I just have a few more questions to ask and then we’re done. So, from what you told me, your partner was the only one who did the penetrating. You didn’t go inside him?”

“No.” Lorne squirmed and looked again at the eye chart instead of Carson.

“Okay, did he orgasm…did he ejaculate whilst inside you?”

Lorne grimaced at the word and nodded. 

“And no contraception was used?”

“I said we didn’t use any, didn’t I?” he snapped a little too harshly at that “Sorry.” 

“It's all right, lad. You and this other man… this was your first time, you weren’t in an already established relationship?” 

“No. We aren’t best friends either. Look, it just happened. We didn’t think, we acted. There’s no relationship beyond that.”

“Thank you, Major. That’s everything I need information-wise, but I must see your partner. I need to give him a check-up too.” 

“I… er… I don’t think he’ll like it.” 

“I can talk to him if you’d like.” 

“I don’t know… I’m not sure how he’ll react to any of this.”

“Have you spoken to him? Have you two discussed what happened?” 

“No. He left after we finished. We didn’t snuggle, Doc. We did what we did and he left. I haven’t seen him since.”

“Oh. Okay. Fine, but I will need to see him for that check-up, for both your sakes. I could make it an order?”

“No, there’s no need for that, you can call him.”

“Good.” Carson beamed an even bigger smile and proceeded to patch up some of the deeper bites. “Though if you don’t mind me asking, Major Lorne, do you…do you plan on seeing this lad again? Do you think you can start something more meaningful with him?” 

“A meaningful relationship, with… him? Oh no! It was only sex, besides there were some conflicting issues and we really wouldn’t tolerate each other… also he might not be on Atlantis much longer.”

“He’s going back to Earth? Oh, I am sorry.” 

“Oh don’t be, Doc, I’m not besotted or crushing on the guy. I might be relieved if he leaves actually.” 

“Still, this man was your first. Might there be some connection beyond the physical that you’ve both missed?” 

“Oh there’s something, Doc, don’t think it’s anything healthy though. Also, he’s not going back to Earth because he’s never been to Earth.” 

There was a smash and shatter as some equipment fell to the floor. 

_Subtle, Carson._

Carson was more than a little flushed and his face contorted a little as he tried to and very quickly realised who it was Lorne had been with. 

“You and Ronon Dex?” 

Lorne nodded and had to help Carson steady himself. 

“Ronon? It was with Ronon? My, that’s quite… well it certainly explains your injuries and issues problem, but this also changes things. Major, you do realise the SGC have strict policies about sexual intercourse with other human or non-human races we’ve not encountered, which includes Ronon’s?” 

“Yeah, I know. It was another reason I had to come to you. This makes things more complicated, doesn’t it?”

“I’ve not had a full medical history from Ronon, or more specifically what illnesses he’s had in his life. Now that you two have had sexual relations without protection and Ronon not being cleared, it changes things a lot. I will have to inform Elizabeth.” 

“You do?” Lorne nodded. “Of course you do.” 

“Those are the rules I’m afraid, but I will ask Elizabeth to keep it confidential, unless there is an absolute need for anyone else to know.”

“I understand.” 

“Also, you will have to contact me if you experience any other or new symptoms and if you and Ronon do decide to continue this… if he remains on Atlantis, please use contraception.” 

“I really don’t think it will happen again, it was a one off. I’m sorry.” 

“No need to be sorry, lad, just be careful in the future.”

 _Careful, with Ronon Dex? That was easier to say than do._ Lorne didn’t think he could be.

 

\----------

 

Ronon had gone to apologise. 

It was strange, he felt compelled to do so for Teyla after throwing her to the floor like that in the sparring session, but didn’t feel like apologising for how rough he was on Lorne. The Athosian leader was a magnificent sparring partner, a real challenge, but he thought he had gone too far. Sheppard had too, which was why he pulled the knife and put it to Ronon’s throat. 

He had gone to her quarters only intending to apologise and leave, but they ended up talking, or rather Teyla had.

The few days he had spent on Atlantis, when he was in Teyla’s company, he always did feel comfortable around her, probably because they were both from this galaxy and they had lost their people to the Wraith. 

_“Atlantis is the best hope for us all. I suspect you see it too, or you would have already left.”_

He had tried to leave. The instinct to flee and run, to get off Atlantis, resulted in the escape attempt but now he listened to what she had to say, he knew she was right. If the Wraith were ever to be stopped, this was the best place to be, these were the people who could actually help rid this galaxy of them. They could help him avenge his people. 

How long would he last here? How long could he abide by their rules? Ronon figured he would adapt as he always did, but doubt, confusion and anxiety about a lot of things wasn’t helping him to settle and Lorne was one of those reasons. 

What Ronon did was supposed to be just a means to vent his grief and pain, the conflict he had with Lorne was strong and the sex had been completely unexpected. He hoped that this—whatever it was—with Lorne would go away and if he stayed on Atlantis, the Major would simply be another face in the crowd of humans, he would be forgotten. 

_Yeah, right._

“They are good people, Ronon,” Teyla said after a long period of silence. She had been watching him closely, scrutinising every expression that he was making “They are worthy of our trust and friendship. I know you’re feeling lost and without purpose now, but John Sheppard is sincere and believes that you would fit in here. I believe it too.” 

“If you say so.” Ronon shrugged his shoulders and then leaned forward to rest his arms upon his knees. “But you don’t know me, Teyla, you don’t know who I am. How can Sheppard just take me on, or even consider letting me stay here? You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“No. We don’t, but you can tell us if you wish. We’ve seen and experienced the atrocities the Wraith have caused, we know what they can do to people, but before the Wraith attacked Sateda? Were you a criminal? A murder or rapist? Did you kill or hurt children?” 

“No!” Ronon frowned, disgusted. “I wasn’t a criminal… well, I got into more than my fair share of fights when I was younger…”

“I can imagine,” Teyla joked.

“But I never did anything like that… never.”

“Good. Then who were you, Ronon Dex?”

He took a deep breath. He was extremely reluctant to tell anything of his past, but Ronon leaned back and looked Teyla directly in the eye.

“I was a solider. I held one of the most honourable ranks of Specialist. It is a title, a name, held by very few. I had men under my command, friends, people I trusted with my life. I… I was going to be married, I was in love. She…she was a nurse and gods, everything about her made me a better person. We had our whole lives planned out ahead. We were going to have children, but the Wraith came and everything is gone now. My title means nothing, the woman I love is dead, my family... my sisters, their children, are dead and I feel like I’ve been ripped in two. Everyone I know, everyone I love is gone.”

Teyla reached out to him, her hand touched against his leg. 

“They’re not gone, Ronon, not if you remember them, keep them in your thoughts. You should never forget who you were or where you come from, your traditions and teachings. They are not asking you to forget, they… and myself, only want for you to be a part of something again, Ronon. Join Sheppard’s team, with me and Doctor McKay…” both of them scowled but then smiled at the mention of the Canadian. “Join the fight against the Wraith.” 

“With you?” Ronon smiled again. “Sure. You fight good.” 

Teyla bowed her head graciously. “Thank you, as do you.” 

“Do all your people have the same training as you?” 

“Some. Those who wish to learn. Most do as it is a means to keep strong against the Wraith. Would you like to go to the mainland and meet them? I would be honoured to introduce you.”

 _Yes._

_No._

It’s not fair that Sateda couldn’t be saved but the Athosians were. His people should be there on the mainland too, or some other world taking shelter from the Wraith. They should be alive. Ronon wouldn’t want to be around the Athosians much, he’d resent being amongst them, knowing that they were spared, that they lived and his people did not. 

Things in life were never fair. It wasn’t the Athosians fault the Wraith killed his people, for they had suffered too. Who hadn’t? 

Ronon smiled softly, sadly and rested his hand on top of hers. “Yeah. I’d like to. Sure, okay.” 

Teyla returned his smile. 

Her hand felt nice there, it was a soothing and gentle hold and very calming. She always had this effect on him when they were together yet it was nothing compared to when Melena touched him, or even when Lorne did, there was no excited spark or aroused tingle on his skin. 

“I will speak with Doctor Weir later then, Ronon,” Teyla said rising up to her feet. Ronon did the same. “We can ask her if one of the pilots can take us to the mainland in a puddle jumper.” 

Her smile suddenly turned, it was different. There was a deviousness in her eye and her smile was now a smirk, teasing and mischievous. Ronon tensed. 

“Perhaps we can ask Major Lorne to join us?” Teyla asked, tilting her head slightly to one side and fluttering her eyes. 

If it had been anyone else to have said that, they would have surely been thrown up against that wall and throttled for that remark. Ronon did, however, snarl and got right up against Teyla, leering down at her in the most menacing manner he could muster. Teyla stood her ground and matched his stare, though with a trace of her smirk just catching at the corner of her mouth. 

Ronon grit his teeth. 

She knows. She knows what happened between them. How? Had Lorne told her? That man is going to wish he never said a damned thing. 

After several minutes glaring at her and realising that she wasn’t going to back down, Ronon moved away and sank heavily down onto the chair he had perched himself on before. Teyla sat down onto her bed and waited for him to explain, to say something. 

He wasn’t sure exactly what he now felt towards the man. At the time he hadn’t felt anything towards Lorne, he was there, convenient to help him get over his grief, if only for a while. If Lorne had said something to Teyla, Ronon was going to be more than mad. It went without saying they weren’t going to mention what happened last night, so why the fuck had he? 

“How…?” The rest of the question stuck in the back of his throat. 

“I have observed things, your body language, your mannerisms. There is an attraction between you and Major Lorne, at its basic and most primal level. I can see it in your eyes. I’ve seen the way he looks at you too.” 

_Attraction? Really?_ Maybe a little, but for Ronon there was nothing beyond that. 

“Did Lorne come to you?” The anger was raging inside him. “He told you about what we did?” 

“What you did…?” Teyla shook her head but she knew exactly what he meant. “Ronon, Lorne told me nothing about the two of you or what happened after the mission to Thenora. When we were looking for survivors, we merely talked about you, of who you were before you became a Runner. He had concerns about you being allowed on Atlantis without knowing about you. He was being…cautious. The Major said nothing about being attracted to you, but now that I think about how he has been, it’s obvious. I assume then that after the altercation you had in the gym, the two of you have coupled?”

“Yeah, we….coupled.” Ronon didn’t like that word. His face scrunched up with disgust, but then he couldn’t exactly think of a nicer way of saying ‘fucked’. “It wasn’t…I wasn’t…I hurt him, a lot. I wasn’t gentle and I couldn’t be. He…” Ronon couldn’t continue. 

He had hurt Lorne, but the guy hadn’t wanted him to stop, he didn’t protest or complain. Lorne took everything Ronon gave him. Such roughness wasn’t always so consensual, but Lorne had accepted. 

Ronon was relieved a little, when Teyla didn’t ask any more questions or push for details of what happened between them. It seemed she already understood why Ronon did what he did with Lorne and wasn’t demanding anything more from him. She simply sat with Ronon and after a long while, there being nothing but silence, she spoke. 

“Do you want to see Evan again?” 

“Not really.”

“How can you be sure, Ronon? At the very least you should see him and let him know that he wasn’t used.” 

But he was. Wasn’t he? Ronon had used him. 

“I suppose.” If he must. 

“My doors are always open for you, Ronon,” Teyla said as once again they got to their feet. The door to her quarters opened and the three marines stood to attention “If you need any further advice?”

“Thanks.”

“You are most welcome.”

Ronon noticed the way the three marines were trying not to smile as he walked past them. They didn’t have a clue. 

He now had some time to kill before he found out whether Weir would allow him to be a part of Atlantis and to be on Sheppard’s team. He thought about going to the gym again, but instead he found himself walking around the city, taking in the sights, lost in thought of his home as the bitter nip of wind in the air stung his skin.

Later, when the sun was disappearing over the distant horizon, smearing colours of red and orange across the sky, Ronon was interrupted from his thoughts when Chang called out to him. 

“Yo, Dex. Beckett wants to see you in the infirmary. He says it’s important.” 

_Oh great. What did the little Doc want now?_

 

\----------------------

 

No more slipping away. No more horrible feelings of fading into nothingness. 

Laura Cadman was herself again, in her own body and she was perfectly healthy. Well, she had to stay in the infirmary for observations and when McKay in the bed next to her had finally stopped talking and drifted off to sleep, she was finally able to get some herself. 

Her sleep was interrupted at the sound of voices. 

“I am so sorry, Major! I honestly thought the safety was on! Are you okay?”

“Doctor Parrish, I’m fine. It’s just a graze. I’ve had worse.”

“To be honest, I’m much better with plants than guns. Guns don’t agree with me.”

“Really? You don’t say?”

“I am really sorry! If it’ll make things better, I won’t take the lessons anymore.”

Lorne sounded like he was smiling. “It’s okay, Doc, it was just an accident. Don’t give up on the lessons just because of one setback, they’re useful for you and if Rodney McKay can shoot a gun, then you sure as hell can too.”

“You mean it?” 

“I mean it wholeheartedly, Doc. Please, don’t worry any more. I’m a big boy, I’ll get over a little bullet wound.” 

Laura sat up and saw her senior officer hobble past her and Rodney. Doctor Parrish was right beside him, fussing over Lorne and still apologising profusely. Beckett wasn’t around to help, but one of the other Doctors came from the other room and assisted Lorne towards a bed. 

Lorne had no qualms about dropping his pants so the doctor could get to the wound on his thigh, but Parrish immediately turned around, pulled a privacy screen between Lorne’s bed and Rodney’s, and shielded his eyes as he continued to explain what went wrong in the training lesson.

“It’s okay, I’ve not gone commando, Parrish.” Lorne chuckled from behind the screen. 

Cadman smiled, but that smile didn’t last long when the man beside her stirred. 

“For the love of all things pure, can no one get any peace around here?” McKay groaned as he rubbed his eyes. “FYI people, my body has gone through the extensive trauma of having two consciousnesses inside it! I am exhausted and I’m trying to sleep! So can we please keep the babbling of who shot whom down to a minimum?”

“How can that body cope with just your consciousness, Rodney?” Cadman retorted, gaining amused chuckles from Lorne and Parrish. “It must be so hard.” 

“Can it, Cadman. I don’t have to put up with this. I need quiet and rest. I might as well go back to my quarters! Carson?” McKay bellowed for the CMO, but he got no response. “Carson!” 

“He’s busy, Doctor McKay,” said the doctor poking his head round the dividing screen. “He’s in a private consultation with our new visitor.” 

“With Dex? Surely that can wait! I need to get out of here! I can’t get a wink of sleep with all this racket going on!” McKay then sighed heavily, realising that he had to wait and there wasn’t anything he could do whilst Beckett was talking to Ronon. He was clearly too tired to make more of a fuss than usual. 

However a few moments later, after the doctor left the room, Lorne slipped from the bed and peered round the screen. Cadman knew that he was going to ask about last night and she wanted to tell him not to because Rodney didn’t know what she had seen. 

“So, McKay,” Lorne said, nerves slightly edging into his usually confident voice. “Last night?” McKay looked confused. Parrish raised a quizzical eyebrow in surprise.

“Last night?” asked Rodney. “What happened?” 

“You came round to my quarters last night, don’t you remember?” 

“I what--? What was I doing in your quarters?” The sheer horror on McKay’s face only confused Lorne, but when the Chief Scientist of Atlantis turned to Cadman, he was fuming, his eyes bulging. “Was Carson not enough for you, Cadman? You had to make me kiss Lorne as well?”

Lorne shoved back the screen divider. “Whoa! I didn’t kiss you, McKay! What the hell?” 

“McKay kissed you, Major?” gasped Parrish. 

“NO! I just said no, didn’t I?”

“He didn’t! She did!” yelled McKay pointing an accusing finger at Cadman. “Why else would I have gone round to his quarters in the middle of the night? Cadman, how could you? How could you take advantage of us both?” 

_Typical. He’s over reacting as usual. They all are._

“Rodney, don’t be such a jerk! I didn’t kiss Lorne! I didn’t do anything!” 

McKay made that scoffing huff sound that he did to denote disbelief. “You took control of my body and made me kiss Carson in front of everyone, why shouldn’t you and Lorne here have a little something-something? He’s a good looking guy, you just couldn’t resist, could you?” 

“You had sex with Major Lorne?” Parrish asked.

“Ugh! Did you?” McKay’s voice squeaked high and his hands immediately clasped at his groin. 

“He’s my superior officer, Rodney,” Cadman added, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t! Get a grip, will ya?” 

“None of them had sex with me!” protested Lorne. 

“No one did!” Cadman blurted, definitely catching Lorne a little off guard. He relaxed a little when the others accepted it.

“So it wasn’t actually McKay that I spoke to?” Lorne pointed at both of them. “It was you, Lieutenant, in control of McKay’s body?”

“Yes, sir.” _I was also the one who saw Ronon leave your quarters._

McKay was still not entirely convinced about the denials and was clearly under the impression that Cadman had at least kissed Lorne using his body. He squirmed in the bed, he fidgeted and scrambled to get the sheet off him. He obviously didn’t want to wait around, so he got up from his bed and stormed into the next room, calling out for Carson. 

“You have to forgive him, sir. He’s cranky when he doesn’t get any sleep.” Cadman sheepishly grinned, hoping that her senior officer wasn’t going to mention anything more about last night. 

Lorne was a relatively laid back easy going guy, but could be hard--some said he was tougher than Sheppard—when the occasion arose. But he had this rapport with the airmen and marines in his team and in general, he was one of the guys. Now he was like some confused teen, nervous about what he wanted to ask. He wasn’t going to outright, not with Parrish still standing there. 

“So…you…you saw?” Lorne scratched the back of his head and rubbed nervously at his neck. 

Cadman nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

“You…er…won’t..?” Lorne looked to Parrish who smiled and obviously hoped that Lorne would shed some light on the matter. 

“No, sir. I won’t.” 

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” 

“You’re welcome, sir.” _It was really hot thinking about you two actually._

Parrish opened his mouth to say something, but instead a loud crash, Carson’s bellowing yell and the sudden appearance of a very angry Satedan in the room, made him clamp his mouth shut and he dashed directly for the exit. 

“Bloody hell, Rodney! I was in a private consultation!” 

“I am NOT waiting around here if that Neanderthal is going crazy out there! Deal with it, Carson!”

Cadman watched as Ronon stormed up to Lorne and grabbed him by the neck, in the scuffle such a reaction caused Lorne’s own hand to lash out and grab at Ronon’s neck as well. 

They could say nothing. They only huffed and tried to breathe through their choking holds. The anger between them was pretty evident as they pushed against one another, shoving back and forth, none of them making any attempt to let go. Lorne was struggling to keep a balance because of the bullet graze on his leg but he managed one hard shove which caused Ronon to stumble. 

Ronon pushed him back. Ronon could have easily gained the upper hand with his strength, he could have slammed Lorne against the wall, but the dark smouldering glares they were giving each other were fixed, promising hurt, and both were anticipating and clearly wanting it.

Beneath that anger they were expressing was an unmistakable sexual tension, which was close to exploding. Cadman got the chills of excitement running through her seeing this struggle, in the same way she always got before setting off C4 or any other kind of explosives. It was very arousing. She bit her lip, wondering how it would turn out.

“Oi! You two! Break it up!” 

Carson Beckett was extremely brave when he came marching in to get the two men to part. He was certainly not in the slightest bit worried at forcing himself between Ronon and Lorne, pulling at their arms. 

“Break it up now!” Carson ordered, his Scottish accent sounding harder and more authoritative. He tried to force them apart, but his efforts proved futile against their combined strength. Eventually it was Lorne who let go, the pain in his leg and his other injuries were too much to handle. 

Carson aided Lorne back onto the bed, but neither Lorne nor Ronon could stop looking at each other as they regained their breath. 

“Why?” Ronon snarled, as the three guards and Parrish rushed back into the infirmary. They were unsure of what to do except stare at the scene before them, a little dumbfounded and more than confused as to what was going on. “Why did you tell him? Why did you tell anyone?”

“Because I had to,” Lorne replied, coughing. 

“Ronon, he’s right. What we talked about, it was necessary,” Carson said, his voice soft and soothing but it wasn’t having an effect on the Satedan. “Don’t blame him. He made the right decision.”

Ronon didn’t like that response. He rubbed the part of his neck where Lorne had grabbed and muttered some words in his native tongue before exiting the infirmary. It took a few seconds for Daniels, Keilty and Chang to realise they were supposed to follow and they did, leaving the room in an equally stunned silence. 

“Did he get out of the wrong side of bed this morning or is he always like that?” Parrish laughed nervously when no one answered his question. He looked to Lorne and shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry. It’s just not your day is it, Major? I accidentally shoot you with a gun and the new guy throttles you…”

“Parrish, it’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Lorne ruffled his own hair and then his face, clearly frustrated. 

“If you want me to put in a good word when you tell Weir and Sheppard, I’ll be happy to.” 

Cadman shook her head. This wasn’t going to be reported, not if Carson had anything to do with it. Sure enough the CMO talked quietly to the botanist, walking him to the door as he gave a completely different reason to why Ronon Dex acted the way he did. Parrish accepted the story and gave Lorne a large smile and two thumbs up before leaving. 

“I think I’d better leave as well.” Lorne said once he stopped coughing. “I’ve had enough excitement for one day.” 

“No kidding, sir.” 

Lorne smiled. “Okay, sharing a body with McKay is worse. I would not have liked to have been in your situation. You win, Lieutenant.” 

Cadman smirked. “Heh, it wasn’t all bad. It was quite fun actually when I didn’t know I was slowly dying, but sir…excuse me for saying so, you and Ronon? That’s far from a bad situation, sir, I’d say it was a big win.” 

_Okay, that was the wrong thing to say._

His smile turned sad after hearing that. He didn’t think that he had won, in fact Lorne looked anything but happy about it. He lightly nodded his head and headed for the door. 

She wasn’t going to say sorry, it seemed that enough people had already said that to him. Ronon Dex and last night wasn’t something Lorne wanted to discuss, but Cadman wanted him to know that she wasn’t going to tell everyone about it. She wasn’t going to betray his confidence. 

“Sir?” 

“I know, Cadman.” Lorne genuinely was grateful, the smile became sincere again. “Thank you, for not…for not saying anything.” 

“I won’t, sir…but I need to tell you…”

“Cadman, I don’t wish to be rude, but I don’t want to talk about Ronon right now. I just want to go back to my quarters, put my feet up, catch up on the hockey and have a few beers.”

“You might want to put your pants on before leaving, sir.” 

Lorne cursed, snatched the pants Carson had been holding out towards him for the past minute, and rushed behind the screen. 

Lorne may not want to admit anything more about Ronon Dex, maybe not even to himself, but Cadman knew that her SO was more than taken by the new arrival.

 

\----------

 

The one beer was not enough. 

The four after that might have been too much. 

Lorne, feeling light-headed, didn’t stay in his quarters. 

There were no guards outside his door any more, Weir had given Ronon Dex the okay to stay and now he was a member of Sheppard’s team, a citizen of Atlantis and so he was free to go about as he pleased. 

No guards. No one around, so it was the perfect opportunity to confront him, to have a little chat. 

Lorne knocked on the door. 

Ronon answered. Lorne swayed at the sight of the half-naked bronzed Satedan, his drunken eyes ogled over his torso and Lorne felt his cheeks flush. He grinned.

Ronon was not happy at all. 

“What?” 

Lorne should have turned around and left. He should have gone back to his quarters as soon as he saw Ronon’s reaction to seeing him there. The beer wasn’t going to let him leave. 

“So was that it?” Lorne asked, “Was that all you needed of me?” 

“Yeah.”

“So you’re all better now? Got everything out of your system?” 

Ronon didn’t answer. 

“Well, that’s not acceptable. I need to know if I helped. I need to know that, now you’re staying, this isn’t going to become weird between us, more than it already is, that is.” 

“What you gonna do about it?” 

The alcohol gave Lorne a very good idea. 

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.


	4. Condemned From The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there peeps! 
> 
> Here's another chapter ready and tweaked (a bit). There will most likely be mistakes still, but I hope that those who are still interested in this will enjoy! 
> 
> \-----

Ronon rose from the depths of slumber, groggy and disorientated. He opened his eyes and through blurred vision he saw naked and marked flesh, he blinked a few times and eventually made out the warm sweaty body he was wrapped around.

There was a tattoo on Lorne’s arm, intricate in detail and curiously captivating. Ronon hadn’t taken much notice of it before, or the other large one on his chest, but now all he could do was look at it, fascinated. Ronon tried to lift his numbed hand to touch it, to trace along the lines but he couldn’t, instead his hand remained draped over Lorne’s hip. He eventually managed to move his fingers, soft strokes skimmed across Lorne’s thigh carefully avoiding the bullet graze and slipped down between his legs to claw at wet curls of hair and balls. Lorne began to move, his ass ground hard against Ronon’s cock.

“Mm….nice start to the morning.” 

Ronon bowed his head into the crook of Lorne’s neck, breathing in a strong heady scent of sex, blood and sweat, he kissed and sucked at a bite mark there and Lorne shuddered against him. There was a dirty sounding laugh and Ronon’s hand was then placed upon a semi aroused cock, which Ronon then only too happily began to stroke.  
The pleasured noises emanating from Lorne was arousing in itself and as he continued to work the hardening cock, his own began to stiffen. The arousal was powerful, his body began to feel again and Ronon wanted to slip back into Lorne’s ass, so his free hand pushed between the buttocks and teased at the twitching muscle. 

Ronon growled with pleasure. 

When he was sufficiently hardened, Ronon shuffled and lifted his leg to get into a good position to push himself in, but just as the tip of his cock touched against Lorne’s entrance, an elbow impacted with his chest and he fell onto his back. 

“No.” 

Ronon turned. Lorne was facing him, smiling as if he had won a victorious battle. 

“I think it must be my turn now.”

Every instinct in Ronon’s body screamed at him, no. Every part of him was telling him how wrong this closeness was. He shouldn’t be lying here with Lorne, comfortable and sated.  
He wasn’t ready for this. 

He shoved Lorne away from him with all the strength he could muster and he rolled, rolled off the bed with a large crash. Enraged, he pulled himself up onto his knees and pulled at the drenched bed sheets, forcing Lorne to roll off the other side. Lorne yelled some colourful words as he hit the floor. 

“Get out.” Ronon snarled as the two of them faced each other, both still trying to keep upright by clinging to the bed. 

He wasn’t going to say it twice. Ronon somehow got onto his feet, and though still unsteady, he managed to haul on some pants, staggering and crashing into the walls, before gathering up the rest of Lorne’s clothes and lobbing them directly at him. 

“So that’s it then? You’re done with me?” asked Lorne. 

“Yeah. We’re done. Leave.” 

“Fine.” Lorne pulled on what clothes he could—he staggered and stumbled just like Ronon did-- before he headed to the door. He didn’t get his shirt done up, so it draped open, revealing the collection of bruises over his torso. His pants barely held onto his waist because the buttons had been ripped off, and as Ronon was clearly not going to give him the time to get everything on, he had to carry his boots in one hand whilst the other hand held up his pants. “I’ll leave. I knew it was a mistake to come here. After last night and what we did, how we ended up this morning, I actually thought you and I might start being friends but clearly that’s not going to be the case. Welcome to Atlantis, Ronon Dex. Hope you’ll be very happy here.”

The door opened and Lorne was startled when he saw Teyla standing there, her hand raised to knock. Her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of both of them half-naked, but then she smiled. 

Lorne tried to return the smile for her, but it didn’t take a genius to know he was angry, frustrated and more than embarrassed that she had seen him like this. Ronon didn’t bother to greet her with any pleasantries. He instead busied himself by tidying up the mess from their ruckus. He pulled the bed sheets off the bed, along with bits of the wall which had broken off. 

“Good morning.” Teyla’s voice was attempting to sound cheerful, as she nearly always was in the mornings, but it was strained. “Major Lorne…this is a surprise.”

“Really, Teyla? Honestly?” 

“No. It’s not a surprise. My apologies.” 

“Well, it started out a good morning, Teyla.” Lorne slipped past her, but he didn’t look at her for he was still glaring angrily at Ronon. “But the forecast for the rest of the day…for the rest of the year? Not so great. You know, I was worried about what kind of a person Ronon was before, what kind of a guy we were inviting to Atlantis and I realise now that I needn’t have worried at all. He was a dick when I meet him and he still is.”

“Major!” 

“I tried doing it your way, Teyla, and it’s obvious I went a little too far. I’ve…I’ve gotta take a shower.” 

“Ronon?”

“Let him leave,” Ronon growled.

“Yeah, I’m leaving.” Lorne started to walk off down the corridor. “He’ll prefer your company anyway.” 

When Lorne had gone, Teyla was still standing in the doorway, unsure of what to do or say. Ronon allowed her to come in by grunting an acknowledgement. Teyla stepped inside and the door snapped shut behind her. But as she looked around at the wreckage of his quarters and looked to him for answers, he gave her a blank stare which seemed to say _‘So what?’_

“Dr Weir has given us the go ahead to go the mainland,” she said finally. “Would you still like to come?” 

Ronon nodded, though he wasn’t really paying her much attention. He was staring at the bed sheets, at what was on them; he looked at the broken parts of the wall, the shattered remains of a control panel, before gazing down at himself. He was dirty, wet and sticky and a new bruise was forming on his side. Ronon touched at the red swelling and the sharp pain made his muscles clench tightly in protest. He hadn’t been the only one to dish out some tough punches last night.

 

_“What have you been up to, young man? Have you been fighting again?”_

_“No grandfather…I was just playing. Honest.”_

_“Ronon?"_

_“I wasn’t fighting!”_

_“Ronon, you’re six years old, do not lie to me! Have you been fighting?”_

_“Yes, grandfather, I was fighting, but I didn’t start it!”_

_“You started the fight or you didn’t, it does not matter, my littlest Dex. What is important is I taught you how to defend yourself better than that! Are you getting sloppy?”_

 

Ronon scrunched up the sheets and threw them aside. The memory had come out of nowhere and it was so powerful and real that he felt tears welling up in his eyes. A few days later after that fight, the man who he loved as a father, who had taught him everything about hunting and tracking, who had taught him how to fight, entered the Second Childhood. 

Ronon remembered the last day they’d shared together in the Talus shrine. It had been a happy yet also agonising last day and remembering his grandfather’s death finally made the tears fall down Ronon’s face. 

“If you require time alone… to shower and refresh, I can meet you in the jumper bay when you’re ready?”

He couldn’t turn to face Teyla. Ronon didn’t even dare to wipe at the tears on his face, it would show how weak and pathetic he was being, so he grit his teeth and composed himself, or at least tried to, the effort infuriated him further. 

“You do that,” he snapped. 

He didn’t wait for her to leave, Ronon let his pants slip down and off and he strolled naked into his bathroom. He didn’t care that she saw him naked; he didn’t even notice or hear her leave. He just turned on the shower and stepped inside, completely unperturbed by the freezing cold water. 

Ronon stood beneath the water, moving his head around as it cascaded over him and soaked into his dreads. It turned from cold to hot, but he didn’t care about the scalding the water was giving him, for the memories of his past were pounding his head like angry fists, relentless and hard. 

He recalled his mother, his older sisters, their voices and hugs and the arguments and laughs he and his sisters often shared. He remembered the first nervous kiss he shared with a girl in his class when he was fourteen years old; the day he joined the army, when he met Melena, the first time he had sex. He remembered every member of his squad, who eventually became his friends, Ari, Tyre, Hemi and the others. He remembered the many nights spent with them and with Solen. 

It hurt. It hurt with every memory and he tried to resist the grief within him, he tried to be angry instead. He wanted to feel anything but this agony. Ronon threw a punch at the wall, but it did nothing except hurt his hand. 

He swore. Ronon used every rude and vile word he could think of in his own tongue, but still the memories kept coming back with a vengeance; his mother’s cooking; every time he made love to Melena, both times he became an uncle, the Wraith trying to feed from him…the running…the constant fucking running. Then after everything he had experienced in his 26 years, there was Atlantis. This was where he was going to be now. This was where he was going to help put an end to the Wraith, with Sheppard, Carson, Teyla, McKay and Weir. 

With Lorne. 

_“This is going to hurt. I don’t intend to be gentle with you.”_

_“Yeah…I know, you don’t have to be.”_

Being with Lorne lessened the pain but not by much. Every pinching touch on Lorne’s flesh, every thrust inside him, when he clenched, when they both came, it was a rush, an incredible high, a pleasurable distraction that blocked everything else out, until Ronon woke up again. The harder he drove into Lorne, the more he was able to forget Sateda, his family and loved ones…for a while. 

_The needle dug into his skin. The pleasant pain barely registered as more than a sharp tingle, but he felt the blood and ink trickling down his neck. He wiped some of it away and looked at the black and red on the end of his fingers._

_This was who he was now and would forever be._

Specialist Ronon Dex. 

What was a Satedan title here on Atlantis? None of them would understand or be as awed or proud like his people were. A rare and respected name meant nothing to them or anyone else. He was just some alien thug here. His interactions with Lorne proved that just enough. 

_“So, do you want to fight first then fuck?”_

The fight had been a little bit rough, but again, not nearly as rough as when he had Lorne pinned up against the wall, when Ronon was into him ploughing hard and deep.  
Ronon ran his hands over his body to wash off the traces of Lorne that coated his skin, but he thought of him when his fingers glided over his cock, the recall of those deep bellowing roars of pain and ecstasy Lorne made, made Ronon tighten his hold and pump. 

His head bobbed with every quickening motion, his eyes fluttered shut and eventually when his cock hardened, when the pleasure swelled to near bursting point and his legs began to spasm, Ronon crashed against the wall to steady himself. He thought of Lorne with every gasping breath, he thought of that strong battle-worn body, every muscle, every defined masculine line, the feel of his cock in his hand, he thought of those pleading noises Lorne made when he came, the hot spill of him over his fingers and in his mouth. 

Ronon was close. 

_He had an amazing strength in him. Those arms were taking the strain, barely holding steady even though his legs and the rest of him were ready to give out. The smack of skin against skin, the wet hot slickness inside Lorne…it was driving him into a fit of rage._

He was so close. His hand jacked harder, the surging hot build up in his cock was aching to shoot. Ronon couldn’t stop. This damned human was messing him up. 

_Don’t look at me! I don’t want to see your face._

Even though Ronon had tried to ensure that they never faced one another there was one weak moment where Ronon allowed it, where for a second or two they were looking at each other and smiling. 

_“God, you’re amazing.”_

Ronon didn’t like what those words did to him or made him feel. After that lapse, Ronon had been quite brutal afterwards. Now, with his eyes closed and him teetering on the brink of orgasm, Ronon could clearly imagine Lorne’s face when he took him, every grimace and smile, he could see how hurt Lorne was but how he enjoyed it. 

_“Ronon!”_

Lorne’s cry of his name sent Ronon over the edge. He came in his hand with a force which made him collapse to the floor, shaking as the last remnants shot out into the pooling water beneath him. 

Even as the euphoric shudders continued to twitch his limbs, as Ronon panted for normal breath, he didn’t feel sated. He felt angry again and he felt far from clean. 

Ronon didn’t know how long he sat in that shower. He recalled vaguely getting up and turning off the water, but now at he stood by his bed, he detested the state of it. 

A couple of days on the mainland, with Teyla’s people, might be just what he needed, to forget about everything, especially Evan Lorne. 

 

\--------

 

Light duties. 

Lorne protested about the assignment, but Sheppard said it was for the best, because the gunshot wound— _“Graze, sir! It’s a damned graze!”_ — deemed Lorne unfit for off world missions. Carson had backed Sheppard’s recommendation even further by mentioning the injuries Lorne still had from the fight with Ronon in the gym. 

“You’re not in top physical condition at the moment, Lorne,” Sheppard said, quite harshly proving his point by jabbing Lorne in the ribs.

“Ow!”

“See? You couldn’t run away from my nana on her mobility scooter, let alone Wraith warriors. Light duties means light duties until you’re back to normal. Or as normal as you can be, Lorne. Okay?” 

“Gee…thanks sir.” 

The two of them grinned and patted each other on the shoulders. Lorne winced as Sheppard’s hand caught a tender bruise. Sheppard grimaced in sympathy. 

“Seriously, Lorne…take it easy. Catch up on your paperwork for a while, run drills on your team, make them run the marathon course of the city whilst you sit down and do a Sudoku puzzle or something.”

“I hate Sudoku puzzles, sir.”

“Just avoid botanists with guns and angry Satedans, understood?” 

He understood all too well. 

“The second part will be easy enough,” Sheppard cheerfully continued. “I’m taking Ronon and Teyla to the mainland and they’re staying there for a few days. He’s trying out the life with the Athosians before we go on our first mission.” 

“That’ll be nice for him.” Lorne smiled, but that smile really didn’t do anything for the insincerity in his voice. 

“You still don’t approve of my decision, of Elizabeth’s decision to let him stay?” 

Not really. Lorne hadn’t changed his mind about Ronon at all and the sex hadn’t helped change it either. The sex had just complicated matters and confused the hell out of him. He didn’t know what to feel or do. Avoidance seemed to be the best plan at the moment, but god knew what would happen when both of them would have to work together. 

“It’s not that I don’t approve, Colonel, it’s just that I still have doubts.” 

Sheppard appeared to accept that, he nodded in understanding. 

“I know what you mean, but give Ronon a chance. When he goes on his first mission, I’m sure all of our doubts will be put to rest. It’s going to turn out peachy…trust me.” 

“I do, sir.” 

“Atta boy, Evan!” Sheppard patted him on the back, again catching a sore spot. 

“Argh! Could you please not…not do that, Colonel?” 

“My bad, sorry. Look, I gotta go to the jumper bay, but you’re under orders to take on light duties only and to rest when you can. No more strenuous activity.”

That included any rough sex with a six foot five angry grieving Satedan. 

“Yes, sir.” 

The CO of Atlantis grinned apologetically and proceeded to walk then sprint away from the gate room, touching his ear and responding to a radio call, no doubt Teyla calling for his presence. 

Lorne was left in the gate room. After a while he began to walk, as best he could, in the direction of the mess hall, but with stiff and aching limbs, he felt like an utter cripple. 

Everyone else thought he was too. A team all prepared to go through the gate passed him and wished him a speedy recovery. 

With Ronon out of the city, Lorne would have the opportunity to get some rest and recover, but being confined to Atlantis himself, it was going to be an utter drag. He hated being on light duties, it was boring. 

“Major Lorne! Do you have a moment? In my office?” 

He looked up and he gulped nervously. The questions sounded more like orders than requests.

Dr Weir was standing on the balcony just outside her office, her hands resting on her hips and a smile on her lips that Lorne couldn’t quite figure out. As he tackled the stairs, Lorne tried to get a hint on her mood. She wasn’t angry or overly pleased, but the way Weir was holding her stature, it was serious.

This was it then. 

 

 _This was it._

_He had made the first move and while that didn’t go well with Ronon initially, Lorne soon changed the Satedan’s mind._

_Damn those beers._

_He took a fistful of cock and leather, and he squeezed. He used Ronon’s sudden shock and momentary unbalance to shove him against the wall. Something broke. Lorne then coiled some of Ronon’s dreadlocks around his other hand and pulled him down to his level._

_Ronon was furious now. Being grabbed like that made him growl and he bared his teeth. Spit dripped from his bottom lip as his hands latched onto Lorne’s waist. He dug his fingers in hard but that was all he managed as Lorne squeezed his cock even harder. Ronon instantly tensed, his face scrunched up and when Lorne squeezed him again, his legs nearly buckled._

_“So do you want to fight first or fuck?” Lorne hissed, pulling harder on Ronon’s hair so his mouth was directly by the Satedan’s ear. He loosened, softened his hold on Ronon’s cock, stroking it through the leather of his pants, enticing a pleasured murmur and acknowledging growl from the other man._

_Lorne smiled and tugged once again on the dreadlocks._

_“Good.”_

_Lorne kissed and bit at Ronon’s jaw, he attempted to press his mouth against Ronon’s too, but for such an attempt, an abrupt head-butt sent him staggering backwards._

_“Fighting first it is then.”_

_Lorne couldn’t help but grin as he dodged Ronon’s first punch. This was going to be fun._

 

“Ma’am.” Lorne gave Weir a brisk and formal nod as he walked into her office. He knew what Weir wanted to talk about and she waited for him to start off the conversation as she sat, not behind her desk, but on one of the softer chairs. She beckoned to Lorne to sit next to her. 

“At ease, Major, please.”

Lorne sunk down into the chair, but he couldn’t relax, for his whole body was stiff to attention. Weir wasn’t military but she was the first-in-command on Atlantis yet her request for him to be at ease seemed impossible to oblige.

“Major?” Elizabeth crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair, resting her hands in her lap. Her smile warmed more as Lorne still didn’t relax. “Do you know why I asked you here?” 

“I take it Doctor Beckett has informed you about what Ronon and I….what happened?” Lorne asked. 

“He did.” 

“I am sorry, Doctor Weir. I acted without thinking, ma’am. I know I broke SGC regulations, but it was not my intention, nor is it supposed to be any kind of excuse. If my actions with Ronon mean my suspension or transfer away from Pegasus, if it means my dismissal even, then I willingly accept it. I was wrong and I potentially put myself and others at risk.” Lorne had to take a deep breath after blurting all that out. 

“Yes. You did, major.” 

“What will happen to me?”

“Fortunately for you, Major Lorne, and for the rest of us on Atlantis, nothing will happen in regards to contracting or spreading any strain of Pegasus STDs. Carson has done a full check on Ronon and Satedans have been cleared. However, it could have easily turned out differently, which is why we have these regulations in place. They’re to protect us all, Major, and having sex, especially unprotected sex, with unregistered humans was a serious lack in judgement.”

Lack of judgement? He had none when it came to Ronon Dex except what he passed over him. Lorne couldn’t argue or object to anything Weir said, but it didn’t change the fact that that he was in trouble. 

“Sheppard picked you, Lorne, out of many who applied for the XO position on Atlantis, because of your record. After the mission SG-11 went on, to P3X-403, your first off-world mission I understand, the incident with the Unas was…”

“Not one of my proudest moments, ma’am.” 

“Understandable. Yet, you learnt from it well. You distinguished yourself after that in a number of missions against the Goa’uld. You proved—especially to Doctor Jackson and Colonel O’Neill—that you were not Colonel Edwards, that you are capable of initiative and leadership. You flew an F302 interceptor at Antarctica and you were one of the pilots who made it possible to rescue Colonel Mitchell. You’ve made some exceptional and exemplary achievements, which caught not only Colonel Sheppard’s eye but mine. You deserve this XO posting and your own team, but I do have to do something about your…encounter with Ronon. You will be given a reprimand and a permanent mark placed on your record.”

“I’m not being reassigned back to the SGC?” 

“No,” Weir smiled. “I’ve just said that you are a good officer, Major. We need you here and while you made a mistake, you’re not the first person to have broken this rule. You’re fortunate nothing happened except a few personal injuries. The mark will be placed on your record, but because of DADT, I will make some amends to the actual details of it, so it won’t mean dismissal or transfer.” 

Oh god. Lorne breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He slumped in his chair, unable to retain his attentive posture. 

“Thank you, Doctor Weir…thank you! I don’t know what to say, except…well that and I am sorry.”

“I can trust you’ll not to do something like this again? That you have learnt from this mistake as you did with P3X-403? I would hate to have to send you back to Earth.” 

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll not let it happen again. You have my word.” 

“What happened between you and Ronon, it’s not going to affect your duties? Now he’s officially a part of Sheppard’s team, you two will be working together on missions, so I expect you both to act with decorum and restraint. I expect you to act as an USAF Major should.”

“Of course, Doctor Weir. Ronon and I won’t be an issue.” 

Lorne hoped they wouldn’t be. A few days apart might be a short term solution to their situation, but when Ronon returned, Lorne hadn’t a clue how they would work together. A rumble in his stomach, of fear rather than any actual pangs of hunger—made him realise that a very difficult and sober conversation would have to happen between the two of them.

Well, it would probably be him doing all the talking. 

“Good. I’m glad that this was made clear. However…”

Lorne sat up and froze once again. There was a ‘however.’

“I think that a reprimand and a mark on your record is still getting off lightly considering the importance of the regulation you broke, Major. While I’m more than happy to not inform Sheppard about all the details of your misconduct, I will take a page from his book in regard of further discipline. I think it will be quite fitting for you.” 

She was smiling more now and it was definitely a sign. Lorne didn’t like it. 

Not one bit. 

 

\--------

 

_He couldn’t form words._

_His mouth hung open and only saliva and shuddering broken cries of vocalisation came out. Every part of him was straining to withstand the force being hammered into him, his skin was burning and his vision was blurring into nothing as sweat and tears made his eyes smart._

_He was beginning to shake. The pain of the bullet graze was growing intensely. His legs were about to give out and he would’ve collapsed onto the bed, he wanted to several times, but Ronon kept him up on his knees, dragging him roughly up every time he sagged._

_The bruising fingers clinging to his hips finally let him go as Lorne felt Ronon slip out. Both of them cried out at their separation, Lorne dropped to the bed, grateful for a moment to catch what he could of his breath, but it wasn’t for long. Ronon collapsed on top of him, their sweating heaving bodies moved together, shaking and trembling, before Ronon scrambled up and forced Lorne onto his back._

_This was the first time Ronon allowed Lorne to look at him and it was a sight to behold. Lorne grinned when he looked up and down Ronon’s body and for a brief moment Ronon gazed down at him and returned the smile._

_He stared at Ronon and an overwhelming and very sudden surge of joy rippled through his body. Lorne grinned even more and reached up to stroke tenderly, almost lovingly at Ronon’s hips and legs. Doing this felt unbelievably normal and so good and it was strangely no different to how Lorne felt with the women he had been with in the past. His hand caressed over Ronon’s hips again, stroking over his ass, then his abdomen, his fingers lingering there for a moment before lightly taking hold of his cock, feeling the wetness, feeling the hot stiffness of it against his palm. Ronon rocked gently against him, rubbing his own hands across the tattoo on Lorne’s chest as they ground together._

_“God, you are…amazing.”_

_Ronon’s smile disappeared. Lorne saw a brief look of anguish and grief in his eyes before the anger returned. Suddenly Ronon moved, he shuffled down Lorne’s legs and bent down. His hand grabbed hold of Lorne mere moments before he took him entirely into his mouth._

_Lorne clenched his fists into the sheets and yelled._

_“Oh god!”_

_Ronon was not gentle._

 

“Oh my god!” 

Lorne was falling. 

The hard cold floor broke his fall. He was a little dazed, but quickly he realised that he had simply slipped off his chair. There was a group of people crowding around him looking down as he sat uncomfortably on the floor. Some were concerned, a couple were amused but there were a number who were not pleased, at all. McKay was one of them. 

“Are you okay, Major Lorne?” asked Zelenka, helping Lorne back to his feet and into his chair. Lorne nodded but groaned as he lowered down onto the hard metal chair. It really wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sit on whilst he was suffering from his injuries. 

“Don’t pamper him, Radek!” McKay scorned. “He fell asleep again! Seriously, why do you attend these seminars, Lorne? It’s clear you have no interest in the subject matter whatsoever and your snoring makes it difficult for the rest of us to enjoy it!” 

“Oh heck, McKay, I’m sorry!” Lorne was groggy, but he still managed to inflect sarcasm in his voice. He rubbed at his eyes and yawned before looking genuinely apologetic to Zelenka. “I fell asleep again?” 

“I’m afraid so.” Zelenka nodded, though he wasn’t in the slightest bit upset that Lorne had. In fact he was looking quite amused. 

“Was I snoring?” 

“A little bit.”

“A little bit?” McKay shook his head. “I could barely hear what Doctor Peters was saying!”

“You’re exaggerating things as usual, Rodney,” Zelenka scoffed and rolled his eyes. “He just nodded off.”

“Were you having a nice dream, Major?” A short little lady with dark hair, Doctor Peters, winked at him. “It looked like you were.”

“Er…no. I…” Lorne was blushing and he looked away, cursing himself for being so damned obvious. “I don’t remember. It was nothing really.”

“You didn’t remember? Yeah, like hell you did, Lorne!” McKay snapped. 

Whilst Zelenka and McKay began having their own little bitching argument, dragging Peters and several other scientists into the fray, Lorne sat rooted to his chair in the middle of it all. He had woken into a nightmare. He had dreamt of last night and for a moment he had been happy, but now as Weir’s punishment was playing out, so many scientists in one room yelling at each other, he wished that he could have controlled himself concerning Ronon Dex and not got into trouble in the first place. 

The nightmare turned for the worst when the arguing stopped and the seminar eventually continued, with bizarre jargon words babbling at 100mph. All of them laughed at some kind of joke Peters made, but Lorne didn’t have a clue as to why they did. It was a foreign language to him. Lorne would have gladly dropped off to sleep as the alien technical blurb bored him, but he wasn’t allowed. McKay decided to sit next to him and nudged him to keep him awake. 

This was beyond punishment.

He only hoped that Ronon was having a terrible time on the mainland.

 

\-------------------

 

Ronon had been on the mainland with the Athosians for three days. He didn’t feel right amongst them. He was far from comfortable. 

During his time here there was a lot of sitting around and thinking about stuff and not thinking about stuff (what Teyla called meditating). They did some gardening…planted things, messed around in the dirt and hunted. The hunting was peculiar and strange as Ronon was so used to being hunted instead of the other way round. 

Ronon didn’t engage as much, even though the women kept making things for him and giving him gifts, and the children kept pestering him. The Athosians were very hospitable, he couldn’t deny that, but the children kept asking questions about Sateda, questions Ronon couldn’t answer. It was too hard to be amongst these people, knowing they survived and his did not. He couldn’t manage it. 

Then there was the praying…the sitting around and thinking about stuff. 

The Athosians were much more spiritual in the things they did. They prayed to the Ancestors for everything, which was fine; the ancestors played a part in Satedan belief too but the Athosians thought and prayed too much for his liking; to the weather, the food, the sun, the earth, the time of day it was and the clothes they wore. They were far too reverent.

Satedan prayers were more often for strength and courage in battle, for honour. Not much else. 

The nights weren’t any easier here either, especially in the huts the Athosians lived in. Ronon woke in terror and sweated in cold dread as he always did, his cries always bringing a gathering of concerned Athosians to his door. Some of the elders of the village tried to help with soothing words and prayers, but he couldn’t handle that. He was often left alone or Ronon ended up going into the woods to be by himself. 

Teyla did her best to help him, but in the end, there was only one thing they could do and that was to return to Atlantis. The best thing for him was to have his first mission as part of Sheppard’s team and see how he coped. 

The puddle jumper was eventually called for and although the Athosians were sad to see him leave, Ronon couldn’t wait to get back to the city. 

“I hope you find your place, Ronon Dex,” Halling bid goodbye to him with a bow and the other Athosians copied him. “I hope you find what peace you can.” 

Ronon bowed in response, their foreheads touched in the traditional Athosian gesture, but when he straightened up and backed away, Halling’s son Jinto and his friend Wex had stepped forward with a couple of the other children. They each held some of the gifts the Athosian women had made for him, all in large bags that they could barely hold. 

“I can’t accept these…” he said, but Jinto still thrust into his hands one of the bags. Looking inside, there was a long light tan leather coat and several other pieces of clothing, newly stitched. 

“They were made for you,” said Jinto, “No one else but my father is tall enough for these clothes and they’re really not his style. Please, take them.”

“You would insult us, Ronon, by refusing again?” Halling asked, smirking. 

“Much rather have some of that Ruus wine, if you got any going spare?” 

Halling chuckled softly and as if he already knew that Ronon was going to ask that, signaled for some of the young hunters to come forward. Each of them had two caskets of the potent wine. 

“You seemed to bear it well, not many can withstand its potency,” Halling added. “Accept them and the clothes with our best wishes.”

Ronon accepted their gifts. It was stupid to turn down good quality clothes—during the years as a runner it was difficult to fashion together anything practical except what he stole— and he wasn’t going to be seen in those outfits they wore on Atlantis. They bid their last farewells and boarded the jumper. 

On the journey back to the city, he sat in the rear compartment looking at his gifts, wondering why they deemed him friend enough to warrant any of this. 

 

 _The wraith strode up to him, its razor teeth bared and dripping with saliva. Ronon didn’t struggle, he just grinned back at him, puffing out his chest egging the damned thing to take a taste._

_Sure enough, the wraith raised its hand; the feeding suckers twitched in anticipation and secreted a gooey like substance from the slit, before it was slammed hard against Ronon’s chest._

_Ronon felt a slight twang of pain on his skin, something sharp took hold and then what felt like burning liquid poured into his body. It stopped just as suddenly as it started and Ronon saw the disgusted look upon the wraith’s face. It was reviled by something and it stopped and pulled its hand away._

_It was angry._

_Ronon was ripped from the cocoon, his shirt was torn from his back and he was thrown onto a cold metal table._

_“This is your fate now, Satedan,” the Wraith drooled and spat as he spoke by Ronon’s ear. “You will never stop running.”_

_They cut him open. They put in the tracker and condemned him for the rest of his life._

When the jumper came into view of Atlantis, Ronon moved up to the front and stared at the city, all its lights glinting like stars as sky turned dark. He had never seen such a sight before coming here, not even the capital city of Sateda looked so stunning at night. 

“Are you okay?” Teyla touched lightly at his shoulder and he looked down at her to give her a smile. 

“Yeah. No disrespect for your people, Teyla, but I am actually looking forward to being back here.” 

“No offense taken, Ronon…our people are very different in their ways and the Lanteans are even more so. They are a strange people, but they are the ones who brought back the city of the Ancestors, they are the ones who have the Ancient’s genes still prevalent within them.” Teyla looked to the pilot. Captain Griffin was listening even though he was pretending that he wasn’t. 

Ronon scowled for a moment. “What genes, what do you mean?”

“Well, we all were seeded by the Ancients, long ago. We were created by them. But there are a number among Sheppard’s people who have a very rare gene, passed down by the Ancients through the generations, which enables them operate some of the more specialised and more dangerous technology, like the jumpers and the drones. This is because some of the Ancients decided to live amongst them. Did you not know?” 

Ronon shrugged his shoulders. He might not have been listening to McKay at the time. Rodney was talking at length and speed. No, he hadn’t listened. It was only his first day on Atlantis and that much intensity and that much Rodney McKay was too much. He had tuned him out. 

“He is one of them?” Ronon asked gesturing at Griffin. 

“Hey! What are you implying, pal?” Griffin retorted. 

“You don’t look like a descendant of the Ancients.” 

“I know I don’t look like I should be descended from higher beings just because I got a little paunch? I'll have you know, Mr Dex…the ladies love me!” 

He quickly went back to piloting the jumper when Ronon gave him a threatening glare. 

“Captain Griffin is one of only 20 people on Atlantis who have the gene naturally,” Teyla explained. “Colonel Sheppard, Doctor Beckett and Major Lorne are also.”

“Lorne has this gene?” Ronon asked, surprised. He saw that irritating coy smile on Teyla’s face again. “He’s…he’s descended from Ancients?” 

“Yes. In a sense, Rodney would be able to explain it better than I. Does that bother you that any of them do?” 

A little. 

A lot. 

Ronon had been told in many stories when he was a boy, that the ancestors created his people to be great warriors. They were made to be strong, to be resistant and fierce. His grandfather even told him that it was Satedans who would fight alongside the Ancients, sometime in the future, and keep them safe. So that was why Satedans blessed their weapons, they prayed for each other every mission off world, they offered thanks to the ancestors when they came home safe. Strength, honour… courage and might, it was all they ever asked for. 

So Sheppard, the Doc…even Lorne had this Ancient gene? That meant they were special somehow? They were the new Ancients? Were these the people who his Grandfather had spoken about in the stories? Ronon wasn’t sure he completely liked that idea. None of them seemed like Ancients to him. 

When the jumper docked, Teyla and Griffin helped him carry his new belongings back to his quarters. Sheppard greeted him on the way there, quite heartily and with smiles and with hefty whacks on his arm, before asking questions about the days they spent away, but as Ronon’s entire account was only _‘It was okay’_ Sheppard seemed disappointed and instead invited him to a late night spar.

It was the first time Ronon had actually fought with Sheppard, hand to hand, and with every success against the Colonel, all Ronon could think about was that John had the gene. 

In his blood was the blood of the Ancients. Should he be letting him win? 

When Sheppard caught him unaware and knocked him to the floor, it seemed wrong that Sheppard started laughing, chanting and dancing like a kid. Ancestors weren’t supposed to be so childish, were they? 

“Ha HA! Got ya! Let’s go again!”

Ronon didn’t think Sheppard was in any shape or form to continue, but he accepted the Colonel’s invitation. Sheppard did improve and it impressed Ronon no end. 

So this was going to be his leader now, this was who he was going to take orders from. It felt strange, but Sheppard would have to prove himself, especially after the last man Ronon had trusted and followed betrayed all their people stood for and had sent thousands to their deaths.

Their sparring lasted quite long into the night and Sheppard’s determination kept them from retiring back to their own quarters to get any sleep, it delayed Ronon from having his nightmares, but not even Sheppard’s humour and his jokes prevented them entirely when Ronon finally went to sleep. 

 

\-------

 

When Lorne got the call days later, it was the best thing he could have hoped for. Weir had selected him and a small team to accompany her to Olesia and hopefully start some trade agreements. He had got the rest he needed and the injuries were not such a hindrance, Lorne could finally do his job properly. No more light duties, no more being stranded in the city slowly going crazy with boredom because of his ‘minor’ injuries. 

The excitement and joy of finally going off world was short lived when Lorne was told that Sheppard and the rest of his team hadn’t come back. He had sat in the pilot seat of the puddle jumper, looking for their signals on the island, but there were none. 

It was Ronon’s first mission. Had it gone bad because Ronon screwed up? Was it his fault? 

Something in Lorne’s gut was telling him it probably wasn’t, but this was no time to be slacking or forgetting what he had been trained to do. No jumping to conclusions, they had to get in there and find them first. 

However, when they reached the city, Lorne took one look at the Magistrate and his entourage of guards surrounding him and Lorne instantly knew that they had something to do with the missing Atlantis team. They may not have been the direct cause, but there was definitely something shifty about them.

Marin had been different. There was genuine fear in her eyes, in the way she walked and held that tablet to her chest. Her whole body language indicated that these people had a secret. Lorne could see that Marin wanted to say something about it, but she was far too scared.

When she did own up to what her people had been doing, she was taken away and arrested. Lorne badly wanted to help her, for a civilization to have punishment where the prisoners are sent to be culled by the Wraith, it was quite sickening. 

It was even more sickening knowing, when they returned to Atlantis, the prisoners had escaped, but the city, with thousands of innocent people and children, had just been culled by the Wraith. Lorne had been witness to Goa’uld and human atrocities, he had been in war zones, but knowing that all the people in the city were going to die, knowing that he couldn’t help Marin, who had tried to do the right thing, it was eating him up inside. 

In the conference room, the debrief had been quite sombre, none of them liked abandoning the planet, but they all knew it was dangerous to go back. 

“Are we going to leave those people to die?” asked Lorne as he looked at Eldon tugging on one strap of his cap as he glared at the room in wonder. “Surely there is something we can do to help them?”

“I second that. We must go to the aid of the Olesians,” Teyla added. 

Weir nodded her head solemnly. “That cruiser had nowhere else to go except to the city. I seriously doubt there are any survivors left.” 

“They brought it upon themselves.” 

Lorne snapped his head round and glared at Ronon for such a comment. 

“What did you say?” he asked. Ronon shook his head in disbelief. 

“You heard me. They made a deal with the Wraith. You make any kind of deal with them then you deserve everything you get.” 

“You are kidding me, right? Colonel?” Lorne looked to Sheppard and then to Weir, utterly astonished that Ronon could be so single-minded. “There were children in that city! People who had done nothing wrong except have the shit luck of living under a government who made that agreement before any of them were born!”

“He does have a point, Ronon,” said Teyla. “We should return at the very least to see if there is anyone left alive.”

“They should have fought back,” Ronon replied. “Those people knew it was wrong and they should have done something about it. You don’t give in to the Wraith!”

“Yeah?” Lorne snarled. “Not everyone is capable of resisting the Wraith, Ronon.” 

“Yeah, they are.” 

“The Olesians didn’t stand a chance against them! They didn’t have the Ancient’s technology to help them! Even the Ancients weren’t able to fight them off completely!”

“You still fight, even if it is hopeless! You don’t make deals with the Wraith!” 

“Gentlemen!” Weir held up her hand, she glared at Lorne for a moment but then her expression softened. “What do you propose, major?” 

“We go back,” Lorne said, looking to Sheppard as well, “in cloaked puddle jumpers, and with small teams. Direct confrontation with the Wraith would be crazy at this point, but as with any civilization in Pegasus, they must have some contingency in place when these cullings happen. There have to be shelters or hideouts that the Olesians have that the Wraith could miss. We can bring back any survivors here or to the address where the prisoners were sent.”

“It’s risky,” Weir said tentatively. 

“But doable, especially if Eldon helps us out,” Sheppard agreed. “Eldon?” 

The Olesian man shrugged his shoulders. “There are places I remember. It has been so long and I don’t know if the Wraith know about them or not, but yeah. I’ll help.”

“We will have to be extremely careful, especially if the Wraith are still there,” Sheppard smiled. “If we get together a plan then I’m up for it. Lorne?” 

“I’m good to go, sir.” 

“I would like to go as well,” Teyla agreed. 

McKay sighed. “Sure. Me too.”

“I’ll go as well,” Ronon added. “Get me a chance to kill some Wraith.”

“Not you, Ronon.” Sheppard pointed at his leg. “Carson said you’re to keep off it. So…keep off it.” 

Ronon was going to protest about it, but Sheppard, Weir, Teyla and McKay were already out of the conference room and gone before he could say anything further. Lorne watched him as he began to hobble out, but he couldn’t bring himself to let Ronon go. 

“Look, Ronon…”

“Not interested in talking to you.” 

“When are you ever?” 

Ronon shrugged his shoulders. 

Lorne walked over to Ronon, who gave Lorne the impression of a teenager who didn’t give a crap about what was about to happen. 

“I want to know what it is that you want from me, Ronon. The mission, the safety of Atlantis, of this galaxy and my own, the safety of my family back home is what matters! I will not let you or I jeopardise any of that. What happened between us, it can’t interfere, but if we carry on like this, it will. So either we don’t screw around anymore or you can damned well tell me what is going on in that thick headed Satedan skull of yours. Talk to me! Tell me what you want of me!” 

Sometimes it was easy to know what Ronon was thinking about, but right now, looking up at him and seeing him staring back, Lorne couldn’t make out if Ronon was angry or about to laugh in his face. 

Ronon shrugged his shoulders and he hobbled away without saying a single word. 

“Great! Lovely! Fantastic!” Lorne took a swipe at one of the chairs, sending it spinning round in circles. “Thanks, Ronon! Glad we shared! I feel much better now!” 

There was no one there. Ronon didn’t hear him and thankfully no one else did either. Lorne strolled through the open wall panels and headed in the direction of the shooting range. While that had gone well in Ronon Dex terms, for Lorne it was anything but. 

He was even more frustrated and now he had the heavy urge to go and shoot things. 

His posting to Atlantis was supposed to be a new change for Lorne. They told him that he was coming here to help defend humanity against a possible alien invasion. It was supposed to be that simple. Stop the bad guys from reaching Earth. 

Finding out that he did have strong sexual urges for a man who infuriated him was the last thing he wanted. Now, the only thing he could do was to keep out of Ronon’s way, be strong and not give into any sexual or adversarial advances from the Satedan, for one often followed the other. 

Yeah. Right. 

\---------

Having ignored Carson’s advice to keep off his injured leg, Ronon went to the jumper bay to see the teams before they went on this mission. 

He wanted to go with them for Lorne was right, there were those who didn’t make the deal with the Wraith and they deserved to be rescued, but as always in his mind, he hated that anyone could possibly make a deal with the Wraith, that anyone would allow themselves to be put into such a position. 

Always fight back. Always. There is honour in death if you did. 

Since his arrival here, Ronon took to occasionally watching the various teams go through the gate. He noticed that they all had their own little rituals. He saw that some prayed to a God or various gods depending on their religion, if they had any. 

He noticed Teyla saying a prayer to the Ancestors, McKay just tutted and looked bored, and Sheppard whispered his own private mutterings under his breath before signalling to Lorne with a curt nod of his head.

Lorne stepped forward and addressed everyone in front of him and Sheppard.

“Okay people! Here’s the situation! There could be survivors in need of our help! There could be people who the Wraith missed and we’re going back to Olesia to get them. Eldon is taking us to some shelters he knows of in the city, so on the way there, keep familiarising yourselves with the layout in case of separation. Barnes, Kemp and Devon, I want you to remain at the jumpers. We are going in hot, there will be Wraith. They will have fed recently and will therefore be much more resilient to weapons fire. So do not engage with the Wraith unless you absolutely have to! Keep to the assigned routes you’ve been given, conserve your ammo and remain vigilant. Any sign of trouble, if the Wraith discover us or look to overrun us, return to the puddle jumpers immediately. Now, there may be a chance that there are more survivors than we can take on…if that happens, Colonel Sheppard, myself and Doctor Beckett will…we will advise on who we can take. Is everyone clear on what I’ve just told you?” 

"Yes sir!” 

“Good. Remember, stick together folks, guard each other’s back…don’t let anyone fall behind. We can do this.”

“Yes sir!”

“Let’s move out!” Sheppard commanded. 

That was some speech. Ronon had given and heard many of those before, but hearing it from Lorne…it was impressive. Ronon was quite taken back by it. 

“Huh.” His head bobbed with approval.

“Stir something within, did it?” 

Ronon was startled out of his trance as Carson nudged him lightly in the side with rather a lot of rucksacks and other medical bags he had loaded upon his tiny person. 

“What?” 

“Ach! The motivational mission speech, every soldier loves it. You certainly did, there was even a wee glint in your eye!” 

“No, there wasn’t!” 

Carson laughed and again swayed under the weight of the bags. “If you want to keep tellin’ yourself that, by all means carry on, but I gave you orders to rest that leg up for a wee while. So don’t get any ideas whilst we’re away.” 

It was bad enough that on his first mission for Atlantis, he was shot in the leg with an arrow and had to stay behind for the rescue, but Carson was right.

Something did stir within.

He wasn’t ready for this. It was too soon. 

Lorne wanted him to talk. Ronon had, to Teyla and to Carson but Evan Lorne was the very last person he couldn’t open himself up to.


	5. 300

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon nearly ruins everything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! 
> 
> It has been a while since I've posted, but I've been busy in my other fandoms and RL is taking its toll as usual. Anyhoos, here is the next chapter for those still interested. 
> 
> Warning: There are some 'consent' issues in this chapter. Please be aware.
> 
> __________________

It wasn’t as many as he hoped, but the rescue party came back with the only survivors they could find, the youngest being a four year old boy who had clung to Lorne as he flew the puddle jumper all the way home. One of Lorne’s hands controlled the jumper and the other secured the orphan tightly to him.

The journey back had felt it had been done purely on thought, for Lorne didn’t recall using half the controls that he usually had to when flying the thing. He put it down to fatigue and the fact that he was holding the boy; he must have used all the controls. 

Eldon had managed to direct the teams to a shelter beneath the city, it took them through some wooded areas but it was hidden enough the Wraith didn’t know, at least not until they were on their way back. There had been some confrontations and the Wraith did prove tough to eliminate and it really didn’t help matters when it tipped down with rain. It was torrential. Everyone was drenched through to their skin and the wet muddy ground made running more difficult. It was an ordeal, it was difficult, but Sheppard and Lorne directed and made sure everyone got back to the jumpers okay. A few people were injured, a couple of the marines and McKay sustained minor injuries, whilst some of the Olesians needed Carson’s expertise on the way back. 

Lorne had hoped for much more, thirty people weren’t enough when there had been thousands of people living there, but he realised if there had been more, they wouldn’t have been able to save everyone. Eldon had been a great help and it was down to him that they found the people they did rescue. Upon returning to Atlantis, when Lorne saw the proud approval on Sheppard and Weir’s faces, when McKay and the marines gave him the thumbs up, he tried to make his smile genuine. Only Teyla and Carson appeared to be thinking the same thing as he, their saddened weak smiles said it all. 

They should have saved more people.

They should have been able to at least save the little boy’s parents who were grabbed by the Wraith, but they couldn’t, so Lorne stayed with Ioin—his name was all the boy could say—held his hand whilst the doctors checked him over, washed him clean from the mud and remained holding his hand until both of them fell asleep in the infirmary. Neither of them slept well, Lorne kept waking up feeling Ioin’s terror through his squeezing grip and hearing his cries and moans, it impossible for Lorne to rest. 

Lorne had done this for his eldest nephew, when Matthew had been sick and he been there for his sister’s boy when he had bad dreams, but his dreams were nothing compared to what Ioin was going through. The Wraith were real, these bad dreams for Ioin were not something that could be helped with the utterance of _‘they’re just nightmares’_ or _‘everything is going to be okay.’_

Lorne hoped that the Wraith would never make it to Earth. He was more than determined. He was going to make sure it didn’t happen.

Lorne didn’t want to leave the boy’s side, but Carson made him return to his own quarters for a proper and unbroken sleep, assuring him that he would keep him apprised of Ioin’s condition. 

Lorne went to bed and he closed his eyes, but the heightened fear he had for Earth and his family and about every civilization in this galaxy who had suffered because of the Wraith, prevented him from getting any sleep. 

Then Lorne couldn’t help but think of Ronon again. Lorne had disliked him and distrusted Ronon from the moment they met. He thought the worst of him whilst knowing that Ronon had suffered too. They fought, they screwed, it was all so messed up and Lorne couldn’t distinguish or settle on any clear definite feelings towards him. He liked Ronon and hated him. He was attracted and repelled. He pitied him, he felt sorry for him knowing that it was something Ronon didn’t want. Lorne also felt admiration. He admired Ronon for having lived so long on the run from the Wraith. Ronon was strong to have survived what he had been through. 

He had so many thoughts and opinions on this guy and they all conflicted. 

There were a number of Olesians survivors, including the hundreds of prisoners who Sheppard let escape to another world through the Stargate and while it was only hundreds out of thousands, it was better than none at all. It was better than being the only one. Knowing you were the only one of your race to survive was not something Lorne wanted to contemplate, but that was what Ronon had to deal with every minute of every day. 

Especially now. 

Lorne was tempted to seek Ronon out, but not for comfort on any of their parts. Lorne wanted to vent this time. He wanted to show the Satedan that he wasn’t the only one who was angry. Lorne wanted to show him how he felt in the only way Ronon knew or seemed to understand. It had to be physical and it had to hard and raw. But no amount of fighting or sex would get rid of the pain he was going through. Not completely. 

Only time could do that. 

Lorne got up at of bed and stood at the small stain glass window that gave him such a colourful hued view of the city. He usually liked that view, but now he saw the reflection of his body, of the still healing bite marks Ronon had decorated over his skin. 

He touched over each one of them, barely able to recall getting them all in the frenzy of sensations he experienced at the time. Just thinking about it, was making his ass itch and yearn for more. 

But he had already told Ronon that they couldn’t do it again, not until there was a mutual understanding between them. 

He began to pace his room and eventually Lorne grabbed for his clothes and decided to go for a run. He did the course of a section of the city that always taxed everyone, including Sheppard and the younger fitter military personnel. He pushed himself beyond his own limits, beyond the burning stitches in his side and to the point where everything in his mind became a confused blur. 

Lorne blinked and the next thing he knew he was standing at the end of the corridor, looking down towards Ronon’s door. He stood there glaring at the door, swaying a little as he regained his breath, wondering what his intentions actually were towards Ronon. 

He did enjoy the sex. It was more brutal and confrontational than what he had experienced in the past, but that’s all it seemed to be, except for that one fleeting connection they shared, those few minutes of tenderness, gentleness. The hardness of it, the conflict and aggression they shared felt more normal for them, Ronon didn’t appear to want anything more. But then Ronon hadn’t said anything to Lorne. 

So until Ronon actually confided in Lorne, nothing more could come of it. Lorne had to focus solely on his job and not let Ronon (or himself) wind him up even further. He was going to concentrate on protecting Atlantis, Earth and the others from the Wraith. 

 

Lorne didn’t know how long he had stood in that corridor or how in the end he had resisted going to Ronon and walked away. 

Lorne really didn’t have a single clue as to why he ended up where he did. Of all the places in Atlantis, he had to come here. His stomach was rumbling and he was a little dehydrated…surely it would have made sense to go to the mess hall, instead of the place where the fancy holograms didn’t work because they drained power from the ZPM. 

Oh no. He wasn’t sleepwalking again, was he? Lorne pinched his arm. He felt awake and he had remembered going for his run and stopping near Ronon’s place but that was it. He hadn’t walked in his sleep since he was a child. He hoped it wasn’t starting again. 

No. That was ridiculous. He didn’t sleepwalk anymore. 

Lorne was just tired. He came here because it was secluded, strangely warm and no one else could find him here. Carson had told Lorne that it was a stunning sight when the holograms were activated and there had also been an interface of an Ancient. 

Right now, Lorne wished he could have spoken to the ancient hologram, to ask some questions about the Wraith and about how fucked up this galaxy was. Instead he just stood at the pedestal and glared at the dark room, lost in thought. 

“Sure would have been nice if you were working, right?” Lorne said to the console in front of him. Of course, there was no reply, there was nothing except the darkness and silence. 

Lorne yawned several times and walked around the room to keep himself awake, but in the end he simply leaned against the wall and sank slowly down to the floor. He sat there, his head bobbing a few times as he fought to stay awake and then finally he dozed off. 

_“Evan? Evan…wake up.”_

There was a flare of bright light, but it only made him screw his eyes tightly shut, he even rose his arm up to cover them as well, but a warm touch to his hand and a small shock like static made him jerk and forced him to look. The light was still very blinding and he blinked but the white light was all he saw and it was straining his eyes. He closed them again and placed his hands over them. 

_“Evan! This is not a good place for you to be sleeping. It’s cold and uncomfortable, you won’t get any rest here.”_

“Okay, I’ll get up!” He didn’t feel like doing it. He started to nod off again. 

_“Evan, go back to your quarters. Everything is going to be fine, the Wraith, the Ori…they will be dealt with. Evan?”_

“Mm?” 

_“Get up. Go to bed, either alone or with the Satedan. Be by the boy’s side. Help him. Whatever you decide, don’t stay here. You shouldn’t be here.”_

Lorne forced open his eyes. For a brief second, the room was alight with colour. He thought he saw someone standing over him, the faint outline of a woman, but when he dug the heel of his palm into his eyes, to rub the fatigue out and looked again, the whole room was in darkness and he was alone. 

“Okay Evan, you really need to get your head in gear. You’re losing it.” 

Finally, after getting to his feet and standing there for a few minutes yawning, Lorne decided to do what the woman’s voice in his head had suggested. He opted out of going back to his quarters and headed to the infirmary instead. Perhaps Carson can take a look at him again, especially if he was sleepwalking and hearing voices. 

Ioin was asleep when Lorne reached the infirmary, but his face was contorted with the nightmares Lorne knew he was having. Doctor Keller and a few of the Olesians were standing by the bed, whispering softly but they stopped and smiled when they noticed Lorne. The three Olesian women approached Lorne and made him sit down by the boy. He heard their soft whispers of thanks before leaving him and Ioin, as if it was normal and expected. 

Lorne tried to make himself as comfortable as possible in the hard chair by the bed, but as he leaned his head on the pillow next to Ioin, he drifted back to sleep again.  
He didn’t feel Keller place a blanket over him, but the next morning he woke after sleeping well and peacefully. He felt refreshed. It seemed Ioin did too. 

 

\-------

 

She was more than surprised when she saw Ronon Dex sprawled out on her couch. Kate had only gone out to grab a sandwich and some coffee and when she returned, there he was. 

He was slouched down low with his dreadlocks spilled over the back. His legs stretched as far as they could and his hands were crossed over his chest. Ronon was staring out of the window at the city, occasionally picking at his teeth with a finger. 

Doctor Heightmeyer sat down in her chair opposite him, placed her lunch on the table and smiled as she waited for him to initiate the conversation. Five minutes passed and Ronon said nothing. 

He shifted his position on the sofa a couple of times, he even looked at her, but he still said nothing, though it was quite clear that he wanted to. Kate had wanted to speak to him as soon as she was made aware that he was joining Sheppard’s team. An evaluation was essential to all members of the off world teams, but this man had turned up for his eval and said nothing. 

She had asked him questions, run him through the usual process, but he had remained silent. Two whole hours, he had just looked at her and unnerved her. She hoped that it wasn’t going to be the same. 

Kate waited. 

She didn’t touch her lunch. Her coffee went cold. 

For the next half an hour, Kate and Ronon sat together and looked out at the city, until finally, Ronon sat up straight and eyed the unopened sandwich on the table. 

“Are you going to eat that, Doc?” 

“We can split it, if you’re hungry.” Kate picked up the packet, ripped the film covering off and offered one half of the sandwich towards him. He was hesitant at first and then he delicately slipped one half out of the packet. Then he ravaged it all a within few seconds.

It caught Kate off guard when after he finished his mouthful he took a few deep breaths and began to talk, as if he was finally releasing a very heavy burden. 

“When the Wraith came to Sateda, I was part of a regiment, one of many, to help fight, to defend and safeguard our people. It was futile of course, we didn’t stand a chance, but we kept going…we fought with every fibre of our being. We fought with everything we had. My taskmaster…he was weak, he sent thousands of our men to their deaths to save himself, he dishonoured us all and left us to die, but we still resisted. 

When I was alone, I tried to find my family. I left my fallen brothers and went home to look for my mother and sisters, for the children. I was too late. I found my mother’s body in the street shrivelled to a wizened skeleton…the Wraith had fed on her. My sisters I later found were sliced open…cut down like meat. I tried to save my nephew and nieces, they were somehow still alive, they had hidden but they were discovered. A wraith patrol found them, dragged them into the streets and signalled for a dart to take them away. I heard their screams and cries of my name as I called out for them. I saw the looks on their faces just moments before the dart took them away. 

With no one left except Melena, I returned to the hospital where she worked, where there were still some people working to help the injured and dying. She didn’t want to leave, she wanted to stay and help but in the end, I saw the woman I loved burn and die in an explosion. 

A girl I rescued from the hospital after that explosion didn’t have much luck either. I tried to bring her with me, to somehow get to the gate, but I failed. We were captured. We were encased in cocoons and held there for days until they pulled her out. They made me watch as they fed off her.” 

Kate couldn’t hold back a gasp of _‘oh my god’_. Her hand touched at her mouth and she trembled, but Ronon didn’t pause in telling his story. 

“They…there was something wrong as she was fed upon. I couldn’t make out what, but when the Wraith came for me, when it tried to feed off me, it was shocked and angry. It was disgusted, as if I tasted wrong. I was a bad meal for them, I sickened them, probably so did the girl…so did the rest of my people…I don’t know. So, the Wraith cut into me, they put the tracker in me while I was still conscious, well I was to begin with. I passed out eventually from the pain.

When I came to they had put me back in the midst of the hell they had made my home into. I was near the Stargate, it was open….and as I saw the Wraith hunters coming after me, there was only one thing I could do. Run. I went through to another world, not realising then what it was they had put into me. 

I saw so many people die, on my home world and on those I visited. I felt like dying myself many times. Lack of sleep or rest, lack of food made me almost give in, but I’m Satedan, I don’t ever give in…not to the Wraith. I fought back. I killed as many as I could.” 

Ronon carried on, he told her story after story, each one as horrible and sad as the other and none were anything like she had ever heard of in her career. She had to hold back the tears a few times, but it wasn’t always possible. 

“What sleep I got…or get…it doesn’t rest me. I have the same dreams, the Wraith are always hunting me, I keep seeing all the bodies I leave behind. I dream of Melena, of what my life could have been like. I dream of her death. In seven years I don’t think I have been able to fully rest…not even here. Not even when I’m free of the tracker…I can’t seem to get any…peace.” 

Kate wanted to say something here, she needed to tell him that she could help, but the next shock came just as suddenly. 

“Though, after a few days of being on Atlantis, after my attempt to escape through the Stargate, I was angry, so mad. I spent all night in the gym, trying to vent it, trying to not feel and remember. When Major Lorne came in, I fought him. I beat him to a pulp and he did the same to me. We fought, it was invigorating and it hurt, but Lorne…he was a worthy opponent.”

“He was?” 

“Yeah…then I fucked him.” 

“Oh really?” Kate tried not to show her surprise, but it caught ever so slightly in her throat.

Ronon scowled at her for that reaction. “Twice.”

“Okay…” Kate regained most of her composure, but she felt her note pad shaking in her hand, just a little. “That’s…I wasn’t expecting you to say that. You…and Major Lorne?” 

“I’ve been cleared. Lorne wanted it, consented or whatever, and Doc Beckett said it was all right.”

“Are you going to see him again?” 

Ronon scowled again and rose to his feet. “Can I go?” 

“Now? Ronon you have just told me how you survived the culling of your world, how you were hunted for seven years! There is a lot to discuss. If you want…can I do anything for you?” 

“Can I go?” 

Kate didn’t know why he asked, but his tone and intimidating manner declared that he was going to, no matter what she said, and he certainly didn’t want her to do anything for him.

Heightmeyer nodded and found herself quite stunned by the session after he strolled out of her office. 

And she thought that dealing with Rodney and Laura sharing the same body was a tough one. This evaluation was going to take some time to do…it was also going to be incredibly difficult. 

She was surprised Ronon Dex was the way he was after all he had gone through, but then Evan Lorne could be some comfort to him. She hoped he was. 

Kate made a little note in her diary, to give Evan a call. 

 

\------- 

 

Later, Lorne took the opportunity to train with his teams. He taped up his hands, picked up two Bantos rods and took up position opposite Kemp, as the rest of their two teams mingled together around the edges of the gym to watch. The others had had their go at fighting one another, now it was the team leader’s turn. 

Lorne kept his long sleeved shirt on instead of stripping half naked like Kemp and some of the other guys. It wasn’t that he was the eldest out of them and shy about showing off his physique—as some of them pertained--he still had some bite marks from Ronon healing on his skin, and he didn’t want to explain them to the others. It wasn’t because he was ‘getting a little flabby’ in his old age either. 

“You are barely out of diapers, Rodriguez!” Lorne snapped back at the youngest marine there, grinning and pointing a rod directly at the young man. “Don’t push your luck! I’m your superior officer and calling me flabby and old could be construed as insubordination! Don’t think I won’t report you for slander too. I am most definitely not flabby or old!”

“So what do you call it?” asked another marine. “Love handles?” 

“That’s what your wife calls them!” 

After a few jeers and laughs from the others, Lorne and Kemp began to circle one another, spinning the rods, showing off, before they began to spar. It was a good and comfortably paced fight, Kemp was on top form and while Lorne knew he wasn’t at his own peak condition, he was managing to keep the upper hand over the younger man.  
Lorne heard more cheers from his team and taunts from Kemp’s and they spurred on, giving Kemp no leeway. The cheers made him smile as Kemp began to make more mistakes, but the Lieutenant completely failed to block a blow and Lorne struck a rod to his exposed side, collapsing the man to the floor. The fight continued on, Lorne again catching the Lieutenant off guard more than once. 

After several minutes, Kemp having dropped down to his knees after Lorne did a sweeping kick with his leg, Lorne backed away, panting for some breath. His shirt was sticking to his back with a hot sweat and his hair was wet and dripping. 

The cheering stopped, the room went silent. Lorne went to help Kemp back onto his feet, but his victory wasn’t what silenced everyone. The tension in the gym suddenly became thick and uncomfortable. Lorne saw the looks on everyone’s faces. He didn’t need to see who had just walked in. 

Sure enough, Lorne looked to the door and there was Ronon, strutting in and looking around at the others with an arrogant smug look on his face. He was wearing his new Athosian leathers. The thick dark brown waist coat showed all too clearly the scratch marks Lorne had given him. Lorne saw some of the men whispering and pointing at them.

“Here to challenge the Major at last, Dex?” asked Kemp, smirking at Lorne and clearly thinking that Lorne was about to get his comeuppance. Ronon completely ignored him and walked directly into the centre of the gym, his dark eyes focused intently on Lorne. 

Lorne knew what he wanted…for he was already feeling it too. The work out from the fight was intensifying it more. 

“You know that kid can’t stay here on Atlantis.” Ronon said, picking up Kemp’s dropped rods and twirling them round in his hands and swiping the air with hard swings. 

“I know,” Lorne smirked. A new adrenalin was beginning to coarse through his veins in anticipation of this fight. He hadn’t done this with Ronon in days, though in the back of his mind something was telling him not to, because he knew what it would lead to. “We’ll stay in touch when the Olesians find a new home.” 

“Is that new home really going to be any safer than their last one?” 

“We’re gonna do our best to make it safe.”

“You believe that you can? You’re not going to be there all the time to protect him, or keep any of those survivors safe. The Wraith will find them. One day, they will find them.”

“Then we’ll resist the Wraith. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do, according to you?” 

“Yeah,” Ronon nodded “so come on then. Show me how you will resist.” 

He should resist this fight. He should refuse, end this session and leave. Already his body was reacting and hoping. 

Lorne lunged. 

The clashing sounds of the wooden rods rang in his ears. Ronon blocked every one of his strikes and to everyone’s surprise, Lorne did the same to his. It was a flurry of movement, so swift and smooth that it was impossible for anyone to clearly see what was going on. 

Lorne wasn’t consciously thinking about his moves, it all came out of instinct. He felt the strain of his muscles, the sweat now pouring off him. He felt his lungs gasping for breath and the reverberations of the rods through his body as they connected with Ronon’s. He heard the utterances of surprise from those watching, so he pushed himself harder. 

One of his rods caught Ronon on the shoulder at the same time Lorne’s shin was struck. They both staggered back, Lorne was beyond dazed and more than a little surprised that he had managed to keep up with Ronon where no one else had, but as he went to get back to the fight, he wasn’t surprised when Ronon knocked one of the rods out of his hands. 

Ronon was nine years his junior, he was fitter, stronger…it was obvious he would win. 

The other rod slipped from his fingers and when it clattered to the ground, Lorne felt himself being lifted up in a hefty tackle and then he was slammed down to the floor. All the air was knocked from his lungs and he gasped and hacked, feeling a stinging sensation in his eyes and chest. He rolled a couple of times and then lay on his side trying to breathe. When things began to feel better, when he had more equilibrium someone aided Lorne into a sitting position. A hand rested on his back for support. 

“Major! Are you okay sir?” 

Not really. He was winded, but as he attempted to regain normal breathing, a strong arousing scent filled his nostrils, a heavy natural and potent smell that he knew all too well. Lorne’s head flopped from side to side in a daze, he knocked against a bare shoulder and he could practically taste Ronon on his mouth. He inhaled deeply and swayed once again. 

“Yeah…yeah I’m okay.” He croaked.

As the haziness in his eyes cleared, he looked around and saw Ronon kneeling right next to him, his hand resting on his back. Kemp and the others were bending over him, looking concerned. Ronon was trying to look worried about him, but Lorne knew he was pissed. His eyes were dark, his mouth clenched shut keeping in the anger he was feeling that Lorne had nearly bested him. 

Lorne couldn’t help but smile knowing that. 

Ronon helped Lorne to his feet and helped keep him stable as he still wobbled slightly. His men were all congratulating him, saying how well he fought against Ronon and Lorne could feel the tension in the other man’s body, he really didn’t like that Lorne put up more of a fight. 

“I think this session is at an end folks.” Lorne wheezed, clinging to Ronon for more support “Go hit the showers, or grab something to eat. We’ve got inventory to do this afternoon, Dr Weir insists.” 

The groans made Lorne smile. Every one hated doing inventory but someone had to do it and Weir had asked Lorne to assign a team. So he did. Sometimes it paid being the third in command of Atlantis. 

With the others all gone, Lorne slipped his hand away from Ronon and shrugged off the other man’s arm. He nearly careened into the wall, but Ronon pulled him back up right, his fingers tugging at the sleeve of Lorne’s shirt. 

“I see you’ve totally ignored Carson’s advice.” Lorne said, looking at Ronon’s leg. “Weren’t you supposed to stay off it?” 

“I’ve dealt with worse. It’s nothing.” 

“I’m sure. Want to tell me about it?”

No. Ronon wasn’t going to tell him anything. He had come to the gym for a fight and he had got one, not one to his liking, but it was a fight. Now, with Ronon in such proximity, Lorne instinctively knew what he wanted next. He wanted it too. 

Ronon moved in closer, his eyes were fixated, they were wanting. Ronon nudged his arm against Lorne then pushed him with his chest. He pushed him several times until Ronon used his full bulk to coax and manoeuvre Lorne against the wall. There he slammed a hand directly by the side of Lorne’s head and pinned him there using his body. 

Ronon’s second hand rested on the other side of Lorne’s head and Ronon coaxed for more, he rubbed himself against Lorne, causing a heat and aching friction between them in the hopes that Lorne would react in the way he wanted.

All Lorne could do was close his eyes and try to think of anything but how much this man was turning him on, and how much he wanted to rip those damned leathers right off of him. Lorne groaned as Ronon bowed his head down low and just like before, he began to take long drawn inhalations, dragging his nose, sniffing, over his sweating neck and breathing in his scent. 

A wet lavish tongue swept along his jaw and licked around his ear and when Lorne heard a deep rumble of approval from Ronon, the sound nearly made his legs give out. Ronon kept him up. He dropped both his hands to grab at Lorne’s hips, one snaking up beneath his clammy shirt and clawing up across his abs. Ronon’s fingers then began to roam over his body, making it even harder for Lorne to breathe as he shuddered at the soft but teasing caresses. 

Lorne tried to fight, to resist. He was helpless as Ronon continued to nuzzle and bite around his jaw, licking the drops of sweat dripping down his neck and making Lorne clench and shudder. It was only when Ronon’s hand slipped down into his pants, when his fingers dipped beneath the elastic of his boxers and grazed against his cock that Lorne gasped and clung tightly to Ronon’s back. He involuntarily jerked against the taller man and tried to angle his head to take a taste of Ronon too, but then Ronon’s hungry declaration of _‘now’_ made him change his mind. 

“No!” 

Ronon shoved him hard in retaliation to the rejection, his hand squeezed. Lorne gasped. 

“Stop!” Lorne cried. 

“Make me.” 

He couldn’t, not when Ronon continued to touch and bite him, at least not at first. It felt impossible to resist. Ronon was very overpowering, the bulk of him and the smell, power and sex radiating from him, was making Lorne lose all grip on reality. He would have gladly allowed Ronon to take him, right here and now, he wouldn’t care that anyone else could walk in and catch them, but the rational part of him knew that it was wrong. 

He became angry. 

“I said no!” Lorne pushed, he wrenched Ronon’s hands off of him and gave him another shove, wobbling and nearly collapsing without Ronon’s body keeping him upright. “Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell is the matter with you?” 

Ronon didn’t respond, though there was great confusion etched on his face. 

“You would have really gone ahead with it?” Lorne spat, edging away from the wall and stumbling nearer to the door. “What part of stop didn’t you understand?”

Again Ronon said nothing, unable to comprehend why Lorne had stopped it. He looked lost for a moment, like an adolescent who didn’t know what he had done wrong. He put further distance between him and Lorne and tried to figure out why Lorne was rejecting him. 

“I said we can’t do this anymore!” Lorne said, wiping his brow and pulling up his pants from where they had slipped slightly. “This isn’t right! This isn’t good for either of us!” 

Still Ronon said nothing. He just huffed and puffed, he paced the room with his fists clenched. God knew what was going through his mind. Lorne wanted to know and forced himself to calm down, to be more rational and more reassuring to Ronon. 

He allowed Ronon to pace, to reach a point where he was reasonably calm himself, at least when he stopped and stood glaring at Lorne with what restraint he had left. 

“You know what…I’m not perfect either. I get it!” Lorne sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I enjoy sex just like everyone else…hell, I’ll admit I never thought that being with another guy, having sex with you would be great. It was fucking great, but it’s clear that we’re not doing it because we like each other, or that we have feelings for each other. This is something different for you but I feel like I’m nothing but a convenience. I’m like a band aid to make you feel better for a while. I’ve allowed this all to happen and I know I initiated the second time—that was the booze and my own lack of judgement—but we can’t go on. I’ve got a reprimand marked on my record, Ronon. I had to sit through two scientific mumbo jumbo lectures as punishment for our actions and I don’t want to do that again. So until we come to some kind of agreement, a way to not let this interfere, I’m saying no.” 

Ronon still said nothing.

“Are you going to disregard what I said and carry on anyway?” 

“I want to.” 

Lorne wanted him to as well, which was just another reason why Lorne couldn’t allow this to continue. It was taking everything he had not to give in. 

“No more. I mean it. Too much is at stake and the consequences won’t just affect us.” 

Lorne headed for the door, but was startled when his hand was grabbed and he was pulled round to face Ronon, who squeezed their hands desperately. He needed help, he wanted this…he wanted Lorne to help him, but he would never say the words. Instead he said the wrong thing, the thing he didn’t mean. 

“I could make you. You couldn’t stop me.” 

Ronon’s other hand grabbed hold of Lorne’s neck. 

Lorne said nothing. He only glared at Ronon in shock as the fingers began to squeeze. It might have been difficult to breathe with Ronon holding him like that, but Lorne felt new and almost unbearable pain. It felt like he had been stabbed in his chest. Ronon wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

That really hurt. That hurt more than he realised it ever would. 

Tears began to form in his eyes. He closed them and waited for Ronon to go ahead, pin him against the wall and have his own way again, but after what seemed like ages, when Ronon’s hand dropped from his neck, Lorne gasped and opened his eyes. 

Ronon had turned away and was pacing the room, seething. He kicked out at the equipment, booting several pieces and sending them flying. 

Yet every time he choked, it wasn’t on anger. 

The shows of guilt and remorse on his face were intense. Ronon looked so ashamed. 

Lorne still hurt, but it eased somewhat. Ronon barely managed to control himself and while Lorne was grateful, he couldn’t stand to be here. He walked out of the gym and towards the shooting range. Fuck inventory with the others, they can do that themselves. 

Lorne could still hear the angry yells and the crashing of gym equipment all the way down the corridor. Lorne ignored it and let the others running past him to deal with it. 

 

\--------

 

It had taken nearly a whole week, but he found two ideal worlds.

McKay had told the good news to most the Olesians. He had one last person to tell and sure enough when he walked into the room, there was Lorne sitting at the table smiling and laughing with the boy, reading a comic. 

He had never figured Lorne to be the kind of guy who got on well with kids, (or that he liked comics) but seeing him talking to Ioin, was clearly a natural thing for him. Rodney, however, was on edge as he approached them. Rodney didn’t like kids, they made him uncomfortable. 

“Hey, Lorne.” Rodney held up a hand in greeting. Lorne smiled back.

“Hey, McKay.” 

Rodney looked to the kid who was gazing up at him with wide eyes, expecting him to say _‘hey’_ to him as well. Rodney waved a few fingers, nodded and grunted a reluctant acknowledgement at the boy. 

“What’s up, McKay?” Lorne asked putting down the comic. 

“Oh! Good news, Major!” Rodney grinned and held out the tablet he was holding, which was displaying a planet and its information “We’ve finally found an ideal place for the Olesians to settle. Well, actually it’s two separate places, not all the prisoners want to inhabit the same place as the people who sentenced them to death by Wraith and who can blame them?”

The smile disappeared from Lorne’s face and shortly afterwards, noticing how upset he was, Ioin’s smile faded too. The child was clearly perceptive, even though he didn’t fully understand why Lorne was sad. 

“That was good news, Lorne.” Rodney said, tapping at the tablet and the planet for added emphasis. “Good! You’re supposed to be happy. Why aren’t you happy?” 

“In a way I am.” Lorne sighed as Ioin climbed upon his lap to play with his dog tags. “But I’m…I guess I’m going to miss this guy. More than I realised.”

“I don’t understand why. It’s not as if he’s your actual kid.” Rodney stepped back a couple of paces when he saw the evil look Lorne put in his direction. “I’m sorry, didn’t know you’d grown attached to him, but their leaving is inevitable. The Olesians wanted their own world, they couldn’t stay on Atlantis and this is far better than any. The kid will love it there, it’s got trees to climb and places to run about…if he likes that kind of thing.”

“Do you have kids, Rodney?” 

McKay shook his head. “My sister, Jeanie has one. A girl I think. Not entirely sure.” 

“I got two nephews, one the same age as Ioin. Their dad died in action shortly after the youngest was born, and before I joined the SGC I tried to be there for them as much as I could. I’m not there for them now, but I guess I can be for Ioin. Hearing you’ve found a new home for the Olesians is great, but I fear for Ioin’s safety just as much as my own nephews.”

“The other Olesians can look after him!” McKay said “but hey, that doesn’t mean you can’t visit. We still have to go to M7G-677 to check on the kids there, well others do. Look, if you’d like, I can have a word with Weir and we can arrange it for your team to be the ones to do the check-ins on them…hell, if you feel that much about the little tyke—though I can’t imagine why-- how about I put your team in charge of the settlement? It’ll be days before they’re properly settled in. It will give you extra time.” 

Ioin seemed to like that idea. He grinned and nearly throttled Lorne, who smiled and nodded, but McKay could see how surprised the man was. He had not expected that from McKay at all. 

“Thanks, McKay….that’s…I never thought of that. I assumed Sheppard and you guys would see to it. That’s pretty cool of you.” 

“Cool? Really?” 

“Yeah, it is.” 

McKay nodded, pleased that such a term like ‘cool’ was applied to him by someone else for a change. 

“Yeah. It was. Okay…I’ll go and tell Weir.” 

“No. Don’t go yet. Tell us more about this world you’ve found for them, show Ioin his new home.” 

Rodney tensed. “Are you sure?”

“Pull up a chair.” 

“Fine, but as long as the kid doesn’t touch me, or drool on my tablet.”

“McKay? Pull. Up. A. God. Damned. Chair.”

McKay did as he was told and sat down next to Lorne, thankful that the Major still kept a hold and control on the boy. He began to explain all about the new planet they had found for the Olesians and Ioin was absolutely fascinated and excited. 

“Are you coming with us?” the boy asked, pulling again on Lorne’s dog tags. 

“Sure am, though I won’t be staying with you forever. It will take a while to get you and your people settled in so I’ll be here to help you. Then after that I’ll come and visit.”

“Won’t they miss you here?” Ioin grabbed at the tablet. 

McKay snatched the tablet back, but the boy was quick and got a hold on one end and started a furious a tug of war between the two of them. McKay was so distraught about ‘the grubby little mitts on the screen’ that he didn’t even hear Lorne mutter to himself. 

“One person will…but he’ll get over it.” 

 

\------------ 

 

Ronon’s mood over the next week and a half wasn’t the best. 

Lorne being absent was hugely noticeable for him and it angered Ronon. 

He didn’t think that he would miss Lorne at all, he thought he would be glad the major was gone, he even denied it to Weir and Beckett when they suggested that he missed him and he refused Heightmeyer when she tried to coax him for a ‘friendly chat’. But he did miss the older man, he wanted to apologise about what happened, he felt terrible for it but no one could help him feel better. Sheppard sparred with him, as did Teyla, but that only ever made him more pent up and frustrated. 

He needed to be physical in a different way. The gym and the shooting range could only do so much, as could the running, and while there were people he could have slept with, he couldn’t bring himself to find someone else. The women were out of the question, even those who he thought could handle him he dismissed straight away, because a woman wasn’t what he needed or wanted. 

Even other men were rejected, because he simply didn’t feel the urge or want to be with them. They didn’t get him going like Lorne did, so with the Major gone, it made Ronon even more on edge. The nightmares seemed to be getting worse as well. 

The only other solution was to go on a mission where he could kill Wraith, or fight and not have to worry about injuring them or killing them. 

Ronon wasn’t surprised when Sheppard begged for a mission too. After a particularly brutal sparring session, Sheppard declared he had enough and Ronon followed the fatigued Colonel to the command centre where Rodney, Weir and Zelenka were standing by one of the screens. 

Sheppard stormed straight up to them and slammed his hands on Zelenka’s shoulders, squeezing them with urgency and desperation. The Czech scientist whimpered under the grip. 

“Tell me we have a mission!” Sheppard pleaded, letting Zalenka go and looking up at the screen to try and figure out what the hell was being displayed through all the sweat still dripping in his eyes. “Ronon is driving me insane! We have to give him something to shoot at…we have to give me something to shoot at! Anything! Are there any Wraith to kill?”

Ronon slammed a hand on Zelenka’s shoulder and the poor man nearly buckled underneath the blow. “I need to fight.” 

“You’re in luck, Colonel, Ronon,” Weir said “I was about to call you to prepare your team. We’ve got some addresses from the database that could prove interesting.”

“You reckon we can we shoot Wraith?” asked Ronon. 

Sheppard nodded. “Can we? Chewie here really needs to beat someone up and I’d like it not to be me. An idle Ronon is not good for morale, or my health.” 

“Well, I don’t know about that.” Weir said. 

“It’s possible,” Zelenka added looking fearfully at Ronon and moving away from him once his hand let go. “While the addresses we have were hinted at being important Ancient outposts with great potential for technological finds…there might be something to shoot at. Wraith, maybe.”

“Great!” Sheppard clapped his hands together once with joyful exclamation. “I’ll tell Teyla to meet us in the jumper bay once I’ve changed and had a shower.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Ronon beamed happily. Sheppard and the others looked surprised, but they were actually pleased to see Ronon happy about a mission. Sheppard gave him a pat on the arm. 

“Meet you there in half an hour?” 

“Oh hey…” McKay stepped forward, holding up a finger to indicate he had something to say. “Can we make it a full hour? I’ve not had lunch.” 

Sheppard looked to Ronon, and when the response was both men’s stomachs rumbling, John nodded. 

“Sure. Shower first, then lunch and then we’ll meet in the jumper bay. Is that all right with you Elizabeth?” 

“Of course. You have a go for lunch.”

At last. Ronon walked out of the command centre with Sheppard, greatly anticipating a worthwhile mission and payback to the Wraith. 

“Oh, word of advice, Ronon?” McKay’s address made him and Sheppard stop and turn to face the scientist. 

“What?” 

“Best keep lunch light. I’ve seen how you eat. A heavy meal before a mission on a puddle jumper, especially with Sheppard’s piloting skills, not good.” 

McKay grinned and scooted off quickly before Ronon could threaten him. Sheppard patted Ronon lightly on the arm again. 

“If we’re really lucky, we might get to shoot him.” 

 

\------------------

 

“Rejoice and drink, Ronon! You’re not alone!” 

300\. 

The mission to the outpost had revealed some kind of weapon that had got both Rodney and Sheppard excited. A research team was sent back to investigate this new technological find, but Ronon was bored. He was left back on Atlantis to get even more bored and frustrated. 

There was no Wraith to shoot. No enemy to fight. 

300\. 

He had instead gone with Teyla to Belkan on some kind of Athosian trading deal. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it did get him off Atlantis.

But never had he expected to learn that his friend…a member of his own regiment was still alive. His heart soared at the prospect of it, but he didn’t get his hopes up too much in case it was false, that someone was using Solen’s name. 

The joy of seeing Solen sitting at that table—completely hashing up a good story-- nearly made him retch, he could barely contain himself. The crushing hug both given and received between the two men could have broken ribs, but it was brief and Ronon was able to compose himself as he introduced Teyla. 

300\. 

There were over 300 of his people who had survived the cull. He was not alone. He was reunited with one of his best friends and as they drank and drank, inebriation slowly taking them over, Ronon felt overjoyed. He felt at last, he could allow himself to rest. He could finally start over again. 

While he knew that none of his family survived, no one could have saved his nephew and nieces, there could well be others who survived. Hemi? Ari? Tyre? 

300\. 

Ronon asked, but Solen didn’t know about the others. Solen mentioned a few people he did know were alive and from that point on, story after story, drink after drink, Ronon did indeed rejoice. He laughed. He actually laughed. 

This was the best day he had experienced in years. 

To add to the good news, Solen told him Kell was alive. 

He’d get to kill something today after all.

 

\----

 

Lorne emerged through the event horizon of the Stargate with the rest of the settlement team, feeling a satisfied sense of coming home. It was late, the gate room was illuminated with low lighting, and only a handful of soldiers and technicians were at their stations. The place was peacefully quiet, not bustling with commotion normally seen through the day shifts. 

What was surprising was seeing Doctor Weir standing there waiting for them. It would have been one of the other lieutenants who took charge of the night shifts, but it wasn’t an unpleasant sight to see Elizabeth. 

“Welcome back, Major. You’ve been missed around here.” 

“It’s good to be back, Ma’am.” Lorne smiled for her and shucked off his backpack so he could get a little weight off his shoulders. “The Olesians are finally comfortable with their new home and they’re all set up with a code, so if they need to contact us, we’ll know it’s them.” 

“You’ve done a fantastic job, Major. I’m really pleased.” 

She didn’t seem to be. Weir looked greatly troubled, even though she was smiling back at him. She also looked tired. 

“You and your men go and get some rest. You can give me your final report in the morning.” 

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Lorne nodded to the others who had come back with him and they all immediately trooped out of the room. “Though, forgive me for asking, Doctor Weir, you look as if you need some rest yourself. Is everything okay? Has there been some trouble whilst we’ve been away?” 

“Not concerning the Wraith, thankfully.” Weir sighed and picked up Lorne’s pack. She shook her head when Lorne tried to take it away from her, making it clear she meant to carry it for him as they began to walk out of the gate room too. 

Lorne hoped it wasn’t anything to do with Ronon. Whilst he had been away, Lorne had felt oddly at peace and hadn’t thought much of the Satedan and what had happened. When he did though, it was only on a few nights and when he was alone in his bed, but a thorough wash in the lake in the morning quickly made him forget Ronon. 

Now he was back, he was a little on edge. How had things been without him? 

“There was an incident with some Ancient technology on an outpost.” Weir said. “It resulted in the destruction of three quarters of a solar system.”

“Oh my god! Is…” 

“Fortunately for us…they were uninhabited planets.” Lorne breathed a sigh of relief. “But I’m far from happy about it. I can’t sleep as I’ve been thinking about how much worse it could have been, so I decided to greet you when you came back. You have done exceptional work with all of this, Major Lorne. I am very pleased with you.” 

“Thank you, Ma’am. If you’d like, I can give you my report now?” 

Weir was just about to reply when her hand rose up to her earpiece. There was a bleep as she activated it, followed quickly by a second as she tapped it to open the comms to Lorne’s earpiece as well. 

_“Doctor Weir…this is Teyla. Would you please report to the mess hall?”_

“This is Weir. Is something wrong, Teyla?” 

_“It’s Ronon. He’s asking for you.”_

Oh no. Lorne didn’t want to come back to this. 

“I’m on my way, Teyla.” 

The sensible thing to have done was to have taken his pack from Weir and gone straight back to room, but instead he took the pack from Weir and followed her. 

Neither of them expected the large greeting upon their arrival to the mess hall.


	6. Mutual Arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon has to decide if he wants to stay. Lorne isn't sure if he wants him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it's taken a while, but here's the next chapter. 
> 
> Not my best, but I hope those who are still interested will like it. There might be a considerable gap between the next chapter though as I'm in the middle of writing it. As I'm also in the process of writing (trying to..) for my main Avengers fic as well... yeah. It could take a while. But be assured I shall try to keep up with it! 
> 
> Thanks for all you are still reading this! 
> 
> \----------

“Doctor Weir!” 

Elizabeth didn’t have time to defend herself. She was immediately engulfed by strong arms, lifted up off her feet, spun around in a circle and she was squeezed in a joyous hug. She was eventually dropped down to her feet again, but Ronon Dex didn’t let go of her. 

He was laughing. He was beaming such a bright smile that it felt like a completely different person to the one she met a number of weeks ago. The waft of the Athosian Ruus wine was coming off of him and the way he staggered clearly showed he was intoxicated, but that didn’t matter. Ronon Dex was happy.

“It is so good to see you!” Ronon drunkenly murmured against her neck. He squeezed her again and only released her when she patted him against his back in an urgent manner. 

Slightly dizzy, Elizabeth stepped away from him and found herself grinning just as much as he was. 

“It’s good to see you too, Ronon!” she replied, taking a quick look around the mess hall and taking in the others of her Atlantis team all drinking and laughing. There were two large barrels of Ruus wine, which military and civilian personnel were dipping large cups into. “What’s the occasion?” 

“300!” Ronon bellowed, which got a cheer from the crowd. 

“300?” 

“My people! There are 300 Satedan survivors!”

Oh! Elizabeth felt overjoyed by hearing that news and quite gladly accepted a cup of wine from Teyla. There were more cheers and Elizabeth couldn’t help but join in. She didn’t need to ask how this happened because Ronon immediately began to tell her the story of how he and Teyla found his old friend. 

“Celebrate with me, Doctor Weir!” Ronon said, stumbling slightly into a table. He frowned at the table for being there before smiling again. “I’m not alone anymore!”

“I shall indeed… but I won’t have too much, I have a city to run.” Elizabeth raised her voice so everyone else could hear her. “Those who have duty shifts tomorrow will also need to curb their celebrations a little.” 

There were a few disgruntled moans at that, but Weir was right and she watched a few sullen people put back their mugs and walk away. She wasn’t going to have hung over staff on duty. 

“Does this mean that you will be leaving us?” Weir asked, or tried to as Ronon went around hugging everyone else. She asked him again as he dipped his empty mug into the wine. 

A drunken confused scowl crossed over the Satedan’s face as he thought about it. He could stay with Solan and find the others… a small smile pulled his lips as the idea appealed to him, but then Weir noticed his gaze linger on someone behind her. The smile broke out into a very dirty grin. 

Ronon downed the wine in one go, some spilling down his chin and neck. He wiped the remains away with the back of his hand and discarded the mug, before walking straight up to Lorne. 

_Oh dear._ Weir wasn’t sure if a drunk Ronon Dex confronting Lorne was such a good idea right now. The young man was posturing in a way that thankfully only Lorne, Teyla and she were noticing. 

Just like with everyone else, Ronon hugged Lorne. He nearly picked the Major up off the floor but Weir noticed the grab of his hand on Lorne’s ass and she heard what he growled into Lorne’s ear. 

“I am going to take you back to mine and fuck you to within an inch of your life again… I am going to make you scream so much the whole city will hear us.” 

_Oh no._ Weir felt her face blush slightly. She thought…Lorne had assured her that this thing between the two of them was finished with. Clearly not, but then it wasn’t her decision or her business if the two wanted to carry on with this relationship, except if it got in the way of their work. 

Lorne and Ronon were looking at each other as if they were about to devour one another right here and now, the lust was oozing off of them. Elizabeth took a few steps forward, ready to intervene, but was surprised when Lorne shook his head and took Ronon’s hand off his ass. 

“You’re drunk,” Lorne said. “Go to bed, Ronon.”

“I’ve not finished. I’m not nearly drunk or euphoric enough!” Ronon chuckled, staggered and pulled Lorne with him in a few disorientating circles. “I’m not alone, Major! My people are alive and I want to celebrate!”

“And I’m pleased for you, Dex.” Lorne smiled genuinely as his fingers lightly squeezed Ronon’s arm. “I really am so pleased and happy for you but…” 

“But? But what?” Ronon hugged him again, he rested his face against Lorne’s neck and laughed another dirty laugh. “Do you want to join me in bed? We can celebrate in our own way.” 

If anyone else had heard that offer, thankfully no one said, but Lorne pried himself away from Ronon and shook his head. 

“No.” He turned away and Weir heard him murmur “I can’t.” 

Lorne then picked up his bag and walked out of the mess hall. 

Weir breathed a sigh of relief, but that relief didn’t last long as Ronon clearly didn’t like being rejected. He swayed a few more times and went to follow Lorne however Teyla managed to stop him. 

“I can take you to bed, Ronon,” she said, with a stern and authoritive tone. “Where you will sleep… alone. Yes?” 

He didn’t argue with Teyla. Which was surprising. The Athosian woman gave Ronon a glare that told Weir something else had happened on Belkan, something they weren’t ever going to discuss. 

For now, Weir was grateful to Teyla, steering the tall Satedan away from the mess hall. Everyone cheered when Ronon left, his own answering bellows of joy made them respond again and again. This volley of ‘bye!’ and cheers kept going until they couldn’t hear Ronon anymore. 

This day hadn’t been the best of days, what with Rodney having destroyed nearly a whole solar system, but Elizabeth couldn’t help but be happy for the Satedan. The news that not all his people had perished was great indeed, but what did that mean for him? For Atlantis? 

For Lorne? 

She would have to have a chat with Ronon about what he was going to decide now that he had found his people. 

 

\------------------

 

It must be some kind of an emergency to be woken like this. 

Kate had gone to bed early after a busy day dealing with those who were effected by Doctor Collin’s death. She did not expect to have someone knocking at her door and pressing the chime at 3am? 

Kate slipped out of bed and called out to her visitor that she was on her way. She pulled on her dressing gown and groggily walked over to the door. It opened and she was surprised to see Major Lorne standing there, looking lost. 

“Your quarters aren’t anywhere near mine, Major,” she said jokingly. “You’re a couple of floors out.” 

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Doc.” Lorne rubbed his eyes and gave her a look that reminded her of a sad puppy. “I’m… not sure what to do… I can’t sleep and I really need to talk to someone. I know it’s really late but I could do with your advice…?” 

“Of course, Major.” Kate brushed a lock of her hair out of her face and stepped aside to allow Lorne in. He hesitated, he looked afraid now, his hand was twitching slightly, but then he walked in quickly. “I have a feeling I know what this is about.” 

Lorne clearly didn’t know what to do. Sit, stand, pace or keep still… not that he could keep still. He seemed worried for intruding, the way he tried not to look at Heightmeyer’s personal things in her room, the shameful regret on his face. 

“Is it Ronon?” she asked, even though it was obvious. 

Lorne nodded and let out a huge sigh as he slumped down onto one of her dining chairs. Kate didn’t think that the major would be here for any other reason. Not at this time in the morning, especially after he had just returned from a long mission. 

“I am here for you, Major. How can I help?” 

“I…hope you can help. I’ve been away on this mission, thinking things will be fine, but as soon as I get back… things are all crazy! More so than when I left!”

“It’s all right. Tell me what happened with you and Ronon.” 

Just like Ronon had in his session, Lorne didn’t say anything at first. It took a few long minutes of him shifting in his chair before he could manage to speak and then all the words came out in a babble. 

“When I first met him, I didn’t like him. I really didn’t. I had some doubts about letting him come here to Atlantis, but Sheppard and Weir had already decided to let him stay. Fine, not my choice… but having him around actually makes me uncomfortable. Hell, it was clear he didn’t like me either, we kept avoiding each other if we met in passing, or one of us was in the mess hall or training room. There was this tension, this dislike that built up so much we ended up having a full blown fight. It felt like we were supposed to fight, it was going to happen and I let it happen. Reason and common sense just didn’t enter into our heads… we couldn’t avoid it. We had to do it and the fight… it… it was different from when I spar. It… Ronon… made my body react in a way it’s never done before, at least not during a fight, or not with a man.”

“What happened during this fight, Evan?”

“I got ….aroused. There was definite arousal fighting Ronon, when he had me pinned up against the wall…and it wasn’t just me. He was too.” 

“I see.” 

“Nothing happened, but I think if Sheppard hadn’t come in and broken us up, I think we would have. I would have let him do me right there and damn the consequences. Y’know? I really couldn’t help myself.”

“So Colonel Sheppard came in and broke up the fight.” 

Lorne nodded. “Even afterwards, in medical, there was the tension, this unavoidable desire to beat the shit out of each other, this physical need to do something. It wasn’t until later that night that Ronon came to my quarters and it finally happened. He touched me and just lost it. I had no damned control whatsoever but I wanted it. I wanted him. What Ronon did to me, it was far from gentle… he told me it wasn’t going to be. It was brutal… it hurt, it ripped me up, but for some screwed up reason I liked it. Ronon did things to me and I still want more. I try not to think about him and how he made me feel… on my mission there were a couple of times when I did… but I honestly thought that on returning to Atlantis, time apart from him, it would be all okay. It’s not okay! It is far beyond okay!! I’m here at 3am and it’s ridiculous, isn’t it?” 

“I wouldn’t say it is, Evan. I would say that you’re attracted to him and you both had consensual intercourse that pleasured you both. Yes? Or did it feel wrong to you? Did you hate any aspect of what Ronon did to you?” 

Lorne had to think about it for a moment. 

“No. Not as such.” 

“But?” 

“He used me. He was obviously hurting from losing his family and his people, but he used me to vent that hurt, I let him and I was okay with that. I wanted to help him, I wanted him to feel better and thought sure, why not let him? But how can I accept and allow his treatment of me and still be so angry towards him for it? I can’t let this carry on with him, doc!” 

“It’s okay to still be angry at him for treating you the way he does, Evan, but you have to remember yourself in this. You allowed this for Ronon’s wellbeing. What about yours? Remember there has to be limits to what you should allow Ronon to do with you.” 

“I’ve already told him that I don’t want to do it again.” 

“But you do want to be with him again?” 

“No!” Lorne smacked his palm against his head a couple of times. “Yes and no! I can’t allow it! For Ronon, it’s not about what I want. I don’t think he gives a rat’s ass about my needs or wants. I’m a convenient fuck for him.” 

Lorne grimaced in apology for using the harsh word, but Kate waved it off, she had heard worse from the Marines. 

“Evan, Ronon was grieving when he came here and he has been for seven years. He’s lost his family, everyone he has ever loved and known…he’s lost his home. He’s been on his own and believed he has been alone for years, running from the Wraith, constantly hunted with no time to rest or have the life he should have had. He’s been under a pressure and stress that neither one of us can contemplate. All he’s ever had to think about was himself. It was necessary for his survival. His needs are paramount to him and now he’s free of the tracker, he’s obviously picked you to help with his sexual needs, which have been impossible to satiate when he was a runner. Yes, he is venting when he is with you, it’s clear he didn’t want the emotional connection and so no one else, not even you, matters. It’s not possible for someone who’s gone through what he’s gone through to change seven years of instinct for surviving. It’s going to take time… but it will happen.” 

Lorne nodded. It made sense to him, but Kate knew that Lorne wanted to matter. 

“He never let me look at him…” Lorne said. “He wouldn’t let me kiss him or do anything for him… he didn’t want to connect with me. He did what he did and left.”

“You want to connect with him. You want to be something more with Ronon.” 

Lorne’s face scrunched up in disagreement, but then he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I dunno! I didn’t ask for any of this. I’ve got a great team under my command and I’ve built up a trust with them. I’m their CO… I have responsibilities, to them and to Atlantis, to everyone here and at home. I don’t want to be thinking of Ronon like this, not with the threat of the Wraith around. He’s… distracting me.” 

“Have you had sex with him more than once?”

Lorne nodded, as if he was embarrassed she had asked that question.

“My fault, my idea… my come on. I had a few beers and thought I could get him to talk, but it ended up being another fight. We wrecked his quarters and the fight ended in sex again. We wake up the next morning…together. He hasn’t left, he’s still with me and hugging me. Just when I think we’re getting closer, I go to kiss him and he snaps! He jolts and orders me out! I am so livid with him… but I can’t stop thinking about him, I’m jonesing for a guy who doesn’t want anything from me except my body. This can’t be healthy! Can it?”

“It could be, but at this moment, you two are wanting two different things, apart from the sex. You want intimacy…he doesn’t. To make this relationship work, the pair of you need to come to an agreement… set boundaries for what’s acceptable and what will work for both of you.” 

“I don’t need a relationship with him, Doc. It’s not that simple! I don’t have time for a relationship! I need to focus on my job. I broke the SGC’s regulations by allowing Ronon to have sex with me. Weir and Carson only know about us because I had to tell them… Cadman and Teyla found out but thank god those women are so understanding…but what if Sheppard, Caldwell or any of my men… any of the military on Atlantis find out about us? I won’t be taken seriously.”

“Evan… I don’t think…”

“Doc… you know as well as I do, because of DADT, I’ll be sent back to Earth and booted out of the Air Force. I can’t afford to have these feelings for Ronon and give into him! I know I should be stronger, I know I need to keep clear of him, but it’s not easy! He doesn’t make it easy. I don’t know what to do!” Lorne shot up from the chair and began to pace the room, ruffling his hair angrily as he did so. 

“But things have changed, haven’t they, Evan?” Kate asked, after watching the poor man striding up and down in a fit of panic for a couple of seconds. “Ronon’s found survivors of his race.”

“Yeah.” That got Lorne to stop and he smiled happily. “300 of his people survived. It’s great! I’m so pleased for him. He’s a little drunk now…”

“I know… I saw him celebrating earlier.”

“Well… hopefully he’s now fast asleep in his own bed. Look, Doc, I can’t have a relationship with Ronon. I can’t keep giving into what he and my bloody id wants! I can’t risk everything because I can’t keep my dick in my pants!” 

“Then perhaps Ronon needs to know about this.” 

“I’ve tried speaking to him… he doesn’t want to know!” 

“He might now. Things have changed. If you speak to him again, he might listen.” 

“He might not be staying on Atlantis. He’s got his people to go to… what’s keeping him here? It certainly isn’t me.” 

That was it. Apart from all his fears about being discharged, the thing that worried him the most was Ronon leaving. 

She knew what Ronon had gone through and she suspected that it would be difficult for Dex to tell Lorne about his past and everything he had lost, but the two of them had to make some go of it. They needed to help themselves before she could help them further. If… as Lorne said… Ronon stays. 

“I would speak to Ronon before he leaves,” Kate said standing up next to Lorne and touching lightly at his arm. “As for your concerns about DADT and your position on Atlantis… again, speak to Weir. Or the two of us could speak with Sheppard?”

“I er…. that… that would really help.” Lorne sighed heavily. “If I know Sheppard is okay with it, I would feel better. I’d feel great if he didn’t mind, but it doesn’t change anything else with Caldwell and the others…”

“Why don’t we take small baby steps? Start with trying to get some sleep, Evan.”

“I can’t sleep!” 

He wanted to talk more, he wanted to express so much more and Kate understood. If he wanted to, she would listen, but suddenly they both yawned at the same time and Lorne softly smiled.

“Maybe I might catch a few hours.”

“See if you can, or ask Carson for some medicinal aid if you feel it’s necessary. I personally suggest warm milk or a malt drink of some kind.” 

“Sure. Cheers. I’ll go, Doc. I’m sorry to keep you up… to wake you and bore you with…” 

“You did not bore me, Evan. You clearly need to talk to someone and I hope I helped.”

“Thank you. You did… a lot.” 

“You’re welcome, but next time, Major? See me during office hours?”

“Er… yeah. Sorry again about that, Doc.” 

Lorne really was torn up. Bless him. Kate touched his shoulder and smiled. “Really. It’s okay. Good luck.” 

Lorne slowly walked out of her room. 

Kate shook her head and slipped off her dressing gown. Getting back into her bed, she couldn’t help but worry for Evan Lorne. DADT seriously screwed with military people’s lives… he was so afraid he’d lose everything. 

 

\-----------------------

 

_No._   
_Oh No!_

Evan stopped dead and clenched his eyes shut. 

He _hadn’t_ seen Ronon sitting cross-legged outside the door to his quarters.

Evan opened his eyes and groaned. 

He had seen Ronon sitting cross-legged outside the door to his quarters. He really didn’t need this now. 

Ronon was sitting like some kind of monk in meditation, with his eyes closed and his hands resting on his knees. However the goofy drunk grin on his face belied any kind of seriousness or serene contemplation going on inside his head. He was waiting for Lorne and he had been here for a while. 

Had anyone else passed by here and noticed him? Did Kemp and Simmons, who had quarters nearest to his, come across the Satedan like this? 

“What are you doing here, Ronon? Why aren’t you in bed?” 

“I’m waiting for you.” His smirk widened and his glazed eyes opened and peered up at him. His long dreadlocks always looked chaotic, but they seemed even more so in his drunken state. 

“I meant why aren’t you in your own bed sleeping off all that Ruus wine?” Lorne said bitterly. 

“I wanted to say… to ask…” 

Ronon rose up to his feet, he swayed a little and moved in close to Lorne, backing him up against the door. He wasn’t going to answer the question, he had no intention of doing anything but this, as his hand reached out and touched Lorne’s hip. That hand then stroked and caressed at Lorne’s side, sliding up and down, teasing traces underneath Lorne’s t-shirt and tantalising his skin. 

“Can I? Can we do this again? I want you.”

“If I say no? Are you going to force yourself on me?” Lorne sneered into his face, he hoped that Ronon would back away if he was intimidating enough. Ronon did. He looked ashamed and backed away with his head bowed. 

“I’ll respect your wishes… though I hope you won’t say no.”

Lorne didn’t want to say no. Not now. 

A slight smirk and a nod of Lorne’s head made Ronon grab him harder. Ronon smiled, pulled him up against his body and bowed his face down to nuzzle against Lorne’s cheek and neck. Ronon’s warm breath, groaning with want on his skin, tingled pleasurably and Lorne tried to hold back a moan. He tried to keep his hands by his sides, but when Ronon slipped his own hands from Lorne’s hips to his ass, when his teeth nipped a sharp bite to his neck… Lorne reached up to Ronon’s dreadlocks and pulled. 

How he managed to get the door open, Lorne didn’t know. All he knew was that he stumbled into his quarters, unable to keep his hands from clawing at Ronon as his clothes were literally ripped off his body in shreds. 

“Ronon! Do you understand, this can’t happen again. It can’t. This is the last time.” 

“I hear ya,” Ronon chuckled. “Not again. Ever. ” 

His hand wrapped around Lorne’s cock and squeezed. 

“Never… no more after this… I mean it.” 

Ronon laughed and hauled Lorne onto the bed, forcing him on his back and spreading his legs. The laugh became dirtier when Ronon dropped down to his knees. 

 

\-------------------

 

He bit his lip to stop the dirty and filthy words going through his mind from blurting out, his fingers clawed at Ronon’s dreads, an encouragement for Ronon to keep swallowing him. He thrusted his hips again and again, he gasped for more, gagging the Satedan on his cock with every push. The humming moans from Ronon, the wet slurping sucks of his mouth, were amazing but there had to be more. It had to be better… he had to come, he needed to. 

As Ronon was intoxicated, he kept stopping, gasping for breath… he kept laughing and when he slapped Lorne’s cock, his hazed eyes watching it bob from side to side in amusement, Lorne couldn’t help but whack an angry blow to Ronon’s head. 

“Come on!” 

The feral growl he got back preceded an oral assault on his dick that had him quickly coming and so intensely he nearly passed out from the pleasure. As his body shook and convulsed from the orgasm, Lorne was turned over to his front. He received a smarting and painful smack to one of his ass cheeks and roughly pulled up onto his knees. 

Ronon was saying something. What, Lorne didn’t know as he was gone, his mind was in a daze. He couldn’t focus on anything. Fingers pried apart his cheeks and a mouthful of warm saliva and semen spat against his hole, followed by an eager mouth and tongue, licking and probing. 

Lorne shuddered. He choked and clung at the pillow in front of him, saliva drooled from his mouth as he was unable to control the spasms of pleasure rippling over his body.   
Then two fingers inserted up his ass and not gently. 

“FUCK! Oh Jeez!” 

Ronon laughed and bit at Lorne’s buttock. He began to thrust his fingers hard, scissoring him, stretching him before something wet and warm lubricated Lorne’s ass and Ronon’s fingers. A third was added, reducing Lorne to a writhing shuddering wreck beneath him. 

Ronon was relentless. His thrusts were quick and deep and Lorne had no control over the sensations his body was being subjected to, he couldn’t do anything except grit his teeth and let Ronon pummel him with ferocious vigour. 

A third finger became a fourth…more lube drizzled over them and Ronon’s hand and he forced them in down to the knuckles, slowly. The pain was too much. The pillow barely muffled Lorne’s cries, but when Ronon began to pump, seeming like his whole hand nearly sunk inside, Lorne felt the pillow rip beneath his straining hands. 

When Ronon pulled his fingers out of him with one quick pull, Lorne screamed every swear word he could think of. 

He tried to look, to lift his head only a little bit and see what Ronon was doing, but as before Ronon never liked being looked at. His hand forced Lorne’s face back into the remains of the pillow and all Lorne could hear was the younger man’s pleasured moans and the sounds of his sodden hand working his own cock to a semblance of hardness. 

“Ronon….” Lorne gagged and choked. “Give…. Give me a moment…. Please? Oh shit…. Please?” 

“Having fun?” Ronon breathed, pushing his hand harder against Lorne’s head. 

“Ugh…” He tried to say yes, but only drool escaped his mouth with the moan. 

“Good. No rest… no moments. No begging either… it’s not gonna change anything.” 

He was right. 

There was a smack of a hard erection across his backside and then Ronon pushed inside him, with a single agonising shove. 

“FUCK!” 

\--------------------------

 

Lorne must have passed out. 

Yeah. He had. 

He woke, aching all over, though nothing hurt more than his ass. It was painful to move, the kind of pain that Lorne couldn’t help but smile at. Tiny flutters of pleasure blended in with that pain as his body remembered what Ronon did to him. 

Ronon was right there behind him, his arms and legs entwined around Lorne, locking them tightly together and igniting the pain/pleasure with every grind of his hips against Lorne’s backside. The Satedan was very ready and hard. 

Ronon’s hands slipped over Lorne’s slick wet skin and nestled between Lorne’s legs, before working on him to erection. Ronon muttered and growled Satedan words into Lorne’s ear. Lorne didn’t understand it… but he knew it was dirty… that Ronon was explaining what he was going to do. 

“Again,” Ronon groaned, giving Lorne a squeeze that made him jolt. 

“No… not now. I’m tired… I’m sore.”

Ronon snorted a disapproving grunt and pulled Lorne around so they were facing. He grabbed Lorne’s hand and placed it on his cock, prompting the major to work on him. 

He couldn’t. 

Lorne wanted to, but he had no energy…and the conversation he had with Heightmeyer played on his mind. Lorne’s fears about what could happen next… what he was allowing… caused him to let go and roll onto his back. He winced as the stinging throbbing pain intensified all over his body. 

Ronon tried to grab his dick again, but Lorne blocked him with his arm. He sighed. 

This was going to be the only time he was going to be able to do this. 

“So what are you going to do?” Lorne asked, turning his head to look at Ronon. 

“Fuck you again?” 

“No… I meant, Atlantis. Are you staying? Or will you leave to be with your people?” 

Ronon shrugged his shoulders and grunted a _‘dunno.’_

“You don’t know? Surely you’d want to go back and be with other Satedans? I mean… why wouldn’t you?” 

Ronon shrugged his shoulders again and repeated himself. “Dunno. You want to get rid of me or something?” 

“I want this…” Lorne gestured with his hand between the two of them, “to stop. I can’t concentrate properly with you around. You complicate things.” 

A proud smirk crossed Ronon’s face. “I complicate things for you?” 

“Yeah. Ronon, this… I can’t keep doing this with you. It is affecting my work. I can’t do my job if I’m not focused on it. I will be sent back to Earth and discharged if this carries on.”

“Yeah, right,” Ronon scoffed in a disbelieving tone. 

“Yes! Yes, I do know. I know very well! It’s why Sheppard and Caldwell can’t know about us. It’s why all of the other military personnel can’t find out… my teams… how can I be any kind of leader or CO if they don’t trust me?” 

Ronon’s face scrunched up in confusion. “They won’t trust you because you’re fucking a guy? Me? That’s stupid. Who you fuck doesn’t change who you are. You’re still Major Lorne…your men and Sheppard should know this.” 

“It’s not that simple.”

“So… it’s me. You don’t like me and what I do to you?” 

Lorne sighed. He didn’t say that. 

“I don’t dislike you, Ronon. I certainly don’t dislike what we did. I want you and me to agree to...not do it anymore. That’s all.” 

“You want us to stop this because you’re worried others will know and judge you? Anyone who’s got a problem with me fucking you, can tell me directly and then we’ll see how they feel about it after I’ve smashed their face in.” 

Lorne wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. He smiled as it was endearing to know that Ronon was suddenly protective of him, but the smile faded. It was not protective, it was possessive. 

“No. You can’t do that.” 

Ronon sulked, like a child told he wasn’t allowed his favourite toy. 

“So does Sheppard hate guys doing it?” 

“I er…no. I don’t think so. I don’t know… Colonel Sheppard is a pretty open minded guy and I don’t think personally he is against it but that’s not… Ronon, I can’t carry on with you. We can’t carry on. I have to do what’s best for Atlantis, for my friends, my family and colleagues, to everyone who is depending on us to stop the Wraith. I need to be here, where I know I can do good. I need to be able to not… have anything, or anyone, distract me.” 

“Would it be any different if I was a woman?” 

“Yes…. No! Sort of. It shouldn’t make a difference who I’m… intimate with…who I fuck. But it does to our military. It shouldn’t but it does. Being with you… an alien… makes an even bigger difference.” 

Oh shit. Lorne saw the disappointment in Ronon’s eyes. He had offended him and that really wasn’t what he wanted to do. The last thing Ronon needed was more hurt. 

“It’s just a bit of fun y’know,” Ronon said, sounding surprisingly neutral and unperturbed by what Lorne had said, even though his eyes said differently. “But if you want me to back off… if you don’t want this… fine. I’ll stop.” 

Ronon peeled the bed sheet off him and got up. He walked around for a while, his fist pumping furiously on his cock, an attempt to ejaculate before leaving, but he began to gather up his clothes, frustrated and angry that his self-ministrations were not giving him release. He got dressed and his foul angry mood filled the room like a smoke bomb. 

Lorne wanted him to stop, to come back to bed and discuss this more, but he kept his mouth shut as it was best Ronon did leave. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” 

“I don’t want or need your pity, Lorne. I told you before.” 

And that was it. Ronon left. 

The door shut behind him and the room suddenly felt cold and uncomfortable. 

So that was the talk. That was the arrangement. Ronon would stop, they would no longer be in this bizarre relationship and Lorne could carry on as normal, as if this whole situation hadn’t happened. 

But was Ronon leaving Atlantis for good? Was he going back to be with his fellow Satedans? 

Lorne hoped that he would, but he dreaded it if he did. 

 

\-------------------------

 

Weir had asked him if he was staying. 

She had cautiously approached him in the corridor, his bad mood was permeating around him and making others steer well clear. She walked with him a while, not saying a thing and thankfully Ronon accepted her company. When they reached the training room, Ronon shucked off his boots and started to pummel the crap out of the punch bag. 

Weir asked him after the bag was broken from its chain. 

Ronon couldn’t answer her. 

Knowing Lorne didn’t want his advances anymore, it would be difficult for Ronon to stay. Ronon didn’t want to have anything serious with the guy, it wasn’t what he needed. He wasn’t ready to have anything serious, but to have nothing with him? He didn’t like that. 

But being here, on Atlantis, was the best place to be to fight against the Wraith, to exact revenge on them for the death of his family. The Earth people were this galaxy’s best hope in defeating this scourge. Maybe if he were to return to Solen and find his friends, find more fighters, they could join forces against the Wraith. 

It would be just like in the stories and tales of the Ancients he was brought up on. The beliefs of the Satedan people were that one day they would fight alongside the Ancient’s descendants… those special few who had the power to repel the Wraith, who were able to wield the advanced weapons. These Earth people were the ones… Sheppard has this gene naturally, (so does Lorne) he was one of the few who could operate the Ancestor’s technology. Ronon could stay and serve under him… it would be glorious. 

He could make history with these people. He could make his grandfather proud. 

“So?” Weir asked as Ronon tried to get his breath back. 

“I dunno.” He could go and maybe come back? 

“Well, should you decide to stay, you will be most welcome, Ronon.” 

“Thanks.” 

He could stay. He would be happy to, but his people still beckoned to him. Maybe Weir might agree to his idea. 

He thought about apologising for his drunken state last night, but Ronon hadn’t done anything except hug a lot of people. Lorne was the only one who he needed to apologise to and that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. 

“I would like to go and find some of my people,” Ronon said. “Satedan warriors are trained to fight Wraith… well, those with any semblance of honour do anyway. If I can find them, perhaps we could help you… we could join you.”

Weir nodded, but she wasn’t saying yes by doing that. 

“You wish to have an alliance?” she asked. 

“It would be beneficial, and the most popular stories told on Sateda said it would happen - that our very best warriors would fight alongside descendants of the Ancients.” 

“Oh really?” 

“They were my favourites. My Grandfather told them to me. It would be a great alliance and it would bring about the end of the Wraith for good.”

“Ronon, I can’t promise your people anything like this at the moment.” Elizabeth held up her hand to stop Ronon from protesting. “I’m not completely dismissing this… intriguing idea either. I’m all for more help when it comes to fighting the Wraith, but we need to make sure an alliance is the best thing for both parties, that it is what your people want. We also need to know the security of Atlantis remains intact. If you wish to leave and seek your kinsmen, then by all means. Tell them your idea and I will gladly start talks with them. But don’t rush it. Take some time and see what they say.” 

That was the best news he'd had since finding out he wasn’t alone. Ronon smiled and his chest filled with pride, with hope. He hadn’t felt hope in a long while. 

“Thank you, Doctor Weir….I’d like that. I’ll leave tomorrow for Belkan, if that’s okay? I’ll speak to Solen and see if I can locate the other survivors.” 

“Sounds like a plan, Ronon. Very well. How long do you need?” 

“Give me a week?” 

“Good. Will you need Sheppard and your team to help?” 

“Yeah. That’ll be great.” 

“I’ll authorize a go for this mission then. I’ll look forward to when you return.”

Just like that. Weir gave him the go ahead. 

This was going to be a great new start. 

Finally. 

\-------------------------

So 

He was leaving. 

Lorne remained by the stairs, watching the Stargate open, watching the Satedan pick up his bags. 

Ronon was really leaving. 

Sheppard, Rodney and Teyla were going too, but surely they were just there to see him off, to go with him to a certain point and make sure he was okay. 

Lorne was relieved. The whole him and Ronon thing was just what it was. A thing that happened… it was a crazy phase that he went through, a curiosity. With Ronon gone, they could both move on with their lives. 

“Gonna miss that big guy,” Daniels said beside him. 

Lorne turned and faced his team and Doctor Parrish and his little group of science folk. For a brief moment, he had forgotten that they were going on a mission of their own and that was another reason why he was pleased that Ronon was going. He tore Lorne’s focus. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. He made things not boring.” 

Not boring. Yeah. That was one way to put it. 

“I won’t miss his table manners though,” Juarez added. “You’d think he'd never used cutlery before.” 

Lorne actually quite liked the way Ronon ate his food with his hands. 

“Great fighter though,” Peterson chipped in. 

Yeah. He is an amazing fighter. 

“He scared me actually. Never knew if he was going to punch me out or something.”

“That’s because you’re a wuss, Travis,” Daniels said. 

“Oh, are you saying he didn’t make you slightly uncomfortable? Not once?” 

“I’d say more than once,” Parrish said. “His eyes would glare at you and threaten hurt.”

“Okay… he was a little intense,” Daniels said. “He had this scary psycho vibe about him… sure. Still gonna miss him though.” 

Lorne’s men all nodded in unison, even Parrish and his group nodded as if experiencing nostalgia of the ‘good ole days’.

They watched Ronon and the other three walk through the Stargate and eerily they all sighed. Lorne shook his head. When Chuck’s voice called for Lorne’s team over the tannoy, they moved forward. 

The gate was already spinning. 

No more Ronon Dex. 

No more worries. 

Lorne sighed. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to go on this mission, Major Lorne?” Parrish asked as he walked beside him. “You’re walking funny.” 

“I’m fine thanks, Dave.”

“David.” 

“Sure… David. I’m fine. A little cramp, nothing to worry about. I’ll walk it out.”

“Okay! But I have some herbs that might help with that, if you change your mind?”

The chevrons locked and the Stargate opened up. 

“I’m good, Doctor Parrish. Really. Hunky dory.” 

Parrish grinned and gave him a friendly slap on the back. “Great!”

They stepped through the event horizon. 

\-------

_He ran._

_It was his life now, it’s what he did._

_The guilt was tearing him up. Every body he came across was there because of him. These people had died because they had the unfortunate luck of being on the next planet he visited._

_The Wraith were looking for him. They were never going to stop._

_The Stargate was in sight, he had a chance, but he was so damned tired._

_“You need to kill them all.”_

_That kept him going. Killing Wraith made it all worth it… his people demanded it._

_When Ronon reached the dialling device, he took a quick moment to look back. There was no sign of the four Wraith who were chasing him, but they were coming. The tracker in his back would make sure they found him. He felt he should try to take a couple of them out, but they were stronger now they’ve fed. He wouldn’t stand a chance._

_He dialed a random address… one he hoped wasn’t inhabited, but as he inputted the symbols, someone else from another gate did so quicker and opened an incoming wormhole._

_A dart came out of the gate and Ronon was thrown to the ground from the force of it flying over his head. There was the eerie sound of the transporter and when Ronon got back to his feet, he was confronted with a single Wraith warrior._

_“Take him out.”_

_Yelling, Ronon rushed the lone Wraith. He got in two punches with his knife, the blade piercing the pale blue flesh and the armour, but it hardly seem to faze the Wraith. The Wraith retaliated with hard pounding blows to Ronon’s head and abdomen, but it wasn’t as strong as the others, it hadn’t fed yet._

_It tried to. The Wraith attempted to get its hand on Ronon’s chest, but despite the hits he took, Ronon defended again with his knife, slashing at the thing with all he could muster._

_He felt blood splash against his face. He heard the devilish screams of the Wraith before a cold wet hand clamped onto Ronon’s chest and claws ripped him open._

 

\-------

 

Ronon woke with a scream in his throat. 

He heard concerned voices around him and through the stinging of tears in his eyes he could make out Solen standing over him. Hands shook his shoulders, pulled him up from the bed and a palm slapped against his face. 

 

“Ronon! Ronon, wake up! You’re all right! You’re safe!” 

Disorientated and scared, Ronon reached out to the side of his bed and grabbed his gun, powering it up and pointing it directly into Solen's face. His friend was concerned, worry etched his older wizened features, but it wasn’t anything to do with the gun. 

“Ronon, put the damned thing down, it’s me!” Solen slapped the barrel of the gun away and finally Ronon gained some orientation. He dropped his gun back down on the table and immediately ran his hands over his chest. The pain felt real, but there was nothing on his skin except his old scars. 

“Another bad dream?” 

Ronon scowled, slipped off the wooden bed and crashed down to the floor. He groggily wiped the cold sweat from his face and looked up at his friend and to where Sheppard and Teyla were standing behind him, with red aching eyes. 

He didn’t need to ask the question. Not again. 

“They’ve answered no, Ronon. I’m sorry.” Solen sighed and shook his head. “The others don’t want to jeopardize the new lives they have.” 

“Cowards.” Do they not remember what it was to be Satedan? 

“You can’t blame them, Ronon,” Solen said. “You can’t blame any of them in light of what happened and what we’ve all lost.” 

Ronon felt a surge of anger swell and he rose up to his feet, shoving Solen with his body, backing the older Satedan up against the wall. 

“You mean they’ve given up!” Ronon hissed, giving Sheppard a shove as he tried to intervene. “They’ve hidden from the Wraith and forgotten all it’s meant to be Satedan. They are defeated! Well, not me. Never me! I will not hide away in a life of a coward, not as the Wraith cull every human in this galaxy.” 

“Ronon…” 

“Are you going to cower here too, Solen?” 

“I am no coward!” Solen yelled back, his face flushing red with anger. “You’ve seen what I’ve done… what I’ve accomplished here and what I still fight for! No, we’ve not been through what you’ve been through… but we still fight!” 

“But these people…” Ronon jabbed his finger at Sheppard, “can work the technology of the Ancients! They are their descendants, the revered from our stories.” 

“Revered?” John asked, surprised and a little bit smug. 

Ronon didn’t follow up on that. He looked at Solen, his eyes now pleading.

“We can become glorious again. We can do the mighty and rid this galaxy of the Wraith… we do it with the people of Atlantis! Just as the legends foretold!” 

“You can do it, Ronon.” Solen's anger passed and he smiled and clasped his brother-in-arms on his shoulder. “You’re the Specialist, the one out of all of us who could do anything. You’re the true warrior…few have ever achieved what you’ve done. At such a young age too! Go with them… be a part of them and we’ll support you as best we can. We will back you… I will have your back. You deserve to be with these people and carry out this fight, more than me… more than any of our kin.” 

“He’s right, Ronon,” Teyla said. Sheppard nodded in agreement. 

“We need you on our team, Chewie.” John patted Ronon’s back. 

Ronon wanted to protest more. He still felt angry that over the past two weeks none of the Satedan survivors wanted to live out the dreams of being allies with the Ancient’s descendants. But Solen was right. The older man had all his contacts and he was fighting the Wraith in his own way. 

Ronon slowly nodded. 

“We’ll go back to Atlantis in the morning,” Teyla said. “We can start anew.” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“No. I want to go now.”

“Have we all finished screaming and shouting and keeping the whole inn awake? Some of us do actually want to get some sleep!” 

Ronon leaned to look round Solen and Teyla and he glared angrily at McKay who had appeared in the corridor. 

“We’re leaving,” Sheppard declared. Rodney looked devastated, his eyes widened as if to say _“what now?”_ but then Teyla elbowed him in the ribs and he sighed reluctantly. 

“Fine!” 

Ronon didn’t want to fall asleep here. He didn’t want to have the nightmares again. As he slumped back down onto his bed, rubbing at his face and making his fatigue even worse, he realised that there was only one place where he could get a restful… a peaceful and good night’s sleep. 

 

\--------------

 

It was his first night back from his mission and all he wanted to do was sleep. 

Lorne had finished off his reports, showered and changed into some sleep pants. His head barely touched the pillow when his door chime began to go off, again and again. 

He cursed as he threw off the sheets and walked to the door to answer it. He got one of the shocks of his life when he saw the tall Satedan filling the doorway. Ronon was dressed in his dark leathers and a long black coat, which was torn and had seen better days. In the subdued night lighting of Atlantis, Ronon looked ten times more menacing than he had ever done. His dreads were even more disheveled and his skin and eyes appeared to be darker too. He looked like something that had crawled out of hell. 

“Ronon.” Lorne tried not to hide his surprise, but that surprise turned quickly to anger as Ronon barged past him and into his quarters. “Hey! What the hell, man?” 

“I’m not leaving. Atlantis, that is. I’m staying here. I’m going to remain on Sheppard’s team.” Ronon shucked his coat off and let it fall to the floor, along with a bag that Lorne could easily guess contained some dirty clothes. 

“Oh. That’s nice.” Lorne really couldn’t help the sarcasm. “And you’re here… in my room, because?” 

“Tired. I need sleep.” 

“You have your own room. Your own bed.” Lorne’s irritation and spite seethed through clenched teeth. “Sleep there.”

Ronon ignored him and wandered over to the bed, where he began to stare at it longingly. 

“Hey! Dex! I said go back to your own place. You are not sleeping here!” 

“It’s the only place I can rest.” 

Lorne shook his head and grabbed Ronon’s arm. “Too bad! We agreed to not do this! You can’t suddenly change your mind and…what?”

Ronon looked Lorne in the eye. There was no anger staring back at him, no fiery dangerous intent. There wasn’t even the dare, the urge for a fight… no sexual desire. There was no fight at all in this man. 

“You… you can rest in your own room, Ronon,” Lorne said with more genuine concern. He was confused even further when Ronon shook his head. “No? Is it because my room has an eastern view of the sea, or something?” 

“The nightmares leave me alone when I’m here,” Ronon replied, turning away and again looking at the bed. 

Shit. Lorne sighed. He didn’t want to be an asshole, he didn’t want to be mean and send Ronon away, but he couldn’t stay here. It would only lead to one thing and it wasn’t going to be sleep. Lorne couldn’t trust himself if Ronon was going to share his bed. 

“I’m sorry… I can’t…”

“Please?” 

Oh shit. Ronon had said please. 

“Fine. Just for tonight and then after, we seriously have to…”

Lorne never bothered to finish his sentence as Ronon stripped himself of all his clothes and climbed into Lorne’s bed. He pulled the sheets around his large frame and was snoring away before Lorne climbed in next to him.


End file.
